bright sunshine in the afternoon

these days more or less overdose of internet exposure let me fatigue. i dozed in the morning and in the afternoon. owning a site can’t be more exciting for me now and then, but i still had to find more contents to feed it. my homepage consists of a static page, a dynamic content extracted from my personal blog, and 2 widgets from google code base. its far from satisfying. my life stream scattered over the web and hosted over all there, however, i had problem merging them into my all one cyberspace presence, or focusing on my corporate site with business goal or business pattern driven. i just had to find a sustainable business model for my site, i had longing it so far. i love business and organization, but no where except my site i will have a chance to taste it. my goal drive was strong, and my vision was broad. i need more time to sharp it. never i admitted i was naive on matters management, even in social reality i was rid of most pleasure of being social.

these days i saw spring spread over the land and air gradually. the air is crisp and the wind was mild. sunshine at noon sometimes let u have a preview of summer, the most lovable season for me, esp. a homesick traveler over thousand miles and ten more years from the heatspot of Hubei Prov., central China. i love sunshine and sunburn. i love my hometown, far thousands miles away from here. God let me sleep in her peaceful arms in the vast land in the end of the journal i was rolling now.

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finished a main upgrade to my domain homepage

at first in the past days i reviewed some web templates for idea on my homepage layout. after gradually idea emerged i launched to design my homepage from reuse of a template got from my web collection. i edit the logo and layout and got my html files. then quite some time spent on hacking code to make including pages and through javascript to incorporate my blog and gtalk and google calendar widget into my homepage. later after upload the files to my host server, the isp’s ads for free account like me messed up the code and i had to try quite some means to avoid the messup. the night spent without a satisfying outlet. this morning i pickup the uncompleted task and finding the isp, godaddy.com, let their ads neat on my homepage, not messing up my page. then i found in ie7 the layout ugly. then another one or 2 hour spent correcting tables in page to let it tidy in ie window. near 10 am i finished all work and uploaded to my godaddy’s server and my google apps’ directory. so nice! i finally shift the unease in my heart as i mentioned ago in my blog with the result. i like it, even i need more time to fine tune it.

the picture above is the screen shot of my homepage. u can access it at http://be21zh.org/ , or http://www.be21zh.org/ .welcome visit or comment.
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bright sunny morning

the morning sunshine was the brightest recently. so i decided to blog to celebrate it. my pc with new ram yet unstable and frequently hanged. but i felt easer when surfing. the blocking and monitor live looser these days, likely for the 2008 olympic game near and the authority tried to win a better open impression with foreigners. my sites building progressed slowly, and my custom subdomain still don’t work, except those subdomain of google apps, but they only working in the world outside of China. i really need launch to redesign my homepage, but i just can’t find the necessary drive. after all i felt too cozy with my niche now.
the pc hanged again just when i attempted to attach picture from my phone to post this blog.

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pale sunshine after 3 day’s drizzle

today is cloudy. the sunshine sometimes bright, sometimes washed out. i felt sleepy in the morning and dozed for about 3 hours. my home pc with new 512 MB ram still instable, and hanged for more than 3 times since installed the day before yesterday. these days i sometimes felt internet was enough for me, but i still found lots have to do. my baby was now fed up with the higher challenge of the game in its later chapters and switched to some other games. his mother fussy with his eyes. i more and more found myself a perfectionist and busy all means to build a clean os and portable suite. i was too harassed by hacking and spent so much time against spy eyes. but these days i sometime loose my tension and contented with superficial peace now on my home pc.

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benzillar’s blogroll 03/26/2008

Google for Non-Profits

tags: google, gserv, non-profit

google act for non-profit. the world needs non-profits.

benzillar custom search engine over web

tags: custom, gserv, search

my google custom search

snown since last night, windy

last night i busy with preparing a clean os for backup and it cost the all night. ema and our baby slept when i finished my task near 10:30 pm. the air indoor was not cool. but when i awake sleepily this morning it covered with snow all over outside. its so beautiful after all. the weather likely colder than last snow with rain two days ago, for the snow was dry and atomized and u can sensed it when wind brought it hit on ur face, which was sometimes really painful. the past days in the interim was always pale sunny, and windy.
yesterday i decided to equipped my home pc with new 512MB ram,which cost me ￥165, for its frequently blue screen out or reboot irregularly. a guy from gfan google group suggested in our web chat session that it might the ill-working ram resulting crash. i adoptted his suggestion gradually and with the aid of my elder sister, i afforded to buy one new ram to replace the old one. i then plugged old one into office pc, whose ram was poor 128 MB and likely i can’t get upgrade from the company i worked for and being made alien from in foreseeable future. now i can do some task on office pc which has now about 380 MB ram. so nicely they can be. i just too love pc. while most of people in the company equipped with most dated pc and internet access while seldom enjoy them. God’s really letting me taste the fight for what i want.
ok, here near the end of my monolog. i will update my family tree within my facebook at noon and will stay in office for the snow. i love my life so far. i even love the better balanced world to come under God’s shine.
to now, its started to drizzle with snow since noon.most of snow heapped last night melt now and water all over.

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snow mixing with rain all day

last night was ordinary and i busy with registering my new site at http://be21zh.org/ some user id with plaxo.com and utter.com and meebo.com, as well as twitter.com. i also add their widget to its blog at http://blog.be21zh.org/ .all went smoothly, let me forgot the existence of China surveillance. they didn’t trouble most of my web traffic except sometimes let my pc blue screen hanged or reboot irregularly. but they blocked my googleapps custom subdomains. i was frustrated by the result of inaccessiblilty to my customized google apps urls and till a guy from gfan, a google group heavily being blocked by China cop, talked with me about the China blocking of google apps, i decided to ask my alumni in US to test those custom url. then my one classmate in US told me all google apps’ custom web address, ie. http://start.be12zh.org/ ,http://www.be12zh.org/ , http://sites.be12zh.org/ , http://docs.be12zh.org/ , http://mail.be12zh.org/, etc,. , all working, except the subdomain i added myself, like http://status.be12zh.org/ ,http://vlog.be12zh.org/ , http://album.be12zh.org/ , http://bookmark.be12zh.org/ ,http://lifestream.be12zh.org/ ,etc. last night the guy from our hometown who r pursuing his doctor diploma in Wuhan, central China, told me his internet explorer crashed each time when access my google apps affiliate sites. and with firefox he saw my sites and agree with me on the possibility of penalty from China authority over his university onto his career in the surveillance tightened caste/hieraichy system. any social activist can be isolated by China dog machine system and its hostility to reformer can be overwhelming, for they known they r the prey of the citizen.

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snown last night, now bright sunshine

yesterday was a crisis for me, after several days i lingered on pc late after 10 am. the grandma and my baby’s mother both brewing a lot of complains and long jaw to me. i had to review the possiblity of returning to dormitory to spend my rest of life there. i hated it but i know with God’s guide i have no fear. in the office i dozed all the morning and most of the afternoon, just to be ready for changes in dream. my baby welcomed me at noon with a big beam, and let me play game "panzer killer" with him after working time just after i returned home. his mother avoid facing me directly by haunting the supermarket and bought baby food, and returned home later than almost an hour to get after sight over the result of brewing conflicts between the grandma and me.the grandma at a loss and washed lately in the night. at dinner i failed to open a fish can and she shown her manish skill to open it. she just want to feed her daughter’s all needs and kept all thing at her reach, against her lapsing years as being an aged woman. her want to grasp the life in her scope under her rein forever, just to prove her poor abilty to close the incompleteness of her body and soul. at noon her partner lived for more than 10 years and more together, a former cadre who’s best achievement was ruin the working unit he charged by bankrupt and lost all his looting in his private small business and then went to his hometown to feed cow, haunted my baby’s mother’s home, with his lameness. i saw insanity over them but can’t prove it to my baby and ema, who was just too canny and a shrew, inherited from the shabby dark ancestry.
all of time they just let me deeper in connection with my fate and my appealing for God. i felt alien here and there and in my life on the earth so far. my most beloved father, left me without a sight or note, left me even urgenter will to see the end of the tunnel.
i love my baby, in his growing up i see the Godness. i lived for the growing appealing for a brighter future of China, for a glorier world in attest of God’s deed.

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gloomy days since the bright windy day

after the bright windy day since my last post the air was again filled with sands and wind.yesterday the colleagues in the office tried to connect the newl wired pc with shared printer and folders but for on each pc didn’t setup share so it just didn’t work.those guyes tried to avoid me and call for help from other department. but i finally fix it and felt very glad to approve my ability on computer.this morning i tried to search web for the contacts method with my old time friends in my youth but result in failure. after made use of qq, a Chinese instant message, i enjoyed the web chat very much and wonder why these years past i didn’t make friends connected. my domain settings still failed me and i don’t know how to fix it. i just wondering if google apps ill-working but i didn’t find a way to talk my problem with them.
i love free time on the web. bye.

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it turns out to be a bright windy day

the dawn broke with auspicious, even last night wind roar around the corner.the sunshine like a thin layer of feather vibrating in the air. and i launched to office with the promise. today i felt exhausted and dozed a lot in the office, from morning to afternoon. the ill-working domain settings more or less upset me and i yet don’t know a workaround to fix it. i also waiting for a web template to update my homepage. i had some vision on my google sites which wiki part most inspired me, but i had a long way to reach out. i want to build a publish channel but in the realm there r likely a lot of tasks to complete. i want to recall the most beautiful memory of my dad when he worked on the forestry station, our family life in the hard time of China just after the culture revolution. i want to build family tree of my hometown, a mountain village. i don’t know where to start with but i was gradually approaching it.
the windy spring here was a long tradition, but i still look forward changes. with more trees and forest wind should be less frequent. i saw the climate change globally from the hole here but i need more reading on it.
bye. i love the life in transition. these days i felt stronger bandage with God, the tender sense of life.
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