benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











{February 6, 2009}   a looming day, pale sunshine
utterli-image
today its gloomy, the sun missed its clearness and brilliance. i still in
the wildering of new bonus from my superficial employer, QRRS, totally
amounted to ï¿¥7060 around the lunar new year, including yesterday’s ï¿¥200.
with it i already purchased a notebook and a FujiFilm camera, both let me
felt completed. this time i will buy myself *a pare of shoes*. its just too
in time, exactly yesterday i found my old shoe on *right foot*, offered by
the grandma of my baby several years ago, leaking on the outer side. i never
budgeted for a new shoes, but now i know my girl, zhou, urged me to replace
it with hers’. *God*, u know how i want a life with my bride and pride, girl
zhou, at once, right this time. i had waited for it too long. the only
compensation, my baby son and my God, grows sound and fit, i just too
thirsty for beauty in ur universe.
today its a high sensitive day. dirties around me restlessly attempted to
challenge me, or ignite me to avoid them. the place of my office has turned
into a rubbish bin or *waste underground*. i saw their corps before i can
see their ghosts. God let me see the passing and the dead. today also a day
for mourning, a day of grief. sins around gathered and desperate. my baby
son bleeding in his nose last night and today still a bit stuffed, and i
constantly felt lacking interests to accompany him to play pc games as
usual. and i also felt hatred from *folks in my home town*, upon my innocent
acquaintance. quite some young men there lost balance and hast to leave
school to make money remote in south China. the labor market in nowadays
China just too perished. i see these transit no bliss. its a pale day, and
the road still icy even the dirty remnant of snow melting. i again went
without *my new camera* in hand for lack of incentive. i deeply love to
post every blog entry with a picture in it. i love seeing. ok, bye now. i
wrote here for appeal to my girl, zhou, for her gifts, and sympathy to her
need to live a famiy with me with our babies. we at least have a son and a
daughter. u r sure in seasons, and live in pendent upon me, ur man and
husband. i hope *God* not let it too painful nor let it lasting too long.
missing u *in heaven*.

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