benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











{August 18, 2016}   best dream in decade.

Aug 18, 2016

dreamt in a tour returning home. met my Tibet artist friend Benba Chungdak. he collects painting job on street. then with him to campus where his dorm hided his paintings. then I saw my 2 wives, a Taiwan girl already with my son, and Asoh Yukiko who gracious as usual. they trifled a small bit upon my love among them, and I blamed my son’s mom’s improper grudge with Asoh. I’m so glad to see Asoh, who is so beautiful and cordial forever. they likely disputed with persimmon cakes and I brought the gift more for them. they waited for me too long together in the campus. my once mentor in Nankai Univ, a woman in family name Young, led me to where I saw my family. its such a proud and relief, esp my Queens still so beautiful, I caress Asoh and calmed down my son’s mom, so pleasant that I woke up at once. napped again found I carried 2 stone stamps to evaluate. the woman auditor identified my own product and another inherited. she priced the old one as ¥10,000 and encouraged me practize more on sculpture for true value. its so nice dreams that I would rather not to talk any other topics now. dad, God, I had lived without woman for nearly 10 years. grant me my beloved girls, esp Asoh Yukiko, girl TW, to complete my life long desire of beauty. bring me sooner my Royal China to maintain Majesty, Mighty for beauty. grant me finance independence and offspring prosperous.

Aug 14, 2016

dreamt first about imperial army of English, France, Germany. I was with british army which I reckon best disciplined and survived world monarchy crisis back to World War I. then dreamt with my cousin from his village. on way passing a cave I found a tortoise in its lair and caught it. I blamed escorts didn’t bring pincer with us. then in a factory I cooperated on crane with my once colleagues, a man and a woman, trying protect 2 objects while moving other subjects. after the practise I will publish a book. this morning I felt sleepy. last Friday I in holy affirmative visited my son who muted my instant message, against risk of being cursed by his insane mom, a small bitch. then found my son never implement our new router vpn app. I demonstrated him again. during the process, local cop buzzed in, saying ccb bank entreated the police station to urge me clear my credit debt, in the courtesy of neighborhood of their office buildings. returned to QRRS dorm, my 2nd elder sister called. she let me know my kid brother’s recent visit was trusted by my other sibling in hometown, and blamed him didn’t complete the voyage. I told her my kid brother’s wrong perception upon cheating bank, or escapage of debt, claiming PRC’s bank system all follows modern western bank’s practice, as corporate activity, no violence no cheating once common phenomenon in old Chinese dynasties. I told her and later my kid brother bank’s penalty acceleration will soon surplus my paying back speed with my poor salary, making my debt ever-increasing. then she suggested helping me to pay back once for all. I knew how poor they are but still hopeful upon resolving my credit crisis, as holy hints. yesterday I visited my son earlier than usual after persuading him install a reply message app on his smartwatch after he complained no way to reply directly on it. his mom soon brought him to go cinema after we just test out receiving social networks’ im while sending function yet problematic. God, help us get what we want. break barrage against our universal messaging service. grant me financial independence before it went worse. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China to remove the sinking nightmare of PRC aimlessness but devastation. bring me new family and sound business in buffeting PRC prewar.

Aug 11, 2016

this week very busy with innovate our internet borderless access by install router app. I visited my son on Monday to settle it against the bitch, his mom’s curse. but she in fact absent. according my son his mom in a 3 days tour out. we indeed enjoy more broader freedom online. my son more or less agreed with me the endeavor after we called it a day and watched Amazon video together with his pad game. last Saturday I taught him a lesson when I found he didn’t respect my gift, his new Sony SmartWatch, and ditched aside. I blamed him wrong judge upon quality of people and thing. later we reconciled in cause of his naive. since left him I busy with fine tune my website template for 2 days, adding page break into all articles to make homepage more tidy with summaries, more compelling in versatile layout, esp columns. last night after fixed chrome missing flash plugin and doesn’t play video, after enjoyed the peace of watching my favorite TV drama, I deeply missing my son, doubting why he turned off so long, ignored my instant message. lately around 9:30pm I buzzed him but he likely slept. this morning I felt sleepy again after breakfast, I tried to immerse in reading and watching but failed. in nap I dreamt I cooking some delicacy in a niche with hotpot, the mood likely in my hometown and my old family, except I am the husband and father. I waited and waited while my son or my concerned more or less impatient. when I ready to open beer, I in urgency to poo but can’t help shit in my pant. I intended to replace my under clothes in toilet room by myself but at once woke up. God, dad, I do my best to improve our living environment. even it likely not in my son’s interest but I inspired to do it on my own. dad, what’s wrong in my son’s silence upon my efforts to equip him? Dad God, what’s my futile to bring about improvement in my son’s living standard? or is it just the sinful little woman’s curse and reckless blockage? grant me good stay with my son, in my means catering to him. bring me sooner my Royal China to fix the uncertainty in unity my son, Hope of China, God of Universe. bring us home and voyage with my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. engage me with my cyberspace startup, and traffic meaningful to our web presence. thx, Father.

Aug 1, 2016

first dreamt my passed parents. then dreamt as secretary of chief scriptwriter of CCTV, PRC’s official TV station. we slept on a giant bed with lots of colleagues, like scene of Kanye West’s “Famous” MTV, reviewed lots of grand history, taiga drama, masterpiece episode, all kind of popular TV programs created from nothing, including the most important, annual lunar new year eve party show. we help or direct lots of famous theme commentary or documentary series, for we not only scholar but all familiared each other to team up. we can check in without ticket anytime. then my boss shitted some on bed and blamed me as scapegoat. all people on bed laughed and didn’t probe real trouble maker any more. last week we settled woz’s new Sony smart watch 2. he installed most on his own, but while he too busy to logon facebook, twitter, gmail account, I did instead when he is away for his lesson in my Friday visit with inform of his ongoing in setup. that’s more or less regret for I promised him he handle the new gadget himself, for the sake of technological savvy. the celebration ends with Japanese cuisine lunch he preferred, but he didn’t eat much, in fact quite few. and after shower later, he felt exhausted and ate less fruits, too. I also felt sorry mingling his new gear, so I picked video games in 2 weekends. my son joined me sooner, fought through soon in “Bioshock: infinite” till complete, and proud progress in “L.A Noir”. he needs more pals to play with, while I babbled too much for maintain Royal linkage. in the week bankcomm clearance crew, I mean male dog, lost patience and trying abuse me with my asylum record. the dog even buzzed my kid brother claiming my mental status unstable, but in fact it totally clueless and just aiming provoking my frustration or anger. God dad, release my son’s potential to self-rely, guide him meanings in normal life. bring me sooner my Royal China to integrate Chinese youth’s future commitment with Empire of China in 1109 years ahead. straighten holy road toward sanity and strength. grant us finance independence, my startup’s success as voice of Royal China and merit of democratic China.



{July 25, 2016}   new pray for site growth.

Jul 25, 2016

dreamt communist cadres’ secret entertainment. in my kid brother’s last visit, I led him visited QRRS stadium where once open now furnished lavishly and close to communist cadres, who mostly enjoy sports, party, so on at cost of state budget. I dreamt in a villa 2 mistress, young, beautiful, beast alike entertain their customers, cadres of state owned enterprise. then dreamt in the villa one of founders of PRC, Mao Zedong, enjoying talk with media. I asked after all condemns, triumphs after hard time against ruling party of China, nationalist party, if their is any thanks or obligation to the land and people himself belongs to. He likely prone to refute it before I wake up. these weeks especially busy with monetize my website, adding more amazon ads after max google ads display on my portal sites. I also tried to gain an virtual American debit card through payoneer, an international payment tool. I previously hope I can use it to collect my google adsense earnings and pay my web site cost without need google remits to domestic bank, which charged dearly and delayed heavily by lots of customs procedures. but unfortunately it support Amazon association ad system but incompatible with google’s. what a pity! this month I also inspired by my son, woz’s affection on his watch his mom bought him, cheap one and of poor quality. I felt time for my equipping him a smart watch. so I searched online store like amazon, taobao, and chose a Japanese product, Sony smartwatch 2. for my e-payment domestic as well as digital social web locked down in my credit crisis, I borrowed ¥500 from my acquaintance, a glasses vendor migrate from neighbor province of my hometown, Jiangxi Prov, central China. God, dad, grant us a durable and elegant product we bought discount. cheer up my son and myself with new purchase. this week I felt tired of monetizing my web publish, bless me normal altitude to build up my sites steadily. grant these sites web traffic ever increasing. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain people’s enthusiasm once appeared in PRC revolution, which faked by sinful Atheism. renew eastern Asia with old dream of unity and glory.

Jul 18, 2016

dreamt I as a heir of catholic in latin America, raised by 2nd grand bishop. the highest rank bishop, or pope, more or less jealous and put me into attest. on way to my hometown, my girlfriend and me try the best to respect the pope and cared him individually, also trying settle my heir status. then in my hometown village zhudajiu, my 2nd brother summons his pals to assign agenda. before the outcome of competition I woke up. then dreamt install entertainment system for my son woz. his aunt, my 2nd elder sister, gossips about show business of Chinese politicians, saying the old ruling elite is official acting band, while recent politburo is secondary, for the old one literally does play and practise more. Yesterday we first time recharged our Formosa, a Taiwan restaurant franchise, membership with aid from my kid brother’s loan, since credit crisis. we ate a richer meal there before weekly shower. we also bought extra fruits. my son was soon brought by his mom to his music lesson, and I waited for more than 3 hours, updating his windows, tried video games, till found the sinful small woman tentatively delayed my son and detained him in downtown dining out, prevented us uniting. the bitch revengeful even in path of decease or dissolve. returned to dorm, near dusk, bankcomm clerk buzzed again, trying to launch a surveillance chat. the gay alike communication soon put aside by me and cut off after several minutes later not listening but found still held on air by the bank office. PRC surveillance tried hard to profane me with lame ducks, that’s well perceived tactics. they these days frequently evalue brutal violence against me as last resort to cohere me into silent dead landscape the dictator sickly addictive to. God, dad, baptize me before physical abuse, free me from trap of prison. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain the national pride after my ancestor. bring my new family in new millennium ahead. boost my startup to self-rely.

Jul 15, 2016

Dreamt with my artist friend. His work, a fine paintings just awarded, a scene of shallow space with glitter highlights. I told him my impression of its success, he listened. Then I followed him walked through his life space, ie. school, dorm, etc. he searches for something in different locations, some quite disgustingly messy and dirty. 2 children of his school faculties played in one scene, on a large stone cave and adjacent platform. When I tried hard to climb down from the stone platform to leave with my artist friend, I woke up. These days monetizing my website comes to a end, all job done, even amazon ads quite some cases doesn’t show. I tried to reach help of amazon support but strange errors blocked my posting my problem on its discuss board. I quit with doubts that China surveillance interfered. This week can’t be better with tension relieved by kid brother’s financial help. In months I can again offered a blind man and a mid-aged farmer woman some changes for charity. I also renew subscription of snack on dorm gate vendor. I also renew subscription in a Taiwanese restaurant, Formosa Pie, for weekend reunion with my son. Its badly urgent for all groupon of dining out ran out. In a word, our weekends saved. Bankcomm clearance crew daily buzzed in but they more and more ran out of respect and patience. They abused their privilege to contact client and I will more shut off conversation with the hostile staff. I also tried to reach out on twitter and kickstarter ( https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/gotrus/746383975/share ) to celebrities like Warren Buffet, Musk Elon, Jeff bezos for help surviving my website under sinking PRC’s strangle and debt trap. God, dad, isn’t my business booming? Bring my Royal China to family my girls and offspring, support my new family with base of my website in coming decades. Dad, God, I see clearly space of development of my enterprise, or my Empire of China reset for 1109 years ahead.

Jul 13, 2016

since sinking PRC’s economic free fall in March has been more than a season, my salary card token over by credit administrative authority for near 2 months. I delayed support my son’s living cost and his university deposit plan, his mom’s laundry fee for my weekly shower. QRRS dorm canteen operator woman at first allowed loaning me 2nd month for boarding, but lately shown despise and impatience. bankcomm clearance crew buzzed in daily urging to pay back credit deficit. but these all went unnoticed in my heat to mobilize my website for gains. I informed my hometown relatives my unbalanced situation when my salary almost freezed, they forward helping need to my kid brother who operating a small workshop in southern China and with more running cashes. but my kid brother is a stubborn and arrogant young man. he reckons my financial problem cureless and untrustworthy. we exchanged some bitter words then cut off. till QRRS dorm canteen operator urged me to return their boarding loan for runing shortage, I can barely live under loans and peace. nearby acquaintance like the canteen operator poses a rather harsher threat for my living, for dog rampant northeastern China breeds lots of hate and violence. so I visited my once workplace, QRRS corporate culture department. the director got my mobile number after acknowledged my dangerous situation, promised informing me if his leader board, QRRS HQ, extends me a solution. but the call back never happens. I lives in silent begging meal several days in canteen who urged me 3 more times. then on Sunday Jul 10, 2016, my kid brother flash appeared on my door. he likely informed my son’s mom’s family, except me in his flight tour here. he brought a solution including pay back canteen loan ¥2900 immediately, pay my boarding remote from now on via his wechat, a Chinese mainstream social tool, connected with canteen operator, a debit card of his account shifting to me and cashable ¥1000/monthly. the resolution so charming all the afternoon I felt dizzy, after my kid brother asked my escort to visit my workplace and noded some of my colleagues or cadres of QRRS. he is surely ambitious with his pay power. next day I visited my son who just brought by his mom’s school delegation toured neighbor province resort. I withdrawn ¥500 from my brother’s card and treated my son his favorite Islamic beef after shower. returned to dorm, near dusk, my brother dropped my dorm and invited me to dine out with him. he is showy even in an alien city, which in my view reckless. and more we discussed our world view and political faith, more we dispute and repulsive each other. on taxi back his hotel, we hardly thankful even the healing resolution pack. after 2 moths’ delay, I don’t know if he realizes who is right when crisis aroused and proper loan in time I suggested presight, against stalemate bank penalty now mounts to near ¥900/month.
God, dad, I’m no doubt vested kingdom of China of 1109 years ahead under the Son, my title. but can’t our sibling share more common views on our ancestor’s land? God, dad I now saw promised salvage peacefully in position. isn’t it a cause for celebration in the summer? thx, dad, God, all these beautiful sunshine and breeze among tension and relief.
here photo of his last night dinner. for he arrogantly unfriended camera, his photo seemingly slightly ugly.
my kid brother's last night dinner in Qiqihar with a helping financial pack. for he arrogantly unfriended cameraman, his photo seemingly slightly ugly.
my kid brother’s last night dinner in Qiqihar with a helping financial pack. for he arrogantly despised cameraman, his photo seemingly slightly ugly. #God #AsohYukiko #dream #life #love



{July 8, 2016}   sure thing among debt.

Jul 8, 2016

dreamt to marry a minor tribe girl. the girl’s family likely lives in mountainous southwestern China. according to their custom, first daughter will never marry but as heiress of family and move to second daughter’s marriage as escort. I’m happy with the marriage and in the eve of wedding ceremony I talked with my brother-in-law near a campfire while eating. I let him not to allow fire wind licks my woollen shirt while I sat closely around the fire. then my past dad passed away, he unhappy my casual but insecure way near fire. he gazed me with anger then I woke up. my fiance is the second daughter of the family which has 3 daughters. and she is likely tall, thin and beautiful. yesterday bankcomm again buzzed in and talked detailedly about my family, my finance. she got my son’s mom’s, and my kid brother’s mobile number. the dorm canteen operator also inquired how is their loan of boarding and urged they in short of cash. in the night I busy with fix typo among my sites on my wiki page. after settled it time to bed. I surfed awhile then went to bed. on bed I deeply frustrated by urged by nearby acquaintance. the operator family long time has a different tradition or culture I reckon sinful from mine. they not only hurry me to pay back their loan but also attempted blocking my boarding there. without boarding and with my frozen salary by PRC’s credit administration, I will starve. the once workplace, QRRS, likely adopted a stance not to intervene. my financial crisis roots in poor salary which below ¥2000 decades. my living expense is the amount and bank commision now rises to near that amount again. God, dad, where is the way to survive the adversity the sinking PRC, the theft of my vested Empire of China, setup? how to fund my startup for China democracy and Royal of China? dad God, help me in the darkened nightmare and threatened living. bring me my Royal China, my always gospel, my crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to shine over my troubled pool of finance. bring me peace in building up my kingdom of plenty and prosperous miles after miles. after all God, dad, I in faith of you and vow to follow the glorious path on the soverein in eastern Asia.

Jul 5, 2016

in dawn dream I with my son, woz, made a huge package each under PRC’s surveillance against adversity. woz’s even bigger than mine. last Friday the dorm canteen operator demanded me returning their loan of boarding for they in short of cash. I have no way but my work place to seek last help. so I visited my once department leader, now assistant manager of QRRS, and discussed my unbalanced situation. he asked for my mobile and promised informing me if his leader board has any solution extends to me. returned to dorm, bankcomm clerk woman buzzed in. I talked about my housing public fund which intact in accumulation so far. I suggested her to elaborate that source with my workplace leader. last Saturday afternoon I brought my son watched “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)” and we both satisfied. his mom tentatively arranged my son’s schedule too pushy to allow us dwelling more together. my son’s mobile, a nexus, very specifically target hacked, disabled vpn, google play store and revealed messenger. I also lost temper upon my son’s loose management over security. but God dad, isn’t they can’t afford their losing and barked louder now to upset us? the sinking PRC surveillance, the dog system, from start to end is a failure. they boast their triumph, times and times targeted my son’s computers, they in fact chasing its own tail like mad dog. God, dad, I was aging and hostile in my circumstance alerts me of hidden dangers or revenge of nobody. God, dad, I wouldn’t exit with regret. for glory of Son I will bring about, for Empire of China reset ahead of 1109 years, I will stride to explore till shiny holy paved. dad God, grant me freedom of financial independence. bring me my Royal China to tip turn the sinking PRC dictation , and freaky atheism worship now insaner and mortaler. let my cyber startup booms.

Jun 27, 2016

Dreamt of 2nd son of my 2nd brother sick, his brain grows out of skull. Then dreamt bank clearance clerk and cops visited my house, scan my documents, tool box, all stuff about my entrepreneur. My once workplace, QRRS cable TV branch, its most crews gathered likely with subpoena. Some of them suggested me handover my most recent and cherished tool box. I admit and suggested the searching clerk about the toolbox but found the toolbox missing. Then I out of rage and burst in angers. Its raining and likely in my hometown village, Zhudajiu. I also during the investigation doubting add a TOS, Term of Service onto my websites from template my site’s dynamic backend web app offers. My nephew appears again trying to calm me, with his illness. Last weekend bankcomm.com clearance clerk informed me 3 times before shift my case to its law enforcement department after I admit unable to pay after 3 months. They tried best to prevent it by persuading me to gather the amount, about ¥3000, to hand in time. But I really sick to beg my alumni, my relatives again after these 3 months my finance fell in trouble and lots of survival clinch bank devised. The bankcomm soon buzzed my relatives, including my 3rd elder sister then forward to kid brother, a foolish and mean man with his startup, and my son woz. I got the phone to my son on the bus to dine out after shower. I debated my situation with the clerk woman and still felt innocent and of integrity. My son dislikes my trouble and urged me leave him alone soon after we returned to his mom’s house, where we ate melon with newly handover fruit subscription barely from my kid brother’s just arrived loan, ¥300 in addition ¥100 cellphone recharge, with which woz’s glasses also replaced as planned years ago and his mom with her mom refused to loan 400rmb even guaranteed by woz’s lunar new year’s received gift money ¥900 from my old family hometown took over by the bitch at once after our 2nd flight tour to southern China in Feb 2016, and woz’s alipay leftover recent years I gifted him but frozen temporarily by PRC policy over my credit crisis, resulted in burst of anger and hate each sides. In dorm the possible encountering cops and law enforcement staff from bank haunted my mind while I started reading. Later I jogged as usual. This morning I napped all the morning, for last night my son, woz ported a night in my dorm and too small bed let me lack of sleep. Dad God, we have faith in your salvage after all. Grant me independent finance and focus in my cyberspace startup. Bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain the bright future of young Chinese, as well as due respect of adults in sinking PRC. Thx for the holy affirmative and sunny summer sky since yesterday.

Jun 25, 2016

dreamt of uncle passed in my teenage. Its a sunny morning, but in dawn dream I first time dreamt my dad’s youngest brother who deceased in his 40 or 50s’. my dad’s eldest brother, a long time admirer of my dad’s marriage and family together even we were poorer, also appeared in the village, ie outside of uncle’s house. they entrusted me to find their workplace, a factory. I tried to digitalize manually drawn map, and also google map and searched both for location of their work unit and their concerned persons. its a bit weird for I never dreamt my uncle before. but God, dad, I in holy didn’t believe in ghost. this morning my salary officially freezed. I have to live with bare hands. the canteen didn’t show refusal but reserved. I will have to borrow to pay mobile fee. my weekends reunion with my son will only support one meal in 2 days, and the only meal on Sunday will also endangered. meanwhile my world web access turns stable after 3 or more showily hackings from PRC dictative curtain. dad God, the credit crisis really draining me, buffet my mood of living happy. I took challenge, took investment, took entrepreneur in recent years, but I now eagerer to land safely and home. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to guard my family and offspring, guarant Chinese to independent and China from totally collapse, like Mideastern Arab’s wasteland. grant me freedom of financial independence, grant my Empire glory of plenty to be creative and magnitude social factors coexist and supportive.



Jun 20, 2016

dreamt in our family’s cabin. we had a party, inc my niece and guest girls. then a guy spied us and joined our shuttercock game. we together beat the guy till he confessed his role. its late night, then we found in another room of the cabin, my niece lonely slept and fears darkness. then we sorry and visited her as companions. we competed with poems, including my nephews, for the peaceful night. yesterday I had good time with my son. since last week I warned him pedophobia he now loathed to hear my babbles, for my warn likely put his mightiness in constrain. but he is so selfless and soon accepted my companion again. I fed him with his favorite Chinese franchise restaurant, Seejoys dunplings, where I only have less than ¥50 in purse and constantly afraid of can’t pay our bill there. next day, Sunday we dined Japanese cuisine whose bill paid by our subscription digitally. after shower I escorted him all the afternoon now that his mom not at home, till the grandma prepared supper. I complained boring after we tried video games and waiting for downloading. then I massaged woz, whose neck and back under heavy usage in his frequent android gaming and my concern to keep its resilient. my son more or less enjoys it. after that I tried ice bag we recently ordered online for cooling our legacy game notebook and works perfect, we applied it on woz’s neck, head. later he wrote awhile his homework and I continued trying to sell the ice treatment. after returned to dorm, I busy restored my os which damaged by China surveillance, first time it tentatively disabled my vpn and forced me rebuilding it. the iron curtain previously constantly broke in but maintained my world web accessible. but they never gave up blocking my son browsing western video websites. God, dad, grant my son richer entertainment, esp overseas movies and TVs. forever win us broader access of world democracy and its media, esp google and twitter, etc, to ensure our source of sound news and judgement. help me cope my credit crisis with triumph, help my cyberspace startup succeeds.

Jun 18, 2016

yesterday dreamt snakes everywhere around me. this dawn dreamt borrow books from my 2nd elder brother and sister. then found in a month I will graduate and without job. so I go to Lhasa to work. but there my nephew, ie. first son of my 2nd elder sister and his son and other relatives electronic sucked and lots of panic, including some of evilous students I found from those paid my son’s mom to receive her tuition at her house when I visited son. at last I tried to rescue my relatives and entered the electrified room, consulted nearby kids about safe spots, jumped and trying to reach lever to cut down leaking power then woke up. this week a bit busy, upgrading my son’s intel nuc with new and larger ssd bought by my supportive credit card from PSBC even in credit crisis. China surveillance heavily attacked me when I prepare clean OS and backup on it. they desperate broke the minipc and blocked my son from enjoy American movies and videos through VPN I prepared. each time within a week after my clean built they ruin the encrypted tunnel, make youtube and amazon video inaccessible. and this month my once and long time employer, QRRS, likely busier with orders. my purse almost empty but now new salary would improve it and better. credit card issuer bank buzzed but now we are more polite, except PSBC didn’t call in so far, on air. and some of them threatened shift me to its law enforcement department but yet happened. but the dorm canteen operator who lent me boarding before my promised pay, turns complainful. last night a heavy rain loudly sang when I bought dine out groupon by PSBC credit online. its just so blessing, so I dropped my son a phone even I doubt if its too late around 9pm. but he is agile to pick the phone, as holy affirmed. this noon I will reunite him in champion of new availability of entertainment. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to host my family. bring lifestyle we enjoyed so far. help me alleviate credit crisis in this month salary. grant us happy weekends every week.

Jun 10, 2016

dreamt in campus with my Nankai Univ alumni again in practice lesson. I lost track when team launched. on half way I met some kids, I rewarded some coins to a smart boy. when I caught up with the team, they were leaving. I confused why these physics lessons so hard to learn and discussed my problem with others, like ballistic track, pounding force, etc. some of my alumni told me and I gradually grasped it, for human have right to know what’s going on in their life. so science sometimes knows as curious as fun, doesn’t always mean to change courses, to fix something, but it tells truth even boring truth. I met lots of classmates including girls when I arrived the camp. on farewell party I suggested a toast and lots of biddings echo from my classmates then I woke up. a rain in dawn turns clear even in my dream. its a mid size rain, raindrops make happy rhythm like my hometown central China summer rains. last night I first intended to suffer starvation with the only noodle meal, for my only have 30rmb in purse. near 9pm, hunger let me blue, I tried to shift focus from it but failed. then I gave in and intended to watch and dine out my son today, for according PRC calendar the Sunday will be a workday. I will have to shower on Saturday rather than usual Sunday lest my son has no vacation to do it for schooling. then I relieved and ate a candy I prepared for my son’s visit. later hunger even urgent and I had to cost ¥5 for a street vendor snack nearby in the night. God, dad, when is we in no want? when our enjoyed lifestyle makes us heartedly settled? bring me sooner my Royal China to host my guests and under Holy glory of plenty we cheer up. grant me my cyber startup booming and credit as safe and likes a breeze.

Jun 9, 2016

lunar dragon boat day holiday slides in before my notice. this morning missed canteen breakfast among dreams and naps in early wakeup, or the dorm canteen already closed service in holiday like usual. in boring morning I felt all world pales out in others’ celebration, left me alone and lonely. I felt cold and napped in quilt for warmth. near noon I ate noodles in nearby restaurant after found canteen out of service. the sunshine is faultlessly bright, but it a bit too stinging for sunbath. I missed my son very much but decided follow Christian calendar to reunite him in weekends, ie day after yesterday, and for the sake of my poor wallet, which left no more than ¥30. this week my credit card issuer bank buzzed several times, and I promised CCB whose clearance clerk woman quite sincere that I will pay it first with this month salary. bankcomm confirmed my unable to pay in time more than 3 times, likely will adopt next phrase operation to secure its property. PSBC still helping me with its credit, allowing me to buy what I need, like SSD harddisk and other item online, but its clearance clerk man too coarse to handle, just cursed me times and times likely repulses me with disgusting or maltreatment. in the afternoon I napped again to avoid boringness, I dreamt my shared workplace visited by 2 pals of my colleague, likely one of my Nankai Univ alumnus now lives in Canada, or the youngest son of my uncle, who both tall and bigger build. they invited me to name their company and trying using office computer to find solution. I was a bit afraid them using my computer, so I tried in mess and harsh to logout my computer but can’t find keyboard in piles of paperworks prompt. then I suddenly shout out my answer, Tian’an in Chinese, totally safe or heavenly safe. my alumnus approached me to cheer up before I woke up. its sunny now outside. with classic music rather than podcast recently I listened more on google play I felt in right mood under bliss. God, dad, my income shortage now weights me down. I saw in decades my earnings from my blog and websites hardly supports lifestyle we enjoyed so far including my son since powered by credit card. dad, God, only your Mightiness covers our incomplete of life support. grant us freedom of financial independence. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain the brilliant way ahead. boost my web presence and traffic that means. catalyze my cyberspace startup to success. dad, I’m so complacent with my web assets. secure them and let it deserve our effort to bring it out.

Jun 3, 2016

in dawn dream reviewed my passed mother helped my aunt’s last child with her 2nd husband preparing his wedding ceremony. I regarded the 2nd husband humiliated my dad and hostile toward my dad and our family’s success. but my mother always tried her best shown her hospitality to the man and my uncle who admired her. my mother likely hurt my dad much with her charm unselective and spare no expense. I was asked to join the wedding ceremony in my summer vacation and according customs carried bride’s gift to fiance’s family with other young relatives in our old family. on way a steep wet slope a heavy truck almost can’t brake itself and dangerously slip downward and almost brought me down. I narrowly escaped the truck with load of gifts and many years after I thought its a holy salvage. the marriage didn’t last 3 years and the wife left. my mother just can’t trust her husband and fought with all her resources in her interest. then dreamt I made 3 portable devices for data mobility. the design so effective that I intended to shift to my son. this week began with idling then gradually engaged. yahoo informed me to logon to keep account active. when logon it require verification from backup mailbox, ie. google account. in the process quite some of zhone google accounts suspended for suspicious activities, likely PRC backed hacking. I tried several means to report to google, which likely doesn’t support human individual handling, but machinary rules. but 3 days later, last night my accounts unlocked and I rearranged them as planned. its such champion like a breeze, I sang for the heroic giant public company. this week my credit card issuer bank buzzed 3 or more occasions, we agreed to shift my unable to pay back to next phrase, even I don’t know what will be. my youngest elder sister offered me ¥500 and I used it for weekend reuniting my son, ie. dining out, and my medicine. I also tried to reach out to my teenage friend, now works in college, but in vain. the teacher felt guilty upon his empty hand and tried to assign me in some agenda to whitewash remnant of his redemption. God, dad, life here runs deeper now. let’s enjoy peace of everyday. bring me sooner my Royal China to host my guests. bring me glory of Son. grant me independent finance in my startup. thx for the descending summer heat.



May 26, 2016

dreamt of students protest and negotiation. after woz 11 years birthday gathering, last night I slept deep. dreamt likely in Peking Univ I gathered support students and went strike against ruling authority. my passed mother likely there cooked for canteen and listening my appeal for student’s right which is vivid in dream but after breakfast untraceable. yesterday I finally told dorm canteen operator that my salary freezed by bank and I penniless. she admitted my loan for boarding. my support son’s living cost also cancelled, his mom already informed by me when she inquired how I will handle the loan crisis last Sunday, but even worse, I unable to hand over son’s educational plan deposit, 200rmb/monthly as promised. she refused joining celebration I prepared for woz’s 11 years birthday. locked herself in bedroom with her mother. I let my son waited for his mom return from her workplace is a waste. when kindles in position on cake by my son, we ran out of match, nor lighter. I previously intended asking son’s mom to live cast the party via twitter’s periscope but in reality I had to using woz’s nexus cellphone live stream on our own. its aweful clumsy but at least its our first live show. I quickly left my son after the reporting, in the air of contemptuous the evil woman casted upon us. in the night I published our video of the cake party, our monologue. its a chill summer, now its cloudy again in the morning. but its far from clueless. God, dad, bring us lifestyle we enjoy. grant me financial independence, esp supportive for my son’s teenage. bring me my Royal China and my new family to save the broken and sinking PRC in its shrink of deterioration. prepare me for greater event in my life.

May 25, 2016

first dreamt I have extra flesh loosely attached around edge of my feet. I carefully cut them off and my 2nd brother found worms in it. I watched it and saw 2 worms alive and my brother claim he saw more much smaller I didn’t see. then I thought now that I long time can’t gain my master degree in campus I should consider a job for living. I reckoned teaching English and perfect my language skill as mean. my niece asked me shift my tool, a picker to her, I admitted but loathed. then the ground floor of the building, an office of editors of a publish house, full with staff lately returned. when I retreated, I saw a guy on way and though him too poor, so I intended to offer him ¥5 in charity. but the guy shamelessly chased after me and impatiently peeking my purse and attempted using his picker like thief to take bill from it. I took too long to find ¥5 bill and enough by the harassment of the guy and canceled my offer. by a shallowly underground well, some woman murmured what a pity, seemingly I lost a chance to gain from my last kindness. I thought they know something I don’t know but too many possibilities or conspirations led me indecisive and woke up. previously in dawn dream I painted and let my artist friends, esp. Tibet artist Benba Chungdak, check it. he likely respects it. this month my salary reached a historic low at ¥1468, which even can’t cover our living expense, ie. my son and myself. I have anticipated it restored to normal, around 3000rmb, so hard. God, dad, what’s the hell ahead for falling with sinking PRC, poverty and beyond protection of social welfare or civil war’s cannon fodder? dad, God, what challenge I was set in? bring me sooner my Royal China for the salvage. bring me painless through adversity currectly emcompasses me. remove the crucifixion the Son reraised from. I with happiness with the Holy in the unprecedented glory.

May 20, 2016

dreamt of social motivation. in dawn dream I was in team to allocate social resources. I assign reward/award for every personel enrolled, encode frequent used amount into quantity unit, embed short code replacing frequently used long terms like compression in propaganda slogans, which includes Zhao Benshang’s northeastern Chinese folk ballad, 二人转. civil war’s fog topmost heavy in the dream, we do our best to prepare for it. my old family’s enemy, the second husband of my aunt and his offspring, one of them is our neighbor in hometown village Zhudajiu, tempted me comment on his youngest brother’s performance, I said he is kind and popular. my passed mother in dream then asked me about myself, I said anyone knows me respects me. the enemy agreed. my mother glad upon my reputation. the dream is very clear and I needn’t hurry to blog after I woke up. this week I mostly peacefully enjoy silence before change. I watched more movies online, esp love stories which remind me of my broken love in Nankai Univ with a tall Chinese girl collegian, and faultless escort of my crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, when she studies abroad with us. I also bathed more in noon sunshine now that summer weather gradually steps in. Qiqihar this summer peculiarly cold among world report of increased temperature most places on the earth. last night I watched a Japanese episode, life in additional time. first episode about a youth values vocation more important than family and died on site and regret for his family he even didn’t know still loving him. second about common family how hard to find a better commodity like a richer meal in routine life. the good wife risk her life to bring a beef meal for her family before her decrease on rush road for discount meat. that reminds me of my burden in my trying best to support my son a better life so far, lends us to credit deficit. but I don’t regret, and only Christian saves China and Japan. only YHWH blesses world of no shortage but plenty and glory in plenty. out of him poverty and chaos breeds like rats and murders like norm, esp. in Buddhism, confucianism and Islamism, in Asia and Africa. God, dad, thanks for the holy sign of rejoice. grant us a peaceful reunion this afternoon when I dine out my son grill mutton. dad, God, grant me more agile growth in my cyberspace existence. bring me my Royal China and its outline from distant view when I moulding Empire of China. fill my heart with love and brave. thx for the summer morning, God.

May 15, 2016

dreamt of summit. yesterday is exhausting for me after reunited with my son, woz, my most concerned. I told him my new source of confidence, new strategy to cope current hard finance. I brought him dine out with Islamic cuisine with which I again groupon and paid by my credit digitally, our favorite mean of dining out but forgiven this year for credit crisis and slump economy. my son less surprised but maintained acknowledged. I also tried to prepare his smart TV with more functions the android os powered. in dorm in the dawn I dreamt assigned to write speech for boss who will lecture on the summit. I managed separate headline and body of the speech, embed my family domains’ site each part, for more appearance of zhone cyberspace existence. when the summit gathered, the keynote didn’t take place, I only saw the labor union chairman of QRRS, a guy almost same period enrolled by the SOE and more or less acquaintance. I watched far from the hot circle of audience among the party and some QRRS staff playful with me nearby. we gradually retreated upstairs and I woke up lately. I don’t know why I felt so sleepy, but I now have more time to sleep while my whole business stable and in early stage which means more patience. I likely wouldn’t find myself another job to make a living, for I resolved to sit and dwelt with hardest situation in sinking PRC, my vested kingdom. I needn’t another option to flee from my people, my land which so fertile and sustaining. I have vocation and proud of it, which is not weak one nor too feeble prone to protection of peer stable source of feed. I don’t need a second occupation for sacrifice in my main concern, my kingdom and cyberspace startup. that’s my rebirth of confidence from void in wane of hardness these weeks. God, dad, save my nation from broken, save us from starving and scatter of exile. grant me regal life with my son, my girls I entreated so far online. bring me life style we enjoy so far, remove my debt burden step by step when beholding my enterprise online. dad, God, help me live healthy and resilient in my mid-age.

watchwoz 11 years birthday video online

or https://youtu.be/dSJNS8yCMb4

https://youtu.be/fQVEUagAaTM

https://www.periscope.tv/w/1gqxvARDdzqJB

#God #AsohYukiko #dream #life #love



May 7, 2016

dreamt first about resort in farming field to treat insomnia. my once colleague in QRRS, Chi, a shameless bureaucracy career chaser, also in the farm resort and likely surveillance me. then dream being a rebellion, with his 2 comrades, one titled cloud blade, äºé in Chinese, one titled period blade, èé in chinese. the latter likely betrayed to and murdered by our enemies. I with cloud blade probing the missing of our comrade, among risky mob of rebellions and counter rebellions. its a pale morning since last drizzling night. I missed 2 breakfasts and kept awake earlier not to miss it again. yesterday PSBC local branch buzzed again that its his last call before possible seizure of my salary card if I unable return credit deficit in time in last chance. if so, I would have to make a living alone beside salary offered by my once and long time employer, QRRS, an old style SOE, whose poor salary forces me to loan and miserable. I yet configured the ethic aspect of my financial status, but likely change occurs now, for surviving myself and my son. finding a job always daunting challenge for me, used to be casual and common. lower salary or lower skill intensified, that’s likely a balance I will strike. God, its not easy for a man in his near 50s to be relocated. grant us life we enjoy so far. grant us balance between personal achievement and social contribution. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to boast sinking PRC. bring me affordable entrepreneur for better life and time management.

May 1, 2016

dreamt of Islamic woman and fantastic scene. yesterday dinned in a Islamic restaurant we haunted a lot and where I especially amazed by the hostess by her exotic beauty. in dawn dream I with the woman on a giant dam control unit and watching huge flow. I then on guestbook chose a heroic name as my name. then in a comic movies scene I chatted with female partner and experienced adventure. I again chose a historic name as my signature. I tried to blog but its too cold to open my pc right the moment after woke up. I napped again and in dream I wording details for blog in dawn time. when I actually started to blog on my chromebook half put on, most memories gone. last week busy with reinstall os on wozâs 2 pcs which lagging and likely hacked by government of PRC. lots of data, esp. online games, await to restore before we enjoy the fruit of a cleaner system. one of my credit card issuer, ICBC, warned of possible freeze my salary card before I fully return its credit due. I reported danger of the scenario to my hometown relatives, ie. my elder brothers. they likely mobilized to try to help, but so far result unknown. I badly need ï¿¥9000 injecting to my bad debt to re-enable currency of my credits quota and living cost, while my relatives insisted disabled all my credit card forever, for they donât want to respond with my debt, esp credit anymore. I love my credit card, my websites online. they engage me with workload and manageable. God dad, please allow me cultivate on my vested land. allow me grow vegetables in my backyard. Iâm now in my prime light while aging makes daily work more definitive personally. rid me off anxiousness of living expense, focus me on building and expanding cyberspace reality under Holy affirmative. bring me sooner my Royal China for the better China Empire in 1109 years ahead. bring me my girls and offspring thatâs vital for my destiny.

Apr 24, 2016

dream of my new wedding ceremony. my passed parents prepared me for new marriage. my 2nd elder brother trusted to manage custom and celebration team from the village, Zhudajiu. I saw my parents-in-law, my fiance, who is shy free and visited us the night before rite. I saw clear I never saw here. last week banks’ call for returning credit deficit were frequent. I buzzed my 2nd brother, kid brother and 2nd sister. my kid brother, likely the only one who affordable to help, always felt frustrated upon my conversation or appeal, refuted me 2 times, but finally called me back last Saturday. he got all my credit card number, likely trying to cancel them. he said banks’ call disrupted him a lot and can’t bear it without actively dealt my problem. God, no matter how large the problem, I always look my business bright in the end. but I really don’t know how to return the Â¥70000 in my so pinched situation. this month my salary in 3 serie months as low as Â¥1800. I had to borrow to live up. my son woz last Friday night visited my dorm. we ate grilled mutton as scheduled. I don’t feel like to put him in panic of economic slump. he more and more silent upon my trying insistent life we deserve. God, dad, I want get through hardness alone, with hope and prayer. God, I’m confident my debt, Â¥75000, is not a big sin. help me re-revifying it. this spring chill lingers, and put my dorm quite uncomfortable. bring me sooner summer heat with life we enjoy. bring me sooner my Royal China for grace. save Japan from earthquake suffering, save my crowned Queen, Asoh Yukiko, and show us the union fastenes our 2 nations in close eastern Asia.

Apr 17, 2016

dreamt of my once brother-in-law. this week I restored my 3 dynamic sites powered by web apps. cleaning data costs some time, but godaddy’s cpanel quite helpful and setup quickly. yesterday I demonstrated my work to my son, woz, Hope of China, and confessed how I love my own hut of commmunication, my own publication like the website. this dawn I dreamt visiting my passed eldest sister’s house. my eldest sister commited suicide in her prime time, likely after long time disharmonious with her husband. I love my sister very much and my old family in debt of my sister for her marriage with a worker which life much easier than our in early hardest time of PRC. I dreamt my siblings gathered to visit my eldest sister’s house. on a fork road stop we reach her house, we met our brother-in-law, a widow then in dream and re-familied in reality, trying repair his tricycle. his son, my cousin grew up his teenage in my old family after his mother’s passed by and under my parents’ custody with his younger sister, offer a silent helping hand in the house and delayed there after most of my siblings left for his mom. I tried to blog after got up but memory scattered and I napped again. then dreamt I was forbiddened to communicate with the brother-in-law, but get a “matb” certificate of permission to create access with the past. I also dreamt I on my website considering published a worker’s poems. he is an employee of my once workplace, QRRS. his poems mostly old styled and mirrors PRC old custom. I likely then attending a site owners’ seminar. last week PSBC bank urged me to return overdrawl of my credit card. I contacted my senior middle school alumni and one of them offered me Â¥1000. even I badly need Â¥5000 to facilate fluit of my credit, I can’t blame my alumnus’ poor kindness. I hope step by step break barrier of locked credit. God dad, my web site, esp powered by database and web apps, is my contribution to the world voices. pl help me maintain it and let it booms. grant me renew my hosting plan graceful and reasonablly secured duration. grant us the cosy workspace we enjoy now. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls and my offspring in time. dad, let my dearest eldest sister stays in my heart and forever in love. let the coming history witnesses the blessing her concerned.



{April 8, 2016}   would rather not let loose.

Apr 8, 2016

So I napped again after a sandstorm noon. I dreamt using water as fuel and a pair of light wings. I flied over a slop and carefully calculated fuel consuming. on the hill of my hometown, I finally ran out of water fuel and woke up. in the past week banks called me several times but now less burning. I hope my business outruns the ever accumulating profit in addition principal in a decade. this week financial hardness embarrassed me so miserable that sometimes humbled me to bite, esp occasionally an old cop near retired age ate his rich lunch in dorm canteen with his pal in canteen. after restored hope of life, my dinners in canteen even delicious since then, from complain of loan from its operating woman. this week my restoring dynamic sites also makes proud progress. backup partially imported to new database, and fresh web apps targeting new domains tried and satisfying. our new site gathers thin traffic but God, plenty of holy world, let me feel capable of the online presence now and then. my own especially glad to see these beautiful huts of interactive, of hospitality, of service, regardless sunshine nor turbulence. they will be history and morality, will be testimony of holy commitment. previously I tried hard to build them on google infrastructure, but now financial situation hardly support it, and compatibility with php less satisfying. now I found cheaper hosting at godaddy. and free hosting at byet.host. God, dad, let the freedom of cyberspace persistent, let the internet affordable forever. above all of them, I gladful upon hardware upgrade last year I pushed recklessly. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China to foster good world closing the sinking PRC, bring me sooner my children, my girls with whom I prayed so long online. in coming salary pl allow me to alleviate more or less my credit overdraw burden. grant us purchase power among my dear credit cards. thx, dad, in this chill afternoon.
Photo Description: woz, Hope of China, has painting lesson arranged by his mom. here his talent artwork in early stage.

Apr 5, 2016

dreamt first time of youth friend, Qiuxiaolin. yesterday I napped several times but still today felt exhausted. after canteen breakfast I satisfied and napped. I dreamt Qiu xiaolin, my Nankai alumnus and close friend of literature, visited me in my hometown. some neighbor kids, Zhudehua, Zhuhongying, etc, played our pingpang ball. sometimes they asked my judge for who can play. I told them there are several balls and enough for them. Qiu must discuss our favorite literature and also relaxed with kids and fun. I had 2 friends in campus. one is Qiu, another is BianbaQingda, Tibetan artist I never contacted soon after I stepped into my empirical career in QRRS. that’s nearly 20 years ago. Qiu is now likely a professor in his hometown, southwestern China. Bianba’s paintings getting gallery public and must also return to his hometown, Lasha. and that’s all I knew. they have my best wishes. yesterday is lunar mourning day, dorm canteen out of service again. I ate KFC breakfast and a cheap but consolidate lunch. the additional cost made my reserve for reunite son in weekends in April turns even poorer. God dad, grant me freedom of living dignity. empower me rent hosting service online for my business on the earth in holy affirmative. bring me sooner my Royal China to enlighten the eastern sky. thx for peaceful moment of nap and crisp air after last dusk drizzle.

Apr 4, 2016

dreamt of my Nankai schoolmates visited my house in their study. last Saturday I worked overnight to install ubuntu on my son’s computer which frequently hacked by China surveillance. so this morning I napped. in dream when I returned to my house likely also my woz’s mom’s, to my surprise, all my Nankai alumni there resting, playing card, chatting, etc in their travel, just like when we studied in campus. they likely in their 2nd field practice except without me who is old and trying hard to make a living. I saw Chenxinjian, Chengfeng I recently contacted for help, also saw Muyunhe, Wangyanping, alumna whose comment is acid and sharp, saying I getting old. they all settled in my house at home. this month my salary in serial was around ¥2000 while my living cost for my son and my own is that amount and additionally bank charges ¥1000 for my credit overdrawal. in frequent banks calls, I felt more or less burnout. I contacted some of my senior middle school alumni for help. most of them evade me, but a promising guy, our once unbeatable academic score champion and financial institution crew since graduation, acquainted my hardness. last Sunday reunite woz, my dearest son, Hope of China, is quite warm memory now. we dined rich, played games heartedly, chatted on profound far sighted topics. upon my shortage I offered him 2 options, less visit or dine cheaper, he chose the latter, which made me prouder. its sunny spring now, fine weather these 2 days encourages me putting on my best clothes. God’s mercy, my nephew, elder son of my dearest youngest elder sister, who operates an online clothes shop, prepared me some alternatives. God, dad, my life so far is enjoyable. pl don’t deprive our leisure and pleasure in the moulding of our Empire of China of 1109 years ahead. only living happy deserves our vested kingdom. pl help me step by step relieve my burden of bank loan, and grant us of purchasing power continuous. thx dad, bring me sooner my girls when we matter each other. enliven me by my children I breed and attend full heart. thx for this silent morning after KFC breakfast.

Mar 21, 2016

dreamt of international cargo. in dawn dream, I prepared my packages to Sweden where I will study. on half way I found my packages missing. then found I mispelled and hijacked by malware. on half way where there is crowd watching soccer world champion, I miserable search all hijacked packages’ label and corrected them to my designated destiny while maintained hijacked address untouched but move it to lower propriety for forensic and wouldn’t executed for trial and test. then in remote country I possibly waiting for the only missing package uncorrected, and doubting if its a serial compression in which missing a member package will ruin all others, or all independent compressed packages in which missing one will only affect itself content. the dream likely an echo of what I saw last night I returned from visiting my son. on the bus stop I noticed railway station setup its cargo handling office where previously rented to 3rd party business likely small hotel, etc. its likely now has their business booming and office restored. I saw 2 young couples leaving from the office and likely they fetched their cargo. I enjoyed online shopping last year so much. now the PRC government installed higher tariff trying smoother overseas purchases booming among Chinese middle class. its a whole pack aiming prevent Chinese better informed shifting from poor Chinese quality to world including political, life, society, ethic all aspects. dictative PRC attempting stop losing customers inland by monopolize their poor official offer like north Korea where people lame generations and generations of prey. how I cherish overseas purchases last year and cozy of online shoppings which now almost impossible under my current hard financial situation. God dad, PRC sinking dictation want harness domestic consuming boost economy and employment while never afford losing control on market, the most important role in industrialized production chain, and through which American people and world economy help China in past decades so much to allow diligent Chinese labors, mostly peasants engaged full fledged and improved their lives nonstop in more than 40 years. the ccp is a bitch, grace never sheds light in its stoned heart, and relentlessly sinking China with it when times ditching them with their poor quality and means of troublemaking. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China and my beloved children, my queens for peace and pleasure of now. please ease my credit deficit and allow me shopping online as usual. in the coming salary allow me make use to alleviate my debt burden more or less.



Mar 17,2016

dreamt of once enemy in old work place. these days daunted by difficulty in setup web apps on google app engine, I rested myself and enjoy reading online more routinely. it can be boring and I napped after noons. this noon nap I dreamt with my son fought against punishment in game in which I trid to gain network administrator job while the cable TV network equipment exporter company from Beijing teased me with my QRRS cable TV director, with whome the battle since put me jobless. they disliked me and blocked me with quizs. I also dreamt of my Nankai alumni with whom I begged help before my 2nd flight tour with my son, in bank’s urgency to confirm credit positive, and informed with my cyberspace brand searchable. in weeks my domestic blogs at lofter.com cencored. he likely a part of PRC surveillance, and likely by his effects my custom domains with lofter.com all removed, blogs’ access resumed after near a week’s prohibition. in the dream I also saw why once colleague in QRRS cable TV, assigned accountant still prefered spreadsheet, excel, to automatic database software I long suggested, to manage customer’s fee. he might co-operated with the director using primitive tool to obtain more control on departmental sales for their profits steathily. recently I dreamt my son more occasions and sometimes in sexual dreams I even can’t defferentiate him from my beloved girls. that reminds me my sins of being single so long and female around fondless. God dad, I never stopped praying for my true love, my beautiful girls I called upon my blog so long. I admire young girl in time for marriage so long anytime I perceive with my eyes daylight. grant me Asoh Yukiko, my TW girl, girl Lyu, with whom I still in profound aspiration. grant me new family and more children. God dad, I don’t compete with anyone for offspring, like most Chinese and Arab do, but I feel 3 or 4 children will prefect me and nature. dad, this world, our family duty under oath to Holy, makes it necessary to maintain the Royal prosperous. help me achieve the sweet task I won’t gave up before destiny. lower my deficit to bank and enable their purchase power. God, help me enjoy the cosy of dynamic website, free my frustrations during building on google computing infrastructure.

Mar 13,2016

returned from abruption. nearly a month after our 2nd flight tour I busy with restoring my work space and our dynamic sites. this morning I slept sound and dreamt of my passed mother. in first phrase I dreamt of windows’ encryption. I found myself among Hubei Province folks busy with building its provincial hall. on the roof unfinished, I found windows encryption is a system function that can be called anytime, not likely previously presumably through compressing password encrypted. one of my Huanggang alumni, Huang Linzhong, stood under the building site and talked with me. then dreamt with my son and my mother in hometown village. I bought my son a huge ice stick which almost as big as my son. he likes it and enjoyed it on way and somewhat dirt coats it for too large to hold. passed month I was so busy, several overnights on system restore that made my ear vulnerable and painful. through the process I quite familiar with windows setup via hard disk, with aid of windows pe environment. Google is an indispensable helping tool for problem solving. with it I safely assert here that English world community’s informative quality much better than Chinese counterpart. China surveillance no doubt interfered amid my efforts, but God’s bliss lifts me from trouble and hopelessness. these days they even targeting my only pleasure in night, English TV programs. I have 3 days apart from my favorite episodes due to media delivers too lagging. they also times and times broke down my son’s computer VPN, aiming evades him from English and Christian I endeavored to put him forth. they shamelessly sent their children aided by their dirty earns abroad, but banned domestic English access and bound Chinese with their tombstone sinking in sins. what they losing is not a battle of new world and new life, but a hope of survival in their doomed warfare and division. from now on I will try to resume my old dynamic sites, zho.io and forum of zhuson.com. financial situation is huge hard, I pray relief so hard to live affordable. after all I have faith in my building Empire of China in my title. I believe I endorsed to continue my brand promotion cyberspace. I didn’t change as to shoulder the responsibility of Royal China. God dad, bring me sooner my new family with my children forsaked when I productive. bring me sooner my girls in our happy time and vital. grant me purchasing power among my credit cards, and sustain my assets, esp English world one, I bought in online gradually. in every cent I spent shows my decision’s value and precise. thx, dad God, in this sunny morning.

Feb 16,2016

research election campaign in dream. dreamt of modern election exercise. this dawn dreamt detailedly in a election campaign. I carefully watched classes of people brought afore. the result not so sure and caucus hard to judge for win. after got up I had to breakfast in KFC a bus stop away second time after landed from the flight. the dorm canteen operator returned from lunar vacation but lack impetus to open service. my dorm working environment quite intactly kept, in a day I settled most necessary updates and instalment. in face of unclear financial difficulties in 2016, I pray solely my job here may complete. credit overdraw urgently need return for fluid, but I now haven’t cash to facilitate the process. last night after shut down pc, I casually peeked the possibility of hostility and ill will in my kid brother’s family treated us in our 2nd flight tour. they might hate us and attempted hurt us. there is possible battle among my old family upon dad’s inheritor. after all 2 KFC breakfast is delicious and my focus improved. Dad God, grant me bonus this salary day to ease my credit crisis. empower my credit card’s purchase and readiness in its mobility of currency. bring me sooner my Royal China when it matters. grant us adequate life style we enjoyed so far. thx, dad God.



{February 10, 2016}   like a new dime after the vacation.

9/2/2016

time to reckon back way. dreamt of madly promoting my Royal of China. first I appeared in campus canteen. I found my spoon missing. I afraid it was contaminated and search it. my Nankai Univ alumni, Zhang Chongfu appears. then in the crowd of leaving school students in campus, I turned more and more desperately promoting the message that I was the Emperor owning the country. some parents, including a parent and also likely a teacher, heart me carefully. I then acclaimed I will pay her triple times her cost even I doubt it would be costly for the throne. then I saw Peng Jinglei, one of my Huanggang senior middle school alumni, just in the crowd, I acknowledged him, “how is Peng Dehuai in ur family?”, his sweats dropped like tears. I then woke up. Its first dream in which I dreamt of confronting my alumni truth I declared so long in cyberspace, my Empire from my ancestor, and madness in persistence in adversity. my 2nd flight tour with my son, woz, near its end. even now I felt sleepy, for my brother’s family usually went to bed around mid night. in lunar new year they crazy with gift cash and video talk with hometown village folks. I spent lots of lessons to alter his complacent upon his current messy work flow and badly organized work space, his loose income should replaced by well planned, economic production profit. I urged him read daily to maintain thinking and vision. he dislike my preaches but more or less he understand his small enterprise not so rosy. his wife made many delicious meals, left my stomachache frequently secrets acid burning liquid in dream for overfull dinner. now time to foresee return flight. last night I showered woz and myself. my brother promised will drive us to airport. I enjoyed so much the journey. God, dad, I hope I didn’t hurt my brother’s ambition, his sense of visionary. I hope our grand father’s Empire brings him confidence as my holy spiritual wake up. I hope his mean habit, his premature entrepreneur grows unshakeable plenty of our Royal China. dad God, I didn’t mistaken holy completion in this lunar holiday vacation. bring me sooner my girls, my crowd Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, into my new family. bring me my Royal China when I productive. spare useless bets on robust of my offspring and Empirical inherit. grant us smooth flight returning to northeastern China where I fought for freedom and better world so far.

1/2/2016

dreamt of Japanese prostitutes. in dawn dream I visited brothel with a Japanese friend. I first time accepted prostitute service. I chose 2 girls, one younger and one taller. but sex seemingly not successful. nearly a week past since I brought my son visiting my kid brother in southern China. I tried hard to perceive his situation and offered lots of innovative suggestions which unpopular and repulsive. I also want he loan me ¥5000 aside flight tickets which costs him 10000rmb to fluid my credit overdraw. till now he complained economic hardness and refused to loan. ICBC previously extended me a week to return debt otherwise possible disabled my credit card but fortunately till now they didn’t buzz me after a week’s probation. in the week my brother lingered in his mill daytime and lately returned around 11pm. I accompany my son and first son of my brother at home aimlessly. in such a inhospitable circumstance I eager to flight back to Qiqihar, my 2nd hometown. we ate spicy cheap food and lost appetite soon. but last night my brother treated us dining out and I swallowed there. before the dinner we arranged to play arcade console games in the shopping mall. my son competed hard in racing game against his cousin, 2 years older than him. lately we shopped for lunar new year. my notebook finally got its power sock converter and my son and me both watched our favorite online videos after mid night before went to bed. here drizzled since we arrived and coolness in house kept woz staying on bed while gaming on his pad. my brother’s house is elegantly spaceful, but badly untidy. I blamed him for several times and now I don’t intend to preach more for a narrow minded man. its not wonderful as what I imagined but my tiring battle against PRC surveillance healed. after the Spring festival, my financial situation might worsen steeply but God dad, I have faith in the way leading me through. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my girls in new year in new family. grant us debt free and purchase power among my credit cards.

17/1/2016

prepare to launch. dreamt building house with my alumni. A teacher led us to push down a wall. Chenfeng, Hunan graduate in my Nankai Univ alumni, push so hard that fell with the wall and startled me by possible tragedy. then dreamt with my son before flight tour, which demands detailed list of future activities to prove innocence. I burned brain to cover all possible agendas in the list to satisfy censorship. last weekend fulfilled with joyes when my son unpack new purchased goods in my dorm. we have first compute stick for portable computing, for securer storage. my son less gamed on pc while immersed in his pad games. on Sunday he first time forgot bringing his gears for spa. he likely grows and looking into more wonderful world other than video games. his mom now less intervenes my work in her house for my son’s living standard. in our gathering I complained a lot about closer surveillance PRC tyrant exerts upon us. now the last week before we cruise our 2nd flight tour together. that’s likely the main concern we seldom touched. 2015, esp lunar 2015, brings so many surprises we hardly counted on. in cheerful 2016 we eager to gain its preview and outline. aboard will do the job and alienate curiosity. God, dad, grant me return some of my credit deficit, ensure my credit’s purchase power and readiness. prepare us a happy journey in southern China. bring me my Royal China when I productive.

14/1/2016

dream of military talk. dreamt first play go with an alumnus, with his friend, a PLA commander of PRC as side watcher. I discussed with the battalion about military organization, claimed on battle field a battalion is a standard unit, rather than squad nor company. I also discussed CCP history and its strategy. during the chat, we saw a huge ant lair in building. these days peacefully enjoyed English world online after half settled vpn router app. intensified contacting vpn support team under PRC surveillance led to draw: I can’t access vpn from router, but its desktop version grants me youtube and open world as first time I was amazed by. yesterday I trying to deploy the vpn service on my second router, a Chinese gee router, its again blocked at once, even previous HK based vpn servers unable to connect, too. the sinking PRC bitch too weak to afford anything extra, and tries all means to honey pot domestic users with infected hardware and software, just for sinful espionage and breaking apart massive angers before last straw weight it down. this week I also ditched my 3 dynamic sites on google cloud engine, after misconfiguration locks myself outside. I will try to make full usage of google sites, and zoho sites, which both elegant product line. In holy Urgency, I bought myself another gadget, intel compute stick. I’m so complacent after seeing last year’s upgrade of intelligent gears brings about productivity. God, dad, grant me remove credit deficit more or less in lunar new year. enable my credit with purchasing power and sustainable capacity. grant us smooth flights between here and our vacation destiny, my kid brother’s house in southern China. bring me sooner my Royal China, Asoh Yukiko, my other sweet girls, as well as our best fruits, into my new family. dad God, led me to new level of glory and grace.

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6/1/2015

bell rings for victory. its like an essay. I dreamt I was a little small girl who orally cites in dream world. she works in a chemical factory or company. she said many old chemical materials after years turns like a thin paper, a blow can destroy it. she has me as her husband and another girl colleague. one day she found her or her colleague had great discovery and turns famous. the girl admires the celebrity so much she decided to show her love. her husband agree to her plan. she bought the celebrity gifts, who accepted and drank with them in the party. the little girl drunk and had to release herself. but mistakenly wrapped shits in huge tissues and stuck inside her clothes and slept. her husband found later the huge shits and help her clean it. her mother-in-law also offers a hand. the shits seemingly not so foul, like bull shits. its likely a small town, small changes in life, steady while boring improvement socially. its likely a victory dream, after so many days hard working against PRC heavy espionage and breaking attempts upon my setup new vpn routers. for deploying the vpn router, I almost pound son’s mom, a stupid moll, with fist, when she forced my leaving while I just in heat fixing. the small woman buzzed police station demanding cop’s visit but delayed or refuted. I waited some time till found hardly able to continue work, then I left. those 2 workdays each almost 18 hours non-break till late night I fought online to get update for the vpn router while sinking PRC surveillance blocked all means. I contact support team of the vpn and got tips quite helpful. last night near 1 am, everything works well, including claimed 2 auxilary mobile phone numbers from Chinamobile for my son and myself, but this morning turn on one router found it update again ruined. God, when I can get rid off this scam in PRC, my vested kingdom? grant us new open cyberspace with aid of new vpn, dad God, grant me access English world and world view of united God’s kingdom on the earth. thx for all breakthroughs and task on going.

27/12/2015

dreamt being in media industry again. dreamt my old career, media. my once colleague, Xu Chuanyou, appeared in office and brag his investment. then I worked as chief editor of media company whose boss is Li Ka-shing. I made lots of efforts on designing skyline scene as new cover image of our new campaign. Li heard my report and arranged support for my promotion. then on roof of the office building, I arranged crew, reporters onto world affair stage. our business booming and I woke up. these days constrained by mis-configuration and can’t access my google cloud engine. one of my site, zho.io, went offline for week after succeeded to patch new security, and then went wrong strangely. I searched the web for fix but misled by tutorial with faults, put my all site and security key vulnerable public. likely the automatic protective mechanism prevents me logon since then. lacking of linux administratiive skill upset me deeply, even sometimes online community quite helping and growth of learning inspiring. the canteen operator’s family gathering again, his old mother, whose manner always repulsive for me, might urge her daughter-in-law, the only woman in the operative team of the canteen I admit, refuse to loan me for return my credit deficit. the operator and his wife both lied when I asked for loan. in holy confidence when I bathed in sunshine after lunch in front of dorm, I decided time to book flight for scheduled son’s winter vacation in my kid brother’s house in southern China. soon with my credit I got 2 ticket of airline. my kid brother generously sent me ¥5000 to cover the expense. with it, I returned historical loan, ¥1400, to the canteen at once and likely let the operator at loss. with year end closing, my son and myself cheered by coming visit southernly.
God, dad, after so many tries I more and more got familiar with securer Internet access. now I enjoy boarderless cyberspace so much. I try my best to cover my son with best education and entertainment online, esp from US. thx for the solid improvement, thx for peaceful workspace here around us. bring me sooner my Royal China to educate more freedom lives on the scarry land in sinking PRC. bring me my girls and our offspring for joy of heavenly. thx fiancial support, esp my respectable credit cards, changes my life so much.

22/12/2015

dreamt of alumni.dreamt just after entrance exam. I frustrated upon my test score and didn’t want to check how it is. then Wu Jiang, my Nankai Univ classmate and long time class leader, berthed upper me, now a professor in US, murmured my enrollment admirable. 3 university enlisted me, including Nanjin Film Academy, which he claimed the only domestic acting school allows students not have to stand to learn every lesson. likely a famous accounting university also enrolled me. Yang Jin, also Nankai Univ alumnus now Canada citizen, also show his envy. then I boost his dignity in his choice university, likely accounting specific, too. I claimed nowadays most important companies employ accounting company for their financial report to stock market, so the accounting market open,consolidate and capable. Yang glad to hear my affirmative. I then enjoyed my success I almost mistakenly overlooked. then Wang Yunqing, a Nankai annumus from northeastern China and now a manager in state mine company in his hometown, whose major is accounting and enterprise management, asked me something and I inspected for him. last Sunday I told my son, woz, Hope of China, God of Universe, my decision to move farer from him, against his mom’s manipulation of his timetable for her profit. I will only visit him on Sunday and just spend time with him for shower and lunch weekly. my son didn’t comment upon the change which will leaves more time alone on him, at least from his dad. we ate toast buffet I enjoyed more and more grilling on my own, but he only ate first several slices and full. in bathroom I bathed him mostly, left him clean shampoo himself. when I alone showering, I felt dizzy and worn arm almost unbearable. escaped from the spa, his mom waited us at home. the woman in unusual weak voice ask my son’s companion after we tried awhile pc games. I left previous before they preparing to leave. in Monday I tried again to add google ads onto my site, agarten.in. failed but knowledge increased on the web app. China surveillance recently frequently hard reset and cut down my physical network about half hour each time, and so on when they can’t afford. the miserable bitch relentless insults frustrations. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to family my children. bring my girls when I empowered for tender and beautiful. grant me pay back more debt to bank, foresee my journey with my son to southern China with my kid brother’s family in lunar new year. thx for the snowing, dad God.

19/12/2015

dreamt getting trouble in hometown of been loved as same gender. dreamt I enjoyed school term vacation at hometown, Zhudajiu. my passed mother appeared in dream. the one of my cousin, quite older than me, punished their daughter who acclaimed in love with me as gay. I was at home and absent from the troubled scene where the rebellion daughter shamed and admitted guilty, but at a distance where I can hear and discuss my confession with crowd around myself. in the mid, the gay I engaged turns to be a handsome elemental school teacher in family name Liu lives neighbor village and whose sister married a villager just near my old house. I defended my emotional innocent. that was dream when I napped after sent my son, woz, to his custody, his mom after a night ported in my dorm monthly. this past week I busy with restore layout and adsense element on agarten.in, one of my dynamic sites hosted on google cloud engine. I made hard and slow progress in situation where frequently programming skill needed while I seldom gained in past career. but it almost done before I fetched my son after his swim exercise near 7:30pm in downtown Qiqihar. waiting since the afternoon put me relentless. I also tried new steam games before my son can join in his descending my dorm. in the chill on bus stop I witnessed so many young persons in their prime time while I prayed for a young wife so many years. with my son we did quick shopping in Walmart, in which slumppy economy put less customers at scene and we first time didn’t queue to check out. we still spent near ¥300 there, including foods, pillars, and hardware tool I admired long ago. in nearby KFC, we ate deliciously and left prompt. settled in dorm, my son tried games I prepared for him and myself. he forgot bringing glasses with him, so I took him away from screen soon and urged him played his pad games for the sake of his sight. he has huge update list and till 1 am I got up powered down the dormroom. I also found his quilt needs rearrangement lest uncover his back and body. its my fault to urge him put more of rest quilt between us on same bed rather than allowing it slides onto ground which usually dirty and spilt with water for we clean our feet with hot water before bed. next morning I sleepy while my son got up early around 7am after a late night before 11pm. he urged to leave first for he dislike the tentatively separating us tiny woman, his mom, would arrange electronic music lesson again upon his late return. I took taxi after KFC breakfast and at his mom’s house, he soon took away to swim exercise by visiting grandma’s companion. returned to dorm again I tasteless and gave up fixing site’s adsense problem and napped, after cleaned my room, ventalized indoor. dad, God, my life here lends where for glory? I don’t know. I cherish moments so much with my son, and prepared them heartedly, but more and more an even brighter shift ahead turns clear. dad, God, let me fulfilled with joys there when the Son’s glory deserves. bring me sooner my girls when I mates, bring me my Royal China when that matters the earth event. thx for the cover of dream, dad, God, for message in this sunny afternoon.



et cetera
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