benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉


dreamed of missing warrenzh. ^ last weekend really marvelous. we first time ate lunch at dico’s, for the fake franchise, California beef noodle, 2nd time made strange food for my son as my son smelled last weekend. I knew my usual open mind hurt the stupid restaurant operator, a small man from Shichuan, southwestern China. these weeks my budget pinching us a lot, for last month I spent more than my poor salary affords, left ¥600 debt to dorm canteen. QRRS canteen also felt hurt and tentatively ruined my ordered dishes, so I will have to find alternative lunch elsewhere. we also made proud progress among our beloved video games. warrenzh 朱楚甲, dearest son, even attracted by shooting game I learning to master and asked for trying together. the weather turning brilliant, after almost a week’s rains. I alo got a bonus for past dragon boat holiday, 200 RMB even strangely handed over by the sinful departmental monitor lately and didn’t show me the sheet nor my signature. last night I watched English episode, Downton Abbey, which tells coincidence between lovers upon life threat by sudden chill. this dawn I first time dreamed a chill and found my son missing in public spa, where yesterday we showered together. my son lost one of our reserving box’s key and let me panic. even the barber helped me find out, I scorned my son for his clumsiness. God, I know threats and hostiles against my Royal China. God, dad, proves the untouchable glory and grace of my Royal China. bring me sooner my girls to welcome my new children. God, thx for the morning sunshine peaceful outside.


longest rain in my 22 years’ Qiqihar life. ^ sinful PRC again in 3 days’ dragon boat holiday. the canteen out of service again, and I had to be starve without extra budget for dinner. my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe, again brought by his thief mom to Longsha park even quite boring there. I waited half hour outside of her house before I reunited with my son. warrenzh likely affected by his evil mom a lot, reluctant to play video game and against my disclose of his mom’s sins. in the night I alone fought 3 hours a pc game "Hell Yeah! Wrath of the Dead Rabbit", which I reckoned very suit my son, but he refused to try new adventure in it, till my sinful 2rd elder sister called in arranging my son’s visit in coming summer vacation to my kid brother in southern China, with free flight my brother pays. after gave up the pc game, my wrath gathered and gradually poured out. I scorn my son’s laziness, coward in front responsibility, his dependence to his dark mother who is so cheap and bitch, and a thief constantly begging vicious in dark to continue to destruct my son and me, my Royal China. I told my son he will benefit a lot from video games, and my accompanying him in video games, while his mom’s assignments, like e-piano, such a chore bored my son so long, and endless homeworks under falling PRC’s higher education, wouldn’t offer opportunity but doom. the dirty small woman first laid together with my son when I immersed in game, then listened my scorn in her bedroom when I summoned my son in the room has computer, but not for my son, rather just for the devil grandma’s guests. I previously revealed to my son his mom’s house don’t prepare his space, but for the grandma’s. he never has his bed, nor his desk, reading space. when I referred piano, the dwarf can’t afford and rushed in, fetched my son away, proved secret linkage the lesbian woman with son’s piano tutor, a woman I once met when I fetched my son from his mom’s office. I more and more sensed a sin circle the dwarf woman, a desperate stupid junior middle school teacher, gathering around. every moment she sucks dark power from dirty and poisonous cheap novels from Chinese online community, in her lazy life supported by her pompous mother frequent here, or even when she tutored pupils home. God, I don’t want list all sins the bitch adopted, I just want keeping sanity of my Royal China, including my son, warrenzh. God, Islamic enemies just in house, in the dirty woman once womb of my son. the pervert in desperate defense of her manure piles.
when I left to avoid the woman who caught my son to wash to sleep defying my teaching over my son, and her fraud accusations, It drizzled outside. in dorm I watched "downton abbey" which so nice and demonstrate faulty woman’s curse, then it rained harder. all night it rained and turns torrent in dawn when I lingered on bed in dreams. I dreamed in campus I returned and found my pants and shoes shared by other roommates. XiaoJindong, a guy from my hometown province Hubei and committed suicide years ago after graduated from Nankai Univ then in long time jobless, took away my shoes. 2 black woman in charge of the dorm. and we have International students among us in dorm. I likely dreamed of my son, also my love and girls in dawn dream. God, rid my son sin of his mom, with her old family, a long time drawback of my grace. God, u know untouchable glory of ur son on the earth. God, bring me sooner my Royal China to home my son, my kids arriving. thx for the plenty of rain in seasons changing.


a most outraged rainstorm in my 22 years in Qiqihar. ^ last night full of peace even in the toughest rainstorm. I visited my son as usual, but he was fetched away by his mom. the dark grandma open the door and I read history of bible on my son’s kindle till he returned. we enjoyed video games so much till his mom scorned us for late around 9pm. it rained since we immersed in pc games. but when I returned to my QRRS dorm by bus, the after rain sky full of fresh air. when I settled to watch English episode "downton Abbey" the rain resumed and cats and dogs. the thunders and rain rhythm covered my notebook’s speaker and ignited my children era’s dread in face of nature power. I busy online till near 11am. I dreamed a lot about my girl LYu, with whom we survived together. the dream so vivid that I wanted to get up to blog, but the after rain dawn too sweet to leave dream. then I dreamed with my kid brother or another close concerned person in Nankai Univ canteen, we starved and had to play tricks to survive. God, dad, so beautiful this morning is! bring me sooner my first wife in my Royal China, girl LYu, so now should be a graduate and I admire so much, bring me my Royal China to cater to my son and offspring arriving. grant us video game equipment update this month! thx, dad God.


dreamed of lots of old contacts, and loan. ^ in dawn dream my passed parents appeared. I stroked by huge demonstration that good fortune brings in constants, IE. as long as within fix total, three members can be fraction, smaller fraction to keep other members larger, which means lives, resources and so on, than expected. that’s God’s reveal to me, and how lucky I am in bliss. then dreamed my campus friends, like my Tibetan friend from Tianjian fine art college and his classmates, I asked them to cooperate with me to resolve my difficulty. we planned together in a house in a town and asked them to trust me and act prompt in order. then in hot summer in my once workplace, the TV studio of QRRS, I bought a Chinese folding fan with my fortune referred above, the monitor and anchorwoman admired and asked for information. last night I contacted again my kid brother in southern China to borrow money to replace our pc game gears, including gamepad and wireless keyboard/mouse pack. he refused to answer me. that’s suck for he is online in QQ, a Chinese mainstream IM but kept mute. I saw failure and dark taste in him. God, grant us to upgrade our video game equipment, let us stay in life enjoyable in the drifting and sinking sinful PRC before ending tragedy of the doomed monster. bring me sooner my Royal China to home my son and offspring arriving. thx God, dad.

From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze

{June 4, 2013}   means heavy.


blue days. ^ yesterday I was blue. it started with brilliant sunshine, drizzled at noon, pale sunshine afternoon, drizzled again when I returned from visiting my son in his mom’s house. in the day QRRS canteen shown ugly teeth upon its service to me: 3rd times or 4th times to tentatively cooked tasteless food, ie fishes I ordered. I knew enemies of my Empire of China plots it, summon all cadres or bureaucracy against me. when I reviewed the hostile my Royal China was set among, I felt deep sorrow for my son, Hope of China, God of Universe. his mom, I recently first time noticed how tiny she is bodily, almost a dwarf, a puppet of her vicious mother, a pair hardcore lesbians, more and more desperately occupied my son’s time by gossips to separate him from me, when we played video games. last Friday she brought sheerly him to watch a free movie in cinema during our routine reunion in weekends and my son got vomiting, likely insanity of his mom’s emotion hurt him. on Sunday night when I played a shooting pc game with my son, she stepped in and gossip with my son aside, trying intimacy that’s dirty over my son. I quit game soon and escaped to waiting room, where I rambled and looked back my once marriage with her and saw more sure I never and will not like her, such a poor qualified woman. during break after her usual accusation of my history of asylum, I told my son love is the most private affair and I have so far not such thing to teach him live. I urged him pursue love in his life ahead, and educate his children more sound and fruitfully. I told my son why his mom’s house doesn’t prepare him a space, the only 2 beds none for him in youth, but for guest or couples, both deep concern of the dark and pompous grandma’s. this dawn I dreamed I was in a formation between 2 contesting groups. Its hard to be standing above. God, dad, save my Royal China from poison and pollution. bring me sooner my girls to home my son warrenzh 朱楚甲, and my children arriving. thx God, in this blessing morning light.


dreamed of paying a visit to my hometown.^ those days I usually sticked my feet out of quilt to sleep, and sometimes mid night cold filled my bladder more frequent. in this dawn dreamed I returning to my hometown village, Zhudajiu. I dwelt a lot on the dam, where nearby a cult temple attracted more visitors passing the bank. then under the dam some villager got a large lobster or something strange. then on way near the village, 2 women, one is my uncle, one is a wife of her neighbor, told me the loneliness of my parents and ate food I brought till the remnant of bread found sandy. likely my siblings adopted a boy soon died drove more usual friends of my parents away, left my parents suffer loneliness more severely. I soon woke up and got see how my parents looked forward me and I failed them in time. I saw enemies of my family constantly plots against the glory of my old family. God, dad, u see I was on way to accomplish this since years I fought for my love, for my due life’s satisfying story. dad, God, grant me more freedom in the forging new Empire of China of 1109 years. promise me sanity of my Royal China. thx dad God.


busy weeks. ^ past week too busy to review. I finally got oversea payment method via tenpay, and renewed family domains twice, with borrowed ¥500 from the dorm canteen operator. then immersed in old game, ‘heroes: clash of heroes’, with my son. I told him about war, defense and strategy. my salary in the month arrived later, under expectation, only ¥2100 while last month its 2700 RMB. I had to manage to cope with all loans shabbily. however, my son still enjoy the Friday night with me in dorm. we ate KFC, warrenzh got a toy, a windmill. KFC doesn’t sell birthday pack upset him, but he soon cheered up after weeping. he again reluctant to join me bathing in public spa, where we had haircut. my kid brother who managed a small business of pins product in southern China. he let our sister invited me with my son visit him in coming summer vacation. God, we mean it, a tour includes flight and train highway. God, equip us with adequate travel preparation. God, bring me sooner my girls, my Royal China sooner to complete us. dad, I owe u in ur promise of peace and glory in coming 1109 years of China Empire reset ahead.
in afternoon nap dreamed of corporate and community media war among my colleagues and my old family’s foes in Zhudajiu Village. I witnessed merciless competition inside and outside of my social circle as well as tribal neighbors. Its a windy afternoon. God, dirty family of my son’s mom, as in visiting guests, pests now my son, guard my Royal China, God dad.


safety of son.^ yesterday really busy. my backup index damaged again. it cost me rescan near 50 dvds till find backup, in my son’s mom’s house. the woman more and more revengeful in jealous and brought my son alone defying my reunion with my son. the afternoon I replaced av software on warrenzh’s dell notebook after previous license expired. I also immersed in assassination video game, Mark of Ninja, made proud progress till son returned outside and joined to resolve the problem in the game. we late played his recent favorite game, Sacred Citadel. returned to dorm, frequent abused children cases in sinking PRC lawless reminded me possible danger my son encountered. he recently already shown reluctance under my guide to ride his new bike. now it time to let go my severe coach once made my son cried last Monday over his new adventure with bike. God, now a sunny morning outside. I just dreamed stayed with my son longest for his real concern, for his sake. God, u know my concerns. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Empire of China to make it more hospitable. God, save my Royal China, people I concerned from murdering sea on PRC breaking apart.


most beautiful dream, and soul soup.^ recently a bit busy with trying oversea payment. this dawn a special dream warms me a lot. dreamed my kid brother and my old parents sustained in adversity. in year end I returned to my hometown village, where my old parents lived through tough challenges, esp from my uncle’s family. their 1st son, a teacher then turned bureaucrat, lived well among sinful Chinese government, and his 3 sons brought quite some beautiful girlfriends and enjoyed the lunar holiday. I passed their house and congratulated them even bitter. but then I heard my parents worried severely about if my kid brother committed suicide, for his poor academic score and beat our elder sister, a cheap messy woman. I also felt anxious. then I found my kid brother returned from another road my grand father prepared on other side of the village to our house. he brought some soldiers to celebrate lunar new year together. I teared and swore to my parents we brothers will bring a legion of friends includes girlfriends when we realize ourselves in future. in that our family bond forges again. Its sunny now. God, dad, bless my Royal China, bring sooner my new family to home my son, warrenzh and his sisters and brothers to come.

From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From baby’s works update
From 2013 in gaze

et cetera