benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











6/1/2015

bell rings for victory. its like an essay. I dreamt I was a little small girl who orally cites in dream world. she works in a chemical factory or company. she said many old chemical materials after years turns like a thin paper, a blow can destroy it. she has me as her husband and another girl colleague. one day she found her or her colleague had great discovery and turns famous. the girl admires the celebrity so much she decided to show her love. her husband agree to her plan. she bought the celebrity gifts, who accepted and drank with them in the party. the little girl drunk and had to release herself. but mistakenly wrapped shits in huge tissues and stuck inside her clothes and slept. her husband found later the huge shits and help her clean it. her mother-in-law also offers a hand. the shits seemingly not so foul, like bull shits. its likely a small town, small changes in life, steady while boring improvement socially. its likely a victory dream, after so many days hard working against PRC heavy espionage and breaking attempts upon my setup new vpn routers. for deploying the vpn router, I almost pound son’s mom, a stupid moll, with fist, when she forced my leaving while I just in heat fixing. the small woman buzzed police station demanding cop’s visit but delayed or refuted. I waited some time till found hardly able to continue work, then I left. those 2 workdays each almost 18 hours non-break till late night I fought online to get update for the vpn router while sinking PRC surveillance blocked all means. I contact support team of the vpn and got tips quite helpful. last night near 1 am, everything works well, including claimed 2 auxilary mobile phone numbers from Chinamobile for my son and myself, but this morning turn on one router found it update again ruined. God, when I can get rid off this scam in PRC, my vested kingdom? grant us new open cyberspace with aid of new vpn, dad God, grant me access English world and world view of united God’s kingdom on the earth. thx for all breakthroughs and task on going.

27/12/2015

dreamt being in media industry again. dreamt my old career, media. my once colleague, Xu Chuanyou, appeared in office and brag his investment. then I worked as chief editor of media company whose boss is Li Ka-shing. I made lots of efforts on designing skyline scene as new cover image of our new campaign. Li heard my report and arranged support for my promotion. then on roof of the office building, I arranged crew, reporters onto world affair stage. our business booming and I woke up. these days constrained by mis-configuration and can’t access my google cloud engine. one of my site, zho.io, went offline for week after succeeded to patch new security, and then went wrong strangely. I searched the web for fix but misled by tutorial with faults, put my all site and security key vulnerable public. likely the automatic protective mechanism prevents me logon since then. lacking of linux administratiive skill upset me deeply, even sometimes online community quite helping and growth of learning inspiring. the canteen operator’s family gathering again, his old mother, whose manner always repulsive for me, might urge her daughter-in-law, the only woman in the operative team of the canteen I admit, refuse to loan me for return my credit deficit. the operator and his wife both lied when I asked for loan. in holy confidence when I bathed in sunshine after lunch in front of dorm, I decided time to book flight for scheduled son’s winter vacation in my kid brother’s house in southern China. soon with my credit I got 2 ticket of airline. my kid brother generously sent me ¥5000 to cover the expense. with it, I returned historical loan, ¥1400, to the canteen at once and likely let the operator at loss. with year end closing, my son and myself cheered by coming visit southernly.
God, dad, after so many tries I more and more got familiar with securer Internet access. now I enjoy boarderless cyberspace so much. I try my best to cover my son with best education and entertainment online, esp from US. thx for the solid improvement, thx for peaceful workspace here around us. bring me sooner my Royal China to educate more freedom lives on the scarry land in sinking PRC. bring me my girls and our offspring for joy of heavenly. thx fiancial support, esp my respectable credit cards, changes my life so much.

22/12/2015

dreamt of alumni.dreamt just after entrance exam. I frustrated upon my test score and didn’t want to check how it is. then Wu Jiang, my Nankai Univ classmate and long time class leader, berthed upper me, now a professor in US, murmured my enrollment admirable. 3 university enlisted me, including Nanjin Film Academy, which he claimed the only domestic acting school allows students not have to stand to learn every lesson. likely a famous accounting university also enrolled me. Yang Jin, also Nankai Univ alumnus now Canada citizen, also show his envy. then I boost his dignity in his choice university, likely accounting specific, too. I claimed nowadays most important companies employ accounting company for their financial report to stock market, so the accounting market open,consolidate and capable. Yang glad to hear my affirmative. I then enjoyed my success I almost mistakenly overlooked. then Wang Yunqing, a Nankai annumus from northeastern China and now a manager in state mine company in his hometown, whose major is accounting and enterprise management, asked me something and I inspected for him. last Sunday I told my son, woz, Hope of China, God of Universe, my decision to move farer from him, against his mom’s manipulation of his timetable for her profit. I will only visit him on Sunday and just spend time with him for shower and lunch weekly. my son didn’t comment upon the change which will leaves more time alone on him, at least from his dad. we ate toast buffet I enjoyed more and more grilling on my own, but he only ate first several slices and full. in bathroom I bathed him mostly, left him clean shampoo himself. when I alone showering, I felt dizzy and worn arm almost unbearable. escaped from the spa, his mom waited us at home. the woman in unusual weak voice ask my son’s companion after we tried awhile pc games. I left previous before they preparing to leave. in Monday I tried again to add google ads onto my site, agarten.in. failed but knowledge increased on the web app. China surveillance recently frequently hard reset and cut down my physical network about half hour each time, and so on when they can’t afford. the miserable bitch relentless insults frustrations. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to family my children. bring my girls when I empowered for tender and beautiful. grant me pay back more debt to bank, foresee my journey with my son to southern China with my kid brother’s family in lunar new year. thx for the snowing, dad God.

19/12/2015

dreamt getting trouble in hometown of been loved as same gender. dreamt I enjoyed school term vacation at hometown, Zhudajiu. my passed mother appeared in dream. the one of my cousin, quite older than me, punished their daughter who acclaimed in love with me as gay. I was at home and absent from the troubled scene where the rebellion daughter shamed and admitted guilty, but at a distance where I can hear and discuss my confession with crowd around myself. in the mid, the gay I engaged turns to be a handsome elemental school teacher in family name Liu lives neighbor village and whose sister married a villager just near my old house. I defended my emotional innocent. that was dream when I napped after sent my son, woz, to his custody, his mom after a night ported in my dorm monthly. this past week I busy with restore layout and adsense element on agarten.in, one of my dynamic sites hosted on google cloud engine. I made hard and slow progress in situation where frequently programming skill needed while I seldom gained in past career. but it almost done before I fetched my son after his swim exercise near 7:30pm in downtown Qiqihar. waiting since the afternoon put me relentless. I also tried new steam games before my son can join in his descending my dorm. in the chill on bus stop I witnessed so many young persons in their prime time while I prayed for a young wife so many years. with my son we did quick shopping in Walmart, in which slumppy economy put less customers at scene and we first time didn’t queue to check out. we still spent near ¥300 there, including foods, pillars, and hardware tool I admired long ago. in nearby KFC, we ate deliciously and left prompt. settled in dorm, my son tried games I prepared for him and myself. he forgot bringing glasses with him, so I took him away from screen soon and urged him played his pad games for the sake of his sight. he has huge update list and till 1 am I got up powered down the dormroom. I also found his quilt needs rearrangement lest uncover his back and body. its my fault to urge him put more of rest quilt between us on same bed rather than allowing it slides onto ground which usually dirty and spilt with water for we clean our feet with hot water before bed. next morning I sleepy while my son got up early around 7am after a late night before 11pm. he urged to leave first for he dislike the tentatively separating us tiny woman, his mom, would arrange electronic music lesson again upon his late return. I took taxi after KFC breakfast and at his mom’s house, he soon took away to swim exercise by visiting grandma’s companion. returned to dorm again I tasteless and gave up fixing site’s adsense problem and napped, after cleaned my room, ventalized indoor. dad, God, my life here lends where for glory? I don’t know. I cherish moments so much with my son, and prepared them heartedly, but more and more an even brighter shift ahead turns clear. dad, God, let me fulfilled with joys there when the Son’s glory deserves. bring me sooner my girls when I mates, bring me my Royal China when that matters the earth event. thx for the cover of dream, dad, God, for message in this sunny afternoon.

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