March | 2009 | benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly...鸠昱隆嘉

{March 29, 2009} 9th snow in lunar 2009, shallowly, with message

last Friday a neighbor colleague yelled in office that next day would snow
according weather forecast, but i didn’t take for granted. then yesterday
was bright day, with bright sunshine most of the day. i dozed a lot in the
morning to escape from message about my youngest beloved, a slim and tall
young girl with Taiwan background. we totally met twice in the street near
baby’s mother’s school. the first time she bought snack alone in a nearby
shop, the second time when i just cared my baby when she walked with a large
bag with a girl pal. each time i was dumbfound as her beauty and
age-can’t-bringing cunning beams. in the most distressed moment in my
hometown when i just arrived a night, on a dawn, i told the sprite in the
Forrest on the mountain on my arrangement, i let her to visit me and stay at
any moment she likes for any length of time she enjoys with me, and research
what she likes, esp. about the wrecked. i arranged she to entertain me most,
with her untouchable perfection of beauty and youth. i cherish her with my
most tendering and love of beauty.

the morning i slept a lot to avoid dwelling too much about her, for i didn’t
expect our reunion so soon. after woke up, i missed in thoughts about her,
and got view she now in urgency to live with me and enjoy being my hostess.
i saw lots of attempts she managed to inform me anonymously, urging me to
take action to farewell to my current status. i was full of longing and
passion with the life ahead, and adopted the message from holy on how to
make full pleasure with her, who is so young and mature. all the afternoon i
restlessly, can’t find anything interesting, except her, the Taiwan girl. on
the end of the night, i decided to listen to God, trust me life with his
setting, and do what i can and enjoy now.

the night ema again urged to sleep early and left less quilt for me, with
baby and she took most of the quilt. her body usually very hot, and these
days esp. hot. last night i can’t bear the heat and slept less. so this
night i later decided to sleep alone in another quilt. i slept sound this
morning. after i got up, i found a shallow snow already covered the most of
the earth. its another white tale to assure me that my fiancees all secured
and divined against dirt and dark. what i need do is just here calling ur
floral names and praying the wedding day sooner and brighter. our union is
inscribed in Heaven.

update: now its turned into a drizzle, with the soil shallow wet, like
Chinese traditional poem has it, spring rain scarce like oil. i really
really love the rain day and what it brings me the shallow sorrow, a life
memory shaped in my hometown, Central China, where rain plenty.

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{March 26, 2009} 8th snow in Qiqihar, China, in lunar 2009, turne

yesterday almost a tiny sunny day. the Internet access via lan proxy all
down, likely the switch or router on nearest join point disconnect my wire.
and my sites, including homepage on google pages ( http://www.be21zh.org/ )
and on my domain registrar godaddy ( http://be21zh.org/ ), my blogs on
blogger ( http://benzillar.blogspot.com/ or http://songdod.blogspot.com/ ), my
google app engines on appspot ( http://forum.be21zh.org/ or
http://app21zh.appspot.com/ ), my google apps sites under my custom domain
mapping ( http://zhuson.be21zh.org/ or http://wiki.be21zh.org/ ), all down and
inaccessible when i tried to test them on an office pc when its user absent.
the dog in China surveillance really hurt, since my repolishing my homepage
on google pages and godaddy, after seeing their layout mythterously messy on
Monday this week. dog blocked my correcting operation on godaddy the
afternoon before yesterday sweatily, just when i doing editing the page.
surely they smelled denotation in my posts online.
yesterday in office i mostly reading ebook, on Christian and wealth source
of modern society. i also dozed and deep. i dreamed of my once girl friend,
a Liu, and her mother. but ema, my baby’s mother, seemingly merged with the
Liu. the relation in dream on the rim of broken, but we tried to keep it.
returning home after work, i found ema reconciled with me after last night i
scorn her insistence to force baby having pills in 2 hours, and told baby
the truth of his mom. later she told me the broadband access is extended and
ready, after she adopt the service from one of her colleague who want to
ditch hers, leaving 12 months available to migrate to my account, at a
favorable cost of ï¿¥400. but login has problem. after a buzz into the telcom
help desk, i was connected to Internet again at home, but my sites blocked
by cop don’t leave blank or errs page as before, but tentatively shown on
page saying the sites was filtered by the authority of surveillance. later
returning page from google saying the sites unavailable or untrusted, etc.
dog in China surveillance surely took actions just the night before
yesterday. God laughs in their terrors.

last night my family life is ok, baby enjoyed playing pc game with me, while
ema again persuade baby having pills and i rebuffed once, except the dirty
conspire over my new broadband service, and my web activities in closer
surveillance. i had the sense of a new snow in the night, and it did in the
night. this morning after i got up, i watched out at once and found a
shallow snow covering the earth. i know that’s Masheng’s great gift from
Japan, also Gift of Jamie from America. the white story tells me that my
beloved all genius and saint and clear&clean like dews, just like God
promised me. i love u, all my fiancees.

this post is the first one under more crucial surveillance of China. i can’t
see it on my blogs on blogger.com, i can’t see most of my sites several days
ago accessible. i can only rely on my email posting and check it in my
google reader’s rss subscriptions. God sees my beloved shares my gossip with
them here, like any spirit God conveys, in any tiny matters or inconceivable
trifle phenomenon or pulse. God win me u all. that’s it.

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{March 23, 2009} 7th snow in lunar 2009, bright day next day.

its weekend. but the gloomy morning let us at a lose. the tv shown the China
authority, or the cadre group, is the only boss of Chinese enterprise. the
anxious of being buried by the prevailing service of the cadre group in
China for many millelliums haunted me, and sneered at me that ruling the mop
was the same business everywhere, no difference between democracy and
autocracy. the snow, the 7th in lunar 2009, started to snow near noon. i
reviewed my beloved, and felt urgenter to meet them. i dozed and slept for
more than 2 hours in the afternoon, while baby and ema gaming on pc. after
woke up i got angry with ema for she recently seldom cook vegetables and my
lips suffered&torn by drought, likely lack of green food or vitamin. but i
know that’s all God’s settings, and nothing can harm me. after dinner, baby
played games happily as usual. ema and me sometimes join him when he
requested. the night was joyful. this morning i again dreamy and restless
for urgency of urine. when i got up i found at once its brightly sunny. i
was so consoled by her beaming face, that i picked camera at once after let
pc downloading. i love my camera and my notebook, esp. the sunshine.
this morning i dreamed of my feet infected by 3 kinds of virus, a tall
person likely help me. a swim pool likely in my dream.

last night my kid brother, who worked in south China and with whom i asked
for loan for my second game notebook, almost refused me by suggesting my
applying expense card from bank. i know my request in God’s view.

today its a bright sunny day. i took some photos of gaming baby and the
brightness and its shadows.

update: last night baby’s cold got severer, and heat attacked him in the
night. ema went outside lately to buy white wine and applied to baby’s body
to decrease his heat. this morning already sees the brightness of the
sunshine. God with my Royal.

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{March 18, 2009} 6th snow in lunar 2009, starting life with noteb

yesterday was my first time bring my favorite notebook, *a Hasee notebook*,
to work in office. the morning i found the proxy offered by a women
colleague’s husband refusing connection. i felt its time to do some more
readings into ebooks i collected so many. tech news i enjoyed previously so
much can be followed via offline function of *google* products, like gmail,
google calendar, google reader, etc, all offer offline function, including
this post. i ditched the legend pc offered by QRRS, my once employer, and
cleared my desk for my notebook. in the last afternoon, i started to enjoy
reading ebook on software architecture. but the woman colleague soon visited
my office and dialed to let her husband to resume proxy for me. in the night
baby played pc game all night. we, ema and me, all enjoyed the game with
baby.
this snow, the 6th in lunar 2009, is a surprise for me. for i didn’t felt
too much dirt to cleanse. last noon i got the idea to buy a new game machine
notebook, to name it, a Hasee Grace HP640, which equipped with dvd-rw,
independent video card with 128m memory, 2g ram, just a dreamed box. i
discussed it with ema at noon, but she sneezed at me as usual as anything
concerning money. in the night i tried to contact my kid brother in south
China for assistance but failed. the cellphone number offered by my elder
sister in my home town also in valid. that’s my sunny yesterday.

this snow is sure a blessing upon my idea that i can and should own 2 Hasee
notebooks. one for work, one for game. one for mobile and office, one for
home and entertain. one for me and one for future baby son, warren, God and
*hope of China*, if i depart from him temporarily. i surely will soon see my
second Hasee (the brand Chinese name "ç¥žèˆŸ") notebook toward my biz on the
earth on behalf of God.

yesterday after i got Internet access again, i also doubting if i should
strike a blog entry for my favorite Hasee notebook’s first time accompanying
me in office, but i felt i will spent more time doing research with my
plenty ebooks, and take a deeper attitude toward my presence on web in
coming time, so i gave up. now i know that my most beloved want me to
announce the great moment of our being together in business. i m proud of u,
my dear.

its second time since yesterday i bring *my camera* and my notebook in *one
pack*. i hope i sooner live with my best beloved, girl Masheng and girls
zhous. i live to live with u together and with pure light entertain from
Heaven. that’s my *vision*.

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