benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











{February 27, 2009}   enjoying family sites expanding
utterli-image
its another busy week. i tried best to spare some time to follow tech news i
subscribed in my google reader but seldom it allowed. after feedback
posterous <http://www.posterous.com/> about my asking for more blog titles
and breaking its limit of 3 blogs for each user and in vain waited for reply
in 2 days, i decided to register myself another account with the site. to
fill in the available blog title gap under the new account, i found a new
namespace for my cyberspace, zhuson, united US and China under God’s shine. in
the coming 2 or 3 days, i claimed the namespace from wordpress&livejournal&
posterous&google sites&google groups. this morning, i spared some time to
design it a *logo*, and felt quite satisfying, so i updated all publish
channels with the new logo respectively. its too cozy to complain about
trifle manipulations that needed aftermath.

i don’t bother to trade blogs, equipped my family with blogs about 40 or
more, but i love beautiful name and its space, its *God’s way*. i longing
hosting talks and negotiations in my public space or groups, with privilege
of administration, but most inspiring me still is the versatile of voices
and prosperous of opinions, nowhere in nowadays China to enjoy. i love
foreseeing the working studio around people’s, as well as the world’s new
needs and progress.

its a bright afternoon, as frequented these days. i love seeing bright
sunshine and that’s my mood here. see things right is me now.

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{February 25, 2009}   benark route 02/25/2009

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.



utterli-image
its a warm while blizzrads frequented early lunar spring. 2 or 3 snows descended since lunar new year. the bright sunshine always let me happy. family life since then also warm and enjoyable. every sight caught of beauties can let me sigh. i hold my dream of my beautiful most beloved girls even more deep and embeded. dog in China surveillance still pested me, blocking my access to torrent or p2p download world wide, and leting my surfing on home pc a painful experience. the gifts from my God, also from my beloved in holiday, enchanted me every moment when i pick them. i looked into every possible message to probe when i get united with them in new place and settings. God, u see how my heart full of miss for them, my girls in praying.

those days also for me busy, to expand my web presence more penetratively. i enjoyed the interesting sites, like retaggr.com or posterous.com, and their service. i don't want contented by my google and other sites with which i binded our ties, and lost pulse of the bustling new startups. however, with the size of my current web sites, adding a new member sites can result in many rebuilding of connections and corrections. but i don't complain, that's my cyberspace business for my corp.
its more and more melting into green spring, to which i looked forward with so many hopes. i love seeing the light atmosphere and refreshing air. i love to carry my camera everywhere, with new sight in retrospect.i love seeing beautiful legs of female, and their blossomy, and sunburn's sting on skin. i love seeing my girls breezing me with female's tendering.
that's my wish for the new spring. i oath God seeing my fate closer to reunite with my beloved.

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…



{February 24, 2009}   early warm lunar spring
utterli-image
its a warm while blizzrads frequented early lunar spring. 2 or 3 snows
descended since lunar new year. the *bright sunshine* always let me happy.
family life since then also warm and enjoyable. every sight caught of *
beauties* can let me sigh. i hold my dream of my beautiful most beloved
girls even more deep and embeded. dog in *China surveillance* still pested
me, blocking my access to torrent or p2p download world wide, and leting my
surfing on home pc a painful experience. the gifts from my *God*, also from
my beloved in holiday, enchanted me every moment when i pick them. i looked
into every possible message to probe when i get united with them in new
place and settings. God, u see how my heart full of miss for them, my girls
in praying.
those days also for me busy, to expand my web presence more penetratively. i
enjoyed the interesting sites, like retaggr.com or posterous.com, and their
service. i don’t want contented by my google and other sites with which i
binded our ties, and lost pulse of the bustling new startups. however, with
the size of my current web sites, adding a new member sites can result in
many rebuilding of connections and corrections. but i don’t complain, that’s
my cyberspace business for my corp.

its more and more melting into green spring, to which i looked forward with
so many hopes. i love seeing the *light atmosphere and refreshing air*. i
love to carry my camera everywhere, with new sight in retrospect.i love
seeing *beautiful legs of female*, and *their blossomy*, and sunburn’s
stingon skin. i love seeing
*my girls breezing me* with female’s tendering.

that’s my wish for the new spring. i oath *God* seeing my fate closer to
reunite with *my beloved*.

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its a warm while blizzrads frequented early lunar spring. 2 or 3 snows descended since lunar new year. the bright sunshine always let me happy. family life since then also warm and enjoyable. every sight caught of beauties can let me sigh. i hold my dream of my beautiful most beloved girls even more deep and embeded. dog in China surveillance still pested me, blocking my access to torrent or p2p download world wide, and leting my surfing on home pc a painful experience. the gifts from my God, also from my beloved in holiday, enchanted me every moment when i pick them. i looked into every possible message to probe when i get united with them in new place and settings. God, u see how my heart full of miss for them, my girls in praying.

those days also for me busy, to expand my web presence more penetratively. i enjoyed the interesting sites, like retaggr.com or posterous.com, and their service. i don’t want contented by my google and other sites with which i binded our ties, and lost pulse of the bustling new startups. however, with the size of my current web sites, adding a new member sites can result in many rebuilding of connections and corrections. but i don’t complain, that’s my cyberspace business for my corp.
its more and more melting into green spring, to which i looked forward with so many hopes. i love seeing the light atmosphere and refreshing air. i love to carry my camera everywhere, with new sight in retrospect.i love seeing beautiful legs of female, and their blossomy, and sunburn’s sting on skin. i love seeing my girls breezing me with female’s tendering.
that’s my wish for the new spring. i oath God seeing my fate closer to reunite with my beloved.

 

Posted via web from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…



{February 19, 2009}   benark route 02/19/2009

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.



{February 16, 2009}   benark route 02/16/2009

Posted from Diigo. The rest of my favorite links are here.



utterli-image
this weekends i slept a lot. baby’s mother, ema, tentatively separated her
and our baby from me for days, and i got clear my departure from her was
set. i hated to leave my baby son any moment, and the evil family of ema’s,
gathered strength these days to persuade her holding baby as her owning and
prevent my holding dear to baby sooner the better. in most broking-heart
moment i pray to God that he should know the demon, but in peace i know no
one can alert the judge of Final. who owns, who has, who lost, all
inscription. these days i felt burning upon the moment which gathering
momentum after my girls in need of me, their bride and master in house as
well as in world, sending me lunar new year’s gift to let me equipped myself
with my first camera and notebook, and new and first shoes in years, of
reunited with my most beloved. i don’t know where they r and how far we
remotely contacted, but my balance was shaky with concerns with my awaiting
sweat-hearts. i hope i can enjoyed living with my girl, zhou, masheng, while
seeing my baby son under eyelids, till he start his journey necessary and
independent on the earth. today in ema’s house, i can’t evade her softened
attitude to me but i gradually made it that i don’t belong to her, no matter
how she recognize the fact. i belong to my Empire. never ema’s dirty family
can bargain with, including my baby son, the God. i don’t want to hurt her,
including her insults all years in my time unpolished and beneath under
earth in the past ten and more years in Qiqihar, the eccentric place i don’t
like.
who said i don’t like snow? its again a saint moment of being baptized and
saved by her, with her beautiful snow-white. dirty to dissolved in soil and
hidden to be ignited like diamond. in the afternoon and night i was remind
that my once beloved, girl Fang, now acted actively behind the scene. what
she can get from me, i had laid it in my announcement in my google groups,
like benzyrnill or faezrland, in the moment before i left Qiqihar to my home
town last time in end of 2006, after my grand dad left me and my baby son
admitted my absence in Qiqihar then. its a painful time but i never walk
backward.

its time for sleep, in this silent room, after baby slept earlier tonight
and shifted by his mom and herself to our bedroom. God, u see my beloved
girls, that’s my life i put in u. look after them and wait me to re-bloom
here or in another place. i oath i will take u all in my arms and under the
crown. i oath i m ur God and bride forever, proud as the Godfather. God,
just take me away to the palace i should in, and live with my pleasure and
eye-candies. i never look back.

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{February 13, 2009}   God sees me his way
utterli-image
yesterday is a pale day and on the road i known dirty wills poisoning me.
the grandma arrived ema’s home just after the time i due left but i lingered
the afternoon. she surely *a devil*, and trying united with her family,
including her daughter, ema. after work time, i bought baby bread and found
he playing pc game when i called him in joy. in gaming when i met English
word i don’t know, he unusually called his mom’s help. later in dinner ema’s
hatred turned apparent. *their reckons and trading* appeared in my mind and
i couldn’t allow their evils upon baby nor me. the night baby tried to
approached me to console me, but i don’t feel happy. on bed i recognized
that his mom just turned more demons into her soul and catered to baby just
want to make use of it for her rest of life.
the night i at first almost restlessly. the calculation of baby’s mom and
her family challenged me, forced me to notice them. they r all *cheap
service and essentially prostitutes*. they tried hard to encompass baby with
what he felt satisfied and hindered him from any truth into his view,
including the truth that his dad loving him and he is a man, the Son, not a
demon nor a female like theirs. they tried to band and burdened baby and me
with the superficial moral of family to prevent their evils judged in time,
their dark and dirty cage to burned in fire of condemned on the day of
cleanse. i also got in view that *my mother* in home town also exerted the
same trick in the passed years when i too young to let me keep distance from
my grand father almost all of his life, except when i was first time trapped
in asylum in home town, when my grand dad got a chance to visit me in the
asylum and brought a bowl of strewed yellow beans, whose tastiness i never
forgot, and let me see the deep love of my grand father on me. in most of my
life so far i was covered and suffocated by my mother’s soft and sweat words
and treats, including delicacies, to let me forgot my dad’s contribution to
our family. she, in family name Hu, like ema and her mother, r evils cost
other’s lives to meet end of theirs. they r demons, and demons that bring
original sin upon us, the demon costed Jesus on the cross.

after seeing that i saw God’s mercy and his uncomparable glory. his eternal
and untouchable. saved to see his life and re-rise, dead to in dust.
*
*
after i know his glory and *prayed my appeals*, i got my peace and felt into
sleep. baby had slept aside me awhile but left to sleep in his own little
bed aside ema. i saw *God *in us and affirmed us in shrine. i dreamed of
some interpretors in QRRS, my superficial long time employer. in the dream i
likely had a partner, and we might in trouble.

on the way to office, its a pale and windy morning. but i see the sunshine
likely after dawn. now the brilliant sunshine just too nice outside of the
window. i regret not to bring my favorite new camera with me. i love these
all.

last afternoon it *snowed* shallowly, stopped after about 3 hours falling
from sky. its likely the only and last snow in spring of lunar 2009. *God*,
i u see my need. i want to bring my camera everywhere, and seeing ur world
every moment in still or moving.

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{February 6, 2009}   a looming day, pale sunshine
utterli-image
today its gloomy, the sun missed its clearness and brilliance. i still in
the wildering of new bonus from my superficial employer, QRRS, totally
amounted to ï¿¥7060 around the lunar new year, including yesterday’s ï¿¥200.
with it i already purchased a notebook and a FujiFilm camera, both let me
felt completed. this time i will buy myself *a pare of shoes*. its just too
in time, exactly yesterday i found my old shoe on *right foot*, offered by
the grandma of my baby several years ago, leaking on the outer side. i never
budgeted for a new shoes, but now i know my girl, zhou, urged me to replace
it with hers’. *God*, u know how i want a life with my bride and pride, girl
zhou, at once, right this time. i had waited for it too long. the only
compensation, my baby son and my God, grows sound and fit, i just too
thirsty for beauty in ur universe.
today its a high sensitive day. dirties around me restlessly attempted to
challenge me, or ignite me to avoid them. the place of my office has turned
into a rubbish bin or *waste underground*. i saw their corps before i can
see their ghosts. God let me see the passing and the dead. today also a day
for mourning, a day of grief. sins around gathered and desperate. my baby
son bleeding in his nose last night and today still a bit stuffed, and i
constantly felt lacking interests to accompany him to play pc games as
usual. and i also felt hatred from *folks in my home town*, upon my innocent
acquaintance. quite some young men there lost balance and hast to leave
school to make money remote in south China. the labor market in nowadays
China just too perished. i see these transit no bliss. its a pale day, and
the road still icy even the dirty remnant of snow melting. i again went
without *my new camera* in hand for lack of incentive. i deeply love to
post every blog entry with a picture in it. i love seeing. ok, bye now. i
wrote here for appeal to my girl, zhou, for her gifts, and sympathy to her
need to live a famiy with me with our babies. we at least have a son and a
daughter. u r sure in seasons, and live in pendent upon me, ur man and
husband. i hope *God* not let it too painful nor let it lasting too long.
missing u *in heaven*.

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et cetera