benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











May 26, 2016

dreamt of students protest and negotiation. after woz 11 years birthday gathering, last night I slept deep. dreamt likely in Peking Univ I gathered support students and went strike against ruling authority. my passed mother likely there cooked for canteen and listening my appeal for student’s right which is vivid in dream but after breakfast untraceable. yesterday I finally told dorm canteen operator that my salary freezed by bank and I penniless. she admitted my loan for boarding. my support son’s living cost also cancelled, his mom already informed by me when she inquired how I will handle the loan crisis last Sunday, but even worse, I unable to hand over son’s educational plan deposit, 200rmb/monthly as promised. she refused joining celebration I prepared for woz’s 11 years birthday. locked herself in bedroom with her mother. I let my son waited for his mom return from her workplace is a waste. when kindles in position on cake by my son, we ran out of match, nor lighter. I previously intended asking son’s mom to live cast the party via twitter’s periscope but in reality I had to using woz’s nexus cellphone live stream on our own. its aweful clumsy but at least its our first live show. I quickly left my son after the reporting, in the air of contemptuous the evil woman casted upon us. in the night I published our video of the cake party, our monologue. its a chill summer, now its cloudy again in the morning. but its far from clueless. God, dad, bring us lifestyle we enjoy. grant me financial independence, esp supportive for my son’s teenage. bring me my Royal China and my new family to save the broken and sinking PRC in its shrink of deterioration. prepare me for greater event in my life.

May 25, 2016

first dreamt I have extra flesh loosely attached around edge of my feet. I carefully cut them off and my 2nd brother found worms in it. I watched it and saw 2 worms alive and my brother claim he saw more much smaller I didn’t see. then I thought now that I long time can’t gain my master degree in campus I should consider a job for living. I reckoned teaching English and perfect my language skill as mean. my niece asked me shift my tool, a picker to her, I admitted but loathed. then the ground floor of the building, an office of editors of a publish house, full with staff lately returned. when I retreated, I saw a guy on way and though him too poor, so I intended to offer him ¥5 in charity. but the guy shamelessly chased after me and impatiently peeking my purse and attempted using his picker like thief to take bill from it. I took too long to find ¥5 bill and enough by the harassment of the guy and canceled my offer. by a shallowly underground well, some woman murmured what a pity, seemingly I lost a chance to gain from my last kindness. I thought they know something I don’t know but too many possibilities or conspirations led me indecisive and woke up. previously in dawn dream I painted and let my artist friends, esp. Tibet artist Benba Chungdak, check it. he likely respects it. this month my salary reached a historic low at ¥1468, which even can’t cover our living expense, ie. my son and myself. I have anticipated it restored to normal, around 3000rmb, so hard. God, dad, what’s the hell ahead for falling with sinking PRC, poverty and beyond protection of social welfare or civil war’s cannon fodder? dad, God, what challenge I was set in? bring me sooner my Royal China for the salvage. bring me painless through adversity currectly emcompasses me. remove the crucifixion the Son reraised from. I with happiness with the Holy in the unprecedented glory.

May 20, 2016

dreamt of social motivation. in dawn dream I was in team to allocate social resources. I assign reward/award for every personel enrolled, encode frequent used amount into quantity unit, embed short code replacing frequently used long terms like compression in propaganda slogans, which includes Zhao Benshang’s northeastern Chinese folk ballad, 二人转. civil war’s fog topmost heavy in the dream, we do our best to prepare for it. my old family’s enemy, the second husband of my aunt and his offspring, one of them is our neighbor in hometown village Zhudajiu, tempted me comment on his youngest brother’s performance, I said he is kind and popular. my passed mother in dream then asked me about myself, I said anyone knows me respects me. the enemy agreed. my mother glad upon my reputation. the dream is very clear and I needn’t hurry to blog after I woke up. this week I mostly peacefully enjoy silence before change. I watched more movies online, esp love stories which remind me of my broken love in Nankai Univ with a tall Chinese girl collegian, and faultless escort of my crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, when she studies abroad with us. I also bathed more in noon sunshine now that summer weather gradually steps in. Qiqihar this summer peculiarly cold among world report of increased temperature most places on the earth. last night I watched a Japanese episode, life in additional time. first episode about a youth values vocation more important than family and died on site and regret for his family he even didn’t know still loving him. second about common family how hard to find a better commodity like a richer meal in routine life. the good wife risk her life to bring a beef meal for her family before her decrease on rush road for discount meat. that reminds me of my burden in my trying best to support my son a better life so far, lends us to credit deficit. but I don’t regret, and only Christian saves China and Japan. only YHWH blesses world of no shortage but plenty and glory in plenty. out of him poverty and chaos breeds like rats and murders like norm, esp. in Buddhism, confucianism and Islamism, in Asia and Africa. God, dad, thanks for the holy sign of rejoice. grant us a peaceful reunion this afternoon when I dine out my son grill mutton. dad, God, grant me more agile growth in my cyberspace existence. bring me my Royal China and its outline from distant view when I moulding Empire of China. fill my heart with love and brave. thx for the summer morning, God.

May 15, 2016

dreamt of summit. yesterday is exhausting for me after reunited with my son, woz, my most concerned. I told him my new source of confidence, new strategy to cope current hard finance. I brought him dine out with Islamic cuisine with which I again groupon and paid by my credit digitally, our favorite mean of dining out but forgiven this year for credit crisis and slump economy. my son less surprised but maintained acknowledged. I also tried to prepare his smart TV with more functions the android os powered. in dorm in the dawn I dreamt assigned to write speech for boss who will lecture on the summit. I managed separate headline and body of the speech, embed my family domains’ site each part, for more appearance of zhone cyberspace existence. when the summit gathered, the keynote didn’t take place, I only saw the labor union chairman of QRRS, a guy almost same period enrolled by the SOE and more or less acquaintance. I watched far from the hot circle of audience among the party and some QRRS staff playful with me nearby. we gradually retreated upstairs and I woke up lately. I don’t know why I felt so sleepy, but I now have more time to sleep while my whole business stable and in early stage which means more patience. I likely wouldn’t find myself another job to make a living, for I resolved to sit and dwelt with hardest situation in sinking PRC, my vested kingdom. I needn’t another option to flee from my people, my land which so fertile and sustaining. I have vocation and proud of it, which is not weak one nor too feeble prone to protection of peer stable source of feed. I don’t need a second occupation for sacrifice in my main concern, my kingdom and cyberspace startup. that’s my rebirth of confidence from void in wane of hardness these weeks. God, dad, save my nation from broken, save us from starving and scatter of exile. grant me regal life with my son, my girls I entreated so far online. bring me life style we enjoy so far, remove my debt burden step by step when beholding my enterprise online. dad, God, help me live healthy and resilient in my mid-age.

watchwoz 11 years birthday video online

or https://youtu.be/dSJNS8yCMb4

https://youtu.be/fQVEUagAaTM

https://www.periscope.tv/w/1gqxvARDdzqJB

#God #AsohYukiko #dream #life #love

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May 7, 2016

dreamt first about resort in farming field to treat insomnia. my once colleague in QRRS, Chi, a shameless bureaucracy career chaser, also in the farm resort and likely surveillance me. then dream being a rebellion, with his 2 comrades, one titled cloud blade, äºé in Chinese, one titled period blade, èé in chinese. the latter likely betrayed to and murdered by our enemies. I with cloud blade probing the missing of our comrade, among risky mob of rebellions and counter rebellions. its a pale morning since last drizzling night. I missed 2 breakfasts and kept awake earlier not to miss it again. yesterday PSBC local branch buzzed again that its his last call before possible seizure of my salary card if I unable return credit deficit in time in last chance. if so, I would have to make a living alone beside salary offered by my once and long time employer, QRRS, an old style SOE, whose poor salary forces me to loan and miserable. I yet configured the ethic aspect of my financial status, but likely change occurs now, for surviving myself and my son. finding a job always daunting challenge for me, used to be casual and common. lower salary or lower skill intensified, that’s likely a balance I will strike. God, its not easy for a man in his near 50s to be relocated. grant us life we enjoy so far. grant us balance between personal achievement and social contribution. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to boast sinking PRC. bring me affordable entrepreneur for better life and time management.

May 1, 2016

dreamt of Islamic woman and fantastic scene. yesterday dinned in a Islamic restaurant we haunted a lot and where I especially amazed by the hostess by her exotic beauty. in dawn dream I with the woman on a giant dam control unit and watching huge flow. I then on guestbook chose a heroic name as my name. then in a comic movies scene I chatted with female partner and experienced adventure. I again chose a historic name as my signature. I tried to blog but its too cold to open my pc right the moment after woke up. I napped again and in dream I wording details for blog in dawn time. when I actually started to blog on my chromebook half put on, most memories gone. last week busy with reinstall os on wozâs 2 pcs which lagging and likely hacked by government of PRC. lots of data, esp. online games, await to restore before we enjoy the fruit of a cleaner system. one of my credit card issuer, ICBC, warned of possible freeze my salary card before I fully return its credit due. I reported danger of the scenario to my hometown relatives, ie. my elder brothers. they likely mobilized to try to help, but so far result unknown. I badly need ï¿¥9000 injecting to my bad debt to re-enable currency of my credits quota and living cost, while my relatives insisted disabled all my credit card forever, for they donât want to respond with my debt, esp credit anymore. I love my credit card, my websites online. they engage me with workload and manageable. God dad, please allow me cultivate on my vested land. allow me grow vegetables in my backyard. Iâm now in my prime light while aging makes daily work more definitive personally. rid me off anxiousness of living expense, focus me on building and expanding cyberspace reality under Holy affirmative. bring me sooner my Royal China for the better China Empire in 1109 years ahead. bring me my girls and offspring thatâs vital for my destiny.

Apr 24, 2016

dream of my new wedding ceremony. my passed parents prepared me for new marriage. my 2nd elder brother trusted to manage custom and celebration team from the village, Zhudajiu. I saw my parents-in-law, my fiance, who is shy free and visited us the night before rite. I saw clear I never saw here. last week banks’ call for returning credit deficit were frequent. I buzzed my 2nd brother, kid brother and 2nd sister. my kid brother, likely the only one who affordable to help, always felt frustrated upon my conversation or appeal, refuted me 2 times, but finally called me back last Saturday. he got all my credit card number, likely trying to cancel them. he said banks’ call disrupted him a lot and can’t bear it without actively dealt my problem. God, no matter how large the problem, I always look my business bright in the end. but I really don’t know how to return the Â¥70000 in my so pinched situation. this month my salary in 3 serie months as low as Â¥1800. I had to borrow to live up. my son woz last Friday night visited my dorm. we ate grilled mutton as scheduled. I don’t feel like to put him in panic of economic slump. he more and more silent upon my trying insistent life we deserve. God, dad, I want get through hardness alone, with hope and prayer. God, I’m confident my debt, Â¥75000, is not a big sin. help me re-revifying it. this spring chill lingers, and put my dorm quite uncomfortable. bring me sooner summer heat with life we enjoy. bring me sooner my Royal China for grace. save Japan from earthquake suffering, save my crowned Queen, Asoh Yukiko, and show us the union fastenes our 2 nations in close eastern Asia.

Apr 17, 2016

dreamt of my once brother-in-law. this week I restored my 3 dynamic sites powered by web apps. cleaning data costs some time, but godaddy’s cpanel quite helpful and setup quickly. yesterday I demonstrated my work to my son, woz, Hope of China, and confessed how I love my own hut of commmunication, my own publication like the website. this dawn I dreamt visiting my passed eldest sister’s house. my eldest sister commited suicide in her prime time, likely after long time disharmonious with her husband. I love my sister very much and my old family in debt of my sister for her marriage with a worker which life much easier than our in early hardest time of PRC. I dreamt my siblings gathered to visit my eldest sister’s house. on a fork road stop we reach her house, we met our brother-in-law, a widow then in dream and re-familied in reality, trying repair his tricycle. his son, my cousin grew up his teenage in my old family after his mother’s passed by and under my parents’ custody with his younger sister, offer a silent helping hand in the house and delayed there after most of my siblings left for his mom. I tried to blog after got up but memory scattered and I napped again. then dreamt I was forbiddened to communicate with the brother-in-law, but get a “matb” certificate of permission to create access with the past. I also dreamt I on my website considering published a worker’s poems. he is an employee of my once workplace, QRRS. his poems mostly old styled and mirrors PRC old custom. I likely then attending a site owners’ seminar. last week PSBC bank urged me to return overdrawl of my credit card. I contacted my senior middle school alumni and one of them offered me Â¥1000. even I badly need Â¥5000 to facilate fluit of my credit, I can’t blame my alumnus’ poor kindness. I hope step by step break barrier of locked credit. God dad, my web site, esp powered by database and web apps, is my contribution to the world voices. pl help me maintain it and let it booms. grant me renew my hosting plan graceful and reasonablly secured duration. grant us the cosy workspace we enjoy now. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls and my offspring in time. dad, let my dearest eldest sister stays in my heart and forever in love. let the coming history witnesses the blessing her concerned.



et cetera