benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











last night in the cafe was merely bearable.i spent 3 hours there and should charged 5 rmb but was allowanced 1 rmb.after returned to the dorm i read awhile my blog on my pda and slept after 2 am.i dreamed played with a python and half wet dreamed.the night before the day i dreamed of one of my once qrrs colleague,lixiangjun (finding the emperor),who once was a cop worked in qrrs and lived neighborly in the dorm but later gave up his career and went to beijing,said worked there as a real estate salesman.i woke up after 10 am and got up at 10:23 am and went to see my baby at once.the snow likely continued since last night,and snowing all the day.when i arrived my baby was striding near the door in the waiting room,while the aunt and her elder son cooking.the kid son learning in the room he lived.my baby on my shoulders playing caps of bottle.the elder son want to stand on the football and fell to floor and damaged his arm.his mother accompany him to the hospital.my baby didn’t want to receive his mother outside,so we stayed.his mother bought some apples and bananas.the kid son left to study.we started to eat lunch,but his mother refused to sit aside me,but on the opposing side around the table.my baby ate less.after lunch i prepared hot water for my baby to bath,but his mother opposed it.my baby soon bore into sleepiness when we watched tv.he slept soon,so did his mother.i doubting if i should went to surf,but felt dozy and later slept aside my baby.my baby first woke up.then the kid son returned.we went outside after his mother suggestion.we visited the sports yard,where we took some shots.my baby asked me to push him sitting on the ice ground to slide and later i even push him sliding with his back and head on the ice.his mother had to let her shoes repaired,so we headed.but a girl student of the school reminded my baby’s mother her tutored schedule,and we returned home abrupt.at home his mother urged me to leave.i backup shots to her notebook and left.the aunt and her elder son had returned and slept together.i played my pda awhile in the dorm and had dinner.then i waited in the dorm for overnight surfing.i listened radio and dozed awhile.i departed for the cafe newly open at 8:54 pm.here i busy with finding some torrent seeds to download,now that http downloads frequently hacked by dog and can’t run in windows,including 3 different av soft’s definition files and some tools i needed.they also let quite some pda warez can’t run on my ppc.i don’t know what they intended but they had not too much options to adopt against me.
bye.i love u.in this saint snow white world.i love u with my simplicity and my soleness.kiss u with beer.

family in thickest snow in the winter



{January 30, 2007}   benzillar’s blogroll 01/30/2007

Facebook | Ben Zhu



last night in the cafe was under pest of dog.they controlled the keyboard and the hardware package filtered the internet traffic.my ftp client can’t download even can connected to the server.i cost 3.5 rmb but with an allowance of 0.5 rmb just to post to my blogs.this night i watched the traffic monitor hardware modified my ftp client’s requests and let it bypassed downloading to finish or kill a download queue.they likely can modify files on my write-proof udisk,and let wrote it after my file operation finished.they hijacked and modified my submit package to www.diigo.com to let it batch posting err-prone.in a word,they blocked the way to the world within china,which fatally deemed them into death,or no freedom in china forever.
when i arrived the cafe, a cop in uniform sat on the nearest seat in the room and his car ported outside.what else they can do,except licking around with their dirty and infectious tongue?
last night i slept early,just after 11:47 pm.i didn’t woke up till 11 am but can’t help continuing to sleep.i got up at 2:40 pm and went to borrow pc mags.there were 3 kinds of new issue but i can only borrow 2.so i finished reading one there.then i passed the front open space of qrrs and its workers’ palace.i doubting if i should go over to see my baby so i didn’t enter it.but as soon as i picked the pc mags,i enjoyed reading them in the room all the afternoon,till dinner time.i ate 4 rmb food as my only meal today.turned back to dorm i finished reading to another pc mag.in the mid my baby’s mother buzzed in and my baby was held by his mother to the phone to talk to me.then i visited the cafe.here i tried to let ftp client download but its ill worked under hacking.the 5 cafes near the qrrs all fatally blocked me from now.my blog posts,some of them err-prone,likely under their unauthorized modifications after posted,not merely under hijack and modifications before the moment my submit package through its way out of china,the dog pest land.
bye.i love u.in this saint white world of winter snow.i love u in every piece of my message in the cyberspace.i love u with my tear and soul.kiss u with beer.

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{January 29, 2007}   benpost 01/28/2007

Portable Apps…. free your softwares… :: DBZFYAM Portables …

  • portable apps exchange
     – post by benzillar

warm winter day  Annotated(1)

  • last night was an enjoyable experience in the cafe.one of my neighbor left in
    the mid and 2 of other side slept but threats lingered on me for quite some
    time.my 2 sd card capable of 2 gb was stuffed and i had to ditched some ebooks
    downloaded.i returned to the dorm to have breakfast,then rested on bed for 2
    hours.then i headed to computer market to buy myself another sd card.this time
    the vendors of the booth i dealt for some time all present,including the manager
    i earliest dealt.a 2 gb sd card cost me 135 rmb while just a month ago 1 gd sd
    card of the same brand of apacer cost me 115 rmb.i returned to my baby’s
    mother’s home and there i immediately sort what i got last night to hard disk.i
    noticed my baby and his mother not in waiting room and i thought they haunted
    outside but likely they slept in bedroom.i till lunch time paid attention to
    them after i almost finished my sorting.after lunch we played with our baby
    awhile in the bedroom while the aunt chatted in the other room.my baby’s mother
    unease and frequently urged us to hang outside,but my baby refuted it.then the
    aunt and his eld son leaving.they three likely had slept together on the narrow
    bed for 3 nights,even her sister’s home were spacious.soon my baby’s mother
    decided to haunt outside.we went to a supermarket on my bike.my baby asked to
    stride on his own in the mansion,looking around here and there without any
    daunt.his mother again frequently urged to leave.my baby later touched the glass
    wall with his hands and 2 of his fingers bleeding.after we found it his mother
    complained me a lot and cold shoulders to me.on the way home we shopped in the
    grocer shop.his mother again and again urged me not to stay her home and sneered
    to me.when we just arrived the home a phone call likely from the grandma arrived
    and i left without farewell to my baby and his mother talking to the phone.in
    the dorm i tried some time on my pda then dozed.after dinner i read awhile my
    blogs on my pda.then my baby first acquainted me in the phone.his mother just
    want to square me out,to save her insult to me in the afternoon.i gladly talked
    with them.i also buzzed my hometown to informed my mother i had remit her 700
    rmb to support her life there.i dozed till 7 pm and then i here to write u. the
    moon was round and large but unclear.my baby’s mother told me in the afternoon
    the weather was turning.i love u,like the coming snow.in the supermarket a girl
    with a woman in front of me reminded me of u.i love u,in every corner i search
    for u.kiss u with deer.bye.  – post by benzillar
warm winter day



    {January 28, 2007}   bright sunny day

    last night in the cafe i registered my baby and his mother another account with http://www.diigo.com ,for i valued it.after returned to the dorm its near 9 pm and i read the biography of philipine’s president Gloria Macapagal Arroyo till 3 am and when i laid it aside i can’t afford to miss any time i can be with my baby,my god,and felt deep sorrow for my baby and his mother.so i headed to see them.the bike area was locked and i went there via a taxi,costing me 8 rmb.when i entered the bedroom his mother was awake.i kissed my baby a lot and let him woke up and again milked to sleep.i slept aside my baby against the room the aunt lived.in the morning my baby approached me and touched my eyes but i just want to sleep.till near 9 am the breakfast almost finished my baby approached me again to let me get up to breakfast.i got up and found the grandma and his kid sister’s family there around the table.i picked the inner seat and eat.my baby soon asked for my care and i barely drank a little bowl of bean juice.even i want more the table and dishes was cleaned.then the old sisters went to shopping.the kid son went to study.our baby played with bottles of cosmetics with tap water and later was took away by his mother.lunch was cooked by the liu,the first son of the aunt.the kid son also returned.lunch was merely a dish of eggs.after lunch the liu washed dishes.my baby was held by his mother.the challenge from the liu let me dozy.then he asked me some question about customization of win xp desktop icons.my answers likely faultless and let my baby’s mother glad.when his mother started to tutor a girl student,i left to shower.i also had a haircut.on the way home i met my baby with his mother haunting out and we entered the sports yard.my baby played with 2 basketball for some time in the clusters of boy players.his mother urged to return so we did.his mother bought him a cup of ice cream and i bought him a stick of sugar gourd.they enjoyed the gourd at home.soon the old sisters returned and they busy with sorting the refrigerator,which lower closet frozen.i accept my baby’s mother’s urge to leave before dinner but his mother discussed my expense log book till dinner time.dinner was a large fish,cooked by the liu.before dinner i spent some time swiftly move my download to hard disk.then the sons went to shower.my baby and his mother lingered some time around the bed on which the aunt lean.i felt boring and intended to leave but at the time the sons returned.i lingered some time with my baby and his mother in our bedroom and i intended stayed there for the night,but his mother drove me away.in fact last night i told her i wouldn’t stay in the dorm any more.i just want spent any time of my own with my baby.but now after a night and a day i felt my baby can live well without my sorrow for him.i kissed my baby several times before leaving.the liu rightly stayed in the waiting room to watch our parting.on the way i decided to spend the overnight in the newly open cafe to surf and download.so far i found some ebook to download from ftp servers.but 0day stuff was blocked by dog.dog periodically cut off the connection to internet. bye.i love u.the biography of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo let me know life was short and tender,while responsibility was straightforward as gliding.i felt i need more mood to enjoy the passing history around me,including my beloved.love u in the sheer light.kiss u with deer.
    some shot of my baby today.

    BabyNearLunarNewYear

    baby near lunar new year



    {January 26, 2007}   dry clear sunny day

    dry clear sunny day

    last night i merely posted to my blogs in 2 hours.my ftp client can’t connect to its servers.and dog in the last few minutes cut down all connection of the pub not to let me operate on my diigo.com web service,showing how they ruthlessly treating public interests.returned to dorm i read my blogs on my pda after 2 am.i woke up at 9:10 am and got up at 9:17 am and went to see my baby at once.my baby was striding in the waiting room near the door while his mother washing in the cooking area.when i kneeled down to receive my baby, he avoided me and retreated to the lavatory.after uncoated i held my baby in arms and he immediately asked to play with bottles of comestics and later played with tap water.her mother soon can’t bare and took him away from me.i then tried to backup her notebook’s newly installed os but she refused me by taking away the notebook.soon the eld son of the aunt arrived from his hometown.he talked loudly and soon left with the family to eat out.i suggested to my baby’s mother to eat out but she said she wouldn’t enjoy my treat.my baby sleepy and was milking.i decided to wait my baby ready for lunch.i dozed siting on the mat in the waiting room while my baby and his mother slept in the bedroom.after my baby woke up,i asked his mother’s idea about lunch but she refused.i then went to the restaurant near the railway station to buy dumpling (baizi in chinese).the process was quite long,as routine in chinese state-owned enterprise or collective company.i bought 0.6 kg,or 1.2 jin in chinese measure unit.my baby barely ate 3 bites.my tried my best to eat more.the rest was left aside.i cared awhile my baby then his mother again took him away.later she tutored the girl student.then the grandma arrived.she chatted with her kid sister’s family in the room for my baby after the later returned.i silently started to backup the os of the notebook and till they finished dinner i finished the task.the notebook likely surfed yesterday and heavily infected,resulting slow response and an 1.6 gb folder of quarantined files within the av soft.in dinner time the kid son of the aunt called me and i admitted it.my baby’s mother soon cleaned dishes.my baby finally approached me and played awhile with the notebook and shifted it to the bed the aunt occupied.he felt glad to play with the notebook till he picked the heap of my burn cds.his mother later forcefully took him away from the cds and i rushed to pack them.then i farewell to my baby.he followed his mother to the waiting room and didn’t kiss me as usual.
    that’s my day today.the sun really loveable in the morning.the moon high and clear in the mid sky after i finished my dinner in the canteen just after returned from my baby’s mother’s home.i was in a surprise to find its still at service and i partake some beer with the resting worker of the canteen.
    bye.i love u.in every corner u can hide from me.i love u like the most peaceful moon light in front of ur door way.kiss u with deer.i love u.

     
     
     


    last night i spent 3 hour at a price of 4.5 rmb to post and adding my family members blog accounts to href=”www.diigo.com”>wwwwww.diigo.com> re respectively.dog knowing my trying to get rid of the handicapped post2blog, which ping to technorati automatically was disabled even u can set in the setting files to default to ping ,and proxy setting of individual blog account was locked to direct connecting even u can set proxy, hacked by hacker in dog team,and href=” http://www.diigo.com”>wwwwww.diigo.com> of offer a blogs management function to batch post via its web service, totally get rid of the control of china dog in the shit stained mainland.dog now hacking heavily hamper me to download post2blog and my other work.PAN>
    AN style=”FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体”>last nlast night i returned to the dorm after 1 am and read my blogs on my pda till 2 am.then i wandered in the room till 5:02 am.on bed i still felt hard to sleep but enjoyed on the bed.i heard the leaving of qrrsers.i woke up at 5:01 pm and went to dine.the canteen administrators all urged me to support my baby when he was infant.i had a 4 rmb food without any meat.after dinner i dozed on bed till after 8 pm i woke up and sometimes caught the reckons of dog and the family member of my baby’s mother’s.then i ported in a cafe with which i first time experience overnight surfing.>

    SPAN style=”FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体”>i had noti had not too much to utter now.i need some additional time to reinforce my cyber existence on web services.bye.i love u.every time i caught mind of u.kiss u with tear.love u on the sea bed with blue water.kiss u.DIV>
    Technor
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    {January 24, 2007}   bright sunny day

    last night i spent 4 rmb to post and register my baby and his mother their accounts with www.diigo.com .i read in dorm till 2:41 am and finished "from vietnam to 9.11:on the front line of national security" and some of "thinking on the web".in the dawn i dreamed again i held my baby alone and left him with my absence for some time and when his mother found him his body covered with some swells.i faced the accuse of ignoring and i tried to settle with god’s care and tested it with my ears but just woke up by babbles from the female administrators in the corridor.so i hurried up to see my baby and found he was in the close arms of the aunt who watching tv with his kid son.my baby almost immediately asked for my cares.he immediately asked to play with the shampoo newly bought by the aunt.the kid son was in a fuss and attempted to take away the shampoo several times.my baby later played with water in the lavatory and the aunt finally took away the bottle of shampoo.then i bathed my baby.this time i finished bathing my baby on my own and my baby played with bailing out water from the basin to floor without any notice of water projecting onto his head.i wrapped him with his towel and later put on him.after lunch i started to burn 3 pirate os onto cds.his mother soon left for her school.i sang a lot with my baby on my shoulders and the kid son learning in the waiting room.i against my baby’s mother’s warn started to reinstall os of the pc and the notebook and tried to reinforce the security settings and backup them.the grandma and her sister went to shower.i didn’t finish my work till 8 pm and missed the dinner,even my baby called me for quite sometimes.i just want to let pc busy so as let me had free time to eat my dinner.my baby was forced to challenge their side watch with his brave deeds.he also attempted to use the computers for several times but mostly held aside by his mother.when i finished my work on pc and read to eat my dinner, his mother,who was tutoring a boy student first time,cursed me for i let her ms powerpoint missing and can’t open some ppts.i finally lost temper and beat her.the boy student left, and the aunt and her son mingled in the mid and i almost threatened the kid son when he attempted to stop me.my baby cried loudly but later slept on my shoulders.when the aunt and her son let my baby’s mother into their room and lock the door i kicked the door and let it broke down to the floor and scattered the glass.when my baby woke up i open the window on balcony and talked to him and sang for him.after shift my baby to his mother with milk she just bought,i left for dinner and kiss my baby.
    in a restaurant near the dorm i turned talkative and shown my pda to the boss couples.then i was here writing to u.
    its not a bad day today.i just sorry for my baby for i didn’t accompany him more time.i love him exceed what can expressed in words.i love u.with my tear and beer.i love u from the heaven.kiss u with fragrance.bye.

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    last posting in the cafe i with a member card was painful.dog block most of proxies and interacted with me in the process i switched proxies.i finally gave up to post to my googlegroup at http://groups-beta.google.com/group/benzyrnill and clipmarks at http://clipmarks.com/clipper/benzillar after 2 hours,in which half and an hour spent posting times and times failed.returned to the dorm i read "from vietnam war to 9.11: on the front line of state security" till 2 pm,then i read awhile my blogs on my pda.i went to bed after 3 am.i felt agile even on bed and in a dream or in reality i watched the dawn sunshine on the curtain of the window.i also dreamed doing homework with one of my childhood friend in my hometown overnight in a empty building.i dreamed luxun,the notable modern chinese literature author whose real name was zhoushuren,taught us in a narrow classroom.he wore t-shirt and sometimes bared his chest.i got up at 11:37 am and left to see my baby at once.my baby just walking near the door when i arrived and held him till his mother and the aunt finished their lunch with mutton with vegetable.when i started to eat,the mutton was few and i ate some rice with pickle.his mother demanded me swallowing the soup and i rebuked,against her sneer.then his mother suggested haunted outside with our baby.we went to the supermarket near qrrs.we haunted awhile then entered the adjoin kfc.his mother wanted to buy 3 kind of food but only got 2.i bought a hamburger with my own purse to feed myself.my baby glad there and lean himself on the back of the chair for kid.after returned home,his mother want him to sleep and i also dozed awhile but they gave up sleeping soon,left me alone for some time.after woke up i launched to reinstall his mother’s notebook’s win xp,as her current one was hacked to unable to connect to internet.the os i got several days ago trickily,let me failed many times to install from hard disk,for there were not blank cds to burn the cd image onto cd.my baby wanted to watched me for sometimes but carefully held aside by his mother,who turned more and more impatient with me.my baby even cried when he attempted to push the power bottom while the ghosting process running and i stopped him.i finally gave up after 10 pm.at the time my baby busy with stack books from the cabin and stood onto it and stepped down and laughed a lot.his mother with the kid son of the aunt watched tv aside.the aunt previously watching but now close herself in door.i held my baby played awhile then uncoated him and he accepted to play with his mother and ready to milk.i left them when my baby likely to be fed and slept.in the dorm i read "from vietnam war to 9.11" till 4:01 am and left only a chapter on 9.11 to be finished tonight.i enjoyed the updated information on the development of tactics and air power of modern war.i got up at 2:07 pm and want to blog.on the way i bought 5 blank cd at a cost of 6 rmb.the cafe with which i had a member card was stuffed so i returned to a cafe nearer to dorm zone.the stuffed cafe really indicated the abound idle young men.
    bye.i love u.day and day i counted ur steps apart from me.i need u,no matter how far the distance was.kiss u with tear.

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    {January 21, 2007}   2 sunny days

    the night i got what i needed.i walked to my baby’s mother’s home in the dawn.my baby and his mother just got up.i asked for porridge and his mother cooked for me then left to shower.soon the aunt got up.i murmured to my baby how tasty a breakfast with porridge and pickle can be.my baby ate some porridge first but frequently asked to idle awhile.later i ate 2 bowls of porridge and ate out of what his mother cooked.the aunt cooked some other porridge for herself and her son.my baby’s mother returned with bean juice and pies.i sang and recite chinese traditional poems a lot.my baby slept for about 40 minutes.then we went to receive his mother.i ate an ice cream on the way.the door of the school open so we entered.we roamed in the yard for some time.then the students left.finally his mother appeared with her notebook and we returned.after lunch i dozed.when i woke up finding my baby and his mother and the kid sister of the aunt absent at home i started to sort my downloads last night and backup them to my mobile hard disk.dog let the virus definition file of norton av ill working and they likely infected all files i got,but i didn’t mind them,virus and spyware just no way to escape av soft’s chase after time.after my baby returned with his mother i cared him playing.his mother left soon again.when the grandma arrived i started to transfer my browser’s working environment to my baby’s mother’s notebook,to let her adopt the convenience of bookmarks and addons of firefox.backup and migration of her old cookies and remembered password on her notebook to the firefox portable costing me the rest time of the afternoon till dinner,and finally password book within firefox incompatible with firefox portable and i had to give up migrating memoried password .dinner was dumplines.after dinner i went to shower,there only me washing,but the man served there to clean bathers’ body clean himself side me near and let me felt cold.when i returned home my baby and his mother stayed on the bed the aunt occupied.my baby played with the kid son and sat on the back of the kid son who laid himself face down.i felt sleepy and returned.his mother let me fetched 3 oranges and 2 apples.in dorm room i dozed an hour then went to sleep around 11 pm.when i arrived the dorm the rat in my neighbor room just met me in front of his room.i woke up after 1 pm and got up at 1:52 pm.i roamed in sunshine in the open space near the front gate of qrrs,then explored the newly built qrrs’ residential zone,where it just separated itself from flat houses area.i got a view how city residents in old time can be poor except the land they occupied before technology made building house so easy.i returned to dorm after 3 pm and started to read the ebook titled "from vietnam to 9.11:front line of terrorism" till dinner time.the canteen shut,so i had to eat my dinner in the near pub,at a price of 5 rmb.i ate an apple after dinner and headed here the cafe with it i had a member card.
    in the afternoon before i got up i reviewed my love to u and my future with u.i don’t know where u r and how u think of me,i m in need of u.god sure guiding us front the upside.
    bye.i love u.kiss u with tear.

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    et cetera