benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











{June 28, 2008}   heavy rain most of the day
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these days seriously engaged with gaming. most of free time spent gaming on pc with baby or attending games downloading. baby demanding when playing games, and sometimes can be annoying. i sometimes find pleasure on chatting with home town youth online. they r fighting for making a living, and i can see more talent young persons leaving the mountain village in central China.
these days in office i still had to defend myself when reading or just stay in front of the desk. the facing colleagues and they all around likely the source of my inconvenience. i sometimes also felt worry for the criminal around my family in nowadays perished society. but each time i was lend to the faith to God, even in such a insane environment i can’t live in faith without doubts.
that’s my life recently. i felt hard to catch up with the publish speed of new games but i try my best not to miss a good game, anyway i can have a try. hope u all enjoy life in this times.

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我國古代把天空裏的恒星劃分成為“三垣”和“ 四象”七大星區。所謂的“垣”就是“城墻”的意思。“三垣”是“紫微垣”,象徵皇宮;“太微垣”象徵行政機構;“天市垣”象徵繁華街市。這三垣環繞著北極星呈三角狀排列。在“三垣”週邊分佈著“四象”:“東蒼龍、西白虎、南朱雀、北玄武”。也就是說,東方的星象如一條龍,西方的星象如一隻虎,南方的星象如一隻大鳥,北方的星象如龜和蛇。由於地球圍繞太陽公轉,天空的星相也隨著季節轉換。每到冬春之交的傍晚,蒼龍顯現;春夏之交,玄武升起;夏秋之交,白虎露頭;秋冬之交,朱雀上升。

朱雀、玄武(黑色的龜蛇,武是龜蛇之意)、青龍、白虎又分別代表了四方的二十八宿,龍是東方的七宿——角、亢、氐、房、心、尾、箕,而這七宿的形狀又極似龍形,從他們的字義上就可以看出來,角是龍的角,亢是頸項,氐是本,而是頸根,房是膀,是脅,心是心臟,尾是尾,箕是尾末。

還有在龍心的部分,有人稱之為‘大火’的,跟晴雨有關,又因為青龍屬木,所以也是木星當年的年太歲。而在道教興起之後,這些四靈也被冠上了人名,便於人類稱呼,青龍叫‘孟章’,白虎叫‘監兵’,朱雀稱‘陵光’,玄武為‘執明’,而在眾多的朝代中也有一些君主取青龍來做自己的年號,如三國的魏明帝就是一例,而史記中也有關於夏朝是屬於木德的朝代,所以他有‘青龍生於郊’的祥瑞之兆的記載。

農曆的二月初二,民間稱“二月二,龍抬頭”,象徵著春回大地,萬物復蘇。天上“龍抬頭”的同時,春天也慢慢來到了人間,雨水也會多起來,大地返青,春耕從南到北陸續開始。民間諺語有:“二月二,龍抬頭,大倉滿,小倉流。”之說,把二月初二定為“春龍節”。

白虎也是戰神、殺伐之神。白虎具有避邪、禳災、祈豐及懲惡的揚善、發財致富、喜結良緣等多種神力。而它是四靈之一,當然也是由星宿變成的。是由二十八星宿之中,位西方七宿:奎、婁、胃、昂、畢、觜、參。所以是西方的代表,而它的白,是因是西方,西方在五行中屬金,色是白的。所以它叫白虎不是因它是白色,而是從五行中說的了。

除了道教中的四靈包括了青龍白虎之外,連在風水師探勘墓地時,在地形前方左右兩邊突起的地形,可以當作墓穴的地方,都有獨特的稱號,稱之左青龍、右白虎,取其護衛之意,而在公堂中也有相同的裝飾,在左右堂柱上繪有青龍百虎,以其鎮壓邪靈。而在道教興起之後,龍虎被借用為道家煉丹的術語,就是指"鉛汞、坎離、水火、陰陽",等的同意詞。而道家煉丹分內外(內丹煉氣,外丹煉丹藥,筆者才疏學淺不敢十分確定),內丹是就陰陽五行而言,龍陽,生於離,離屬火,故雲‘龍從火裏出’,虎陰,生於坎,坎屬水,故雲 ‘虎向水邊生’,兩者結合之後,一陰一陽,互相調和,稱為道本,都是元神、元精的代表。而另外一種說法是,性屬木,木代表東方,于卦為震,故比為青龍;情屬金,金代表西方,于卦為兌,金白色,故喻為白虎。金能夠克木,故情多損性,而用二八之真精氣,使之交合為一,則金木無間,龍虎自伏而成丹,在人體中則以肝為龍、腎為虎,而外丹則仍取陰陽之意,以龍為鉛,虎為汞。

在古人心目中,老虎是可怕的東西,又是可敬的東西。可怕的是,它會食人畜。而可敬的是因其威猛無比,能夠避邪。而在一些古書中,如東漢.應劭的《風俗通義.祀典》:‘畫虎于門,鬼不敢入’,‘虎者,陽物,百獸之長也。能執摶挫銳,噬食鬼魅。今人卒得惡遇,燒虎皮飲之。擊其爪,亦能辟惡。此其驗也。’古人還認為白虎是一種祥瑞:‘德至鳥獸。’

最初的西天星神是熊和貓頭鷹,但後因古羌族的圖騰在由熊變為龍的時候。而又到黃帝的向東發展時,龍的圖騰被帶到東方,跟‘東方蒼龍星座’合而為一,朱鳥則成了統一南方時鳳圖騰在天國的新居,因兩大部族融合而終於成‘龍鳳呈祥’。作為古代圖騰是東鳳而西龍,作為星象則是東蒼龍而西朱鳥。到周朝以後,封建制度正式確立,五行思想也成熟,把天像重新劃分,朱鳥放到了南方,和祝融火神一起崇拜了。而西方的就崇拜白虎。在部族鬥爭及遷移,西北方的龍向東移,東方的鳳向南移,南方的虎向北移,全國顯示一個大週轉的觀念運動。到漢代五行觀念成了統一的思想,再補出玄武完成‘四方之神’的配套。

在古時《史記.天宮書》‘東宮蒼龍、南方朱鳥、西宮鹹池、北宮玄武。’在這裡的不是白虎,而是鹹池。而鹹池是主五穀的星,主秋季,因五穀是在秋天有收成的,所以就把它放在秋季,但它不是動物,如何能和龍、鳥、龜配成四靈呢?在《正義》:‘鹹池三星在五車中,天演南,魚鳥所扥也。’所以在宋代己提出質疑:‘蒼龍、朱鳥、玄武、各總七宿而言之。至於鹹池,則別一星,自在二十八宿之外。鹹池還有一個解釋,就是太陽洗浴之所。在《淮南子.天文篇》:‘日出於旸谷,浴于鹹池,拂于扶桑,是謂晨明’。可見鹹池原是羌人視為日出之處,鹹池也就是鹼水湖,應是岷山地區的芋個湖泊,或是青海。由此可證明原始人所崇拜的星宮天象尚沒有青龍白虎的觀念。在《禮記.禮運》所謂:‘麟鳳龜龍,謂之四靈。’把不屬於動物的鹹池換成麒麟。後世有四靈有麟、四象有虎的習慣。

又由於白虎是戰伐之神,所以有多位的猛將被說成為白虎星充扥世的,如:唐代大將羅成、薛仁貴父子等人。除此之外,白虎又被道教吸放,被神化起來,成為了各廟宇的門神。

南方朱雀

朱雀又可說是鳳凰或玄鳥。朱雀是四靈之一,也和其他三種一樣,它是出自星宿的,是南方七宿的總稱:井、鬼、柳、星、張、翼、軫。聯想起來就是朱雀了。朱為赤色,像火,南方屬火,故名鳳凰。它也有從火裏重身的特性,和西方的不死鳥一樣,故又叫火鳳凰。

在古籍的記載中鳳是一種美麗的鳥類,而以它的歌聲與儀態為百鳥之王,它能給人間帶來祥瑞,同時也擁有‘非梧桐不棲,非竹實不食,非醴泉不飲’的特殊靈性,而由於它是‘羽蟲’之長,所以和‘鱗蟲’之長的龍在傳說中就漸漸成了一對,一個變化多端,一個德性美好,就成了民俗中相輔相成的一對,更由於龍象徵著至陽,而原來也有陰陽之分的鳳(鳳為雄,雌為凰)在跟龍相對之後就漸漸的成為純陰的代表了。

而鳳凰它的原形有很多種。如錦雞、孔雀、鷹鷲、鵠、玄鳥(燕子)等等…又有說是佛教大鵬金翅鳥變成的。鳳凰神話中說的鳳凰是有雞的腦袋、燕子的下巴、蛇的頸、魚的尾、有五色紋。又請鳳是有五種品種,以顏色來分的:紅是鳳、青則是鸞鳥、白是天鵝、另有黃和紫的。

而玄鳥的說法就是從《詩經.商頌.玄鳥》說:‘天命玄鳥、降而生商、它殷土芒芒。古帝命武湯、正域彼四方。’中,就是殷商說的後代說自己的先袓-契是由玄鳥生下來的,建立強大的商朝。因此玄鳥就成了商人的始袓了。《史記.殷本記》也記了這段歷史:‘殷契、母曰簡狄,有絨氐之女,為帝嚳次妃……三人行浴,見玄鳥隨其卵,簡狄取而吞之,因孕生契。’ 除了殷商之外,戰國時的秦,滿清的始袓和北韓新羅的始袓也是和仙女吞食玄鳥卵有關的。不論玄鳥或是鳳凰,都是隨道教的發展,而把它由一隻雀鳥,或孔雀或山雞等等…先變成一個半人半禽的、傳人兵法的仙女到完全是人的仙女,都是隨道教的發展的。

而在北京過去就有三座專祀玄女的廟宇,叫九天娘娘廟、玄女廟。在北方和南方的地方也都有玄女廟。

北方玄武

玄武是一種由龜和蛇組合成的一種靈物。玄武的本意就是玄冥,武、冥古音是相通的。武,是黑的意思;冥,就是陰的意思。玄冥起初是對龜卜的形容:龜背是黑色的,龜卜就是請龜到冥間去詣問袓先,將答案帶回來,以卜兆的形式顯給世人。因此,最早的玄武就是烏龜。以後,玄冥的含義不斷地擴大。龜生活在江河湖海(包括海龜),因而玄冥成了水神;烏龜長壽,玄冥成了長生不老的象徵;最初的冥間在北方,殷商的甲骨占卜即‘其卜必北向’,所以玄冥又成了北方神。

它和其他三靈一樣,玄武也由天下二十八星宿變成的:鬥、牛、女、虛、危、室、壁。而古時後的人對玄武它的解釋有以下的數種,‘玄武’即龜。《禮記.曲禮上》雲:‘行,前朱鳥而後玄武…’‘玄武’ 乃龜蛇。《楚辭.遠遊》洪興祖補注:‘玄武,謂龜蛇。位在北方,故曰玄。身有鱗甲,故曰武。‘玄武’為蛇合體、龜與蛇交。

《文選》卷十五張衡《思玄賦》曰:‘玄武宿于殼中兮,騰蛇蜿蜒而自糾。’李善注雲:‘龜與蛇交曰玄武。’《後漢書.王梁傳》:‘《赤伏符》曰:‘王梁主衡作玄武。’’李賢注雲:‘亡武,北方之神,龜蛇合體。’‘玄武’為水神、北方之神。《後漢書.王梁傳》:‘玄武,水神之名。’《重修緯書集成》卷六<河圖帝覽嬉>:‘北方玄武所生,…鎮北方,主風雨。’

但玄武被後世的道士們升級做北方的大帝“真武大帝”。有別於其他三靈。其他的青龍和白虎,只做了山廟的門神,而朱鳥就成了又天玄女。

玄武在宋代身價培增,並被人格化。這與宋代各帝推波助瀾分不開。宋初太祖時,即有真武、天蓬等為天之大將的傳說。未真宗天禧元年,在軍營中發生了一件事。在《事物紀原》卷七載:‘營卒有見蛇者,軍士因其建真武堂。二年閏四月,泉涌堂側,汲不竭,民疾疫者,飲之多愈。’真宗聽說此事,下詔就地建觀,賜名‘祥源’。這大約是中國最早的真武廟。
真武大帝的身世,後人多說是在隋煬帝時,玉帝將自己的三魂之一,化身投胎于掙樂國皇后,厭惡塵世,舍位入武當山上修行,成功飛升,鎮守北方,號曰:玄武

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我國古代把天空裏的恒星劃分成為“三垣”和“ 四象”七大星區。所謂的“垣”就是“城墻”的意思。“三垣”是“紫微垣”,象徵皇宮;“太微垣”象徵行政機構;“天市垣”象徵繁華街市。這三垣環繞著北極星呈三角狀排列。在“三垣”週邊分佈著“四象”:“東蒼龍、西白虎、南朱雀、北玄武”。也就是說,東方的星象如一條龍,西方的星象如一隻虎,南方的星象如一隻大鳥,北方的星象如龜和蛇。由於地球圍繞太陽公轉,天空的星相也隨著季節轉換。每到冬春之交的傍晚,蒼龍顯現;春夏之交,玄武升起;夏秋之交,白虎露頭;秋冬之交,朱雀上升。

朱雀、玄武(黑色的龜蛇,武是龜蛇之意)、青龍、白虎又分別代表了四方的二十八宿,龍是東方的七宿——角、亢、氐、房、心、尾、箕,而這七宿的形狀又極似龍形,從他們的字義上就可以看出來,角是龍的角,亢是頸項,氐是本,而是頸根,房是膀,是脅,心是心臟,尾是尾,箕是尾末。

還有在龍心的部分,有人稱之為‘大火’的,跟晴雨有關,又因為青龍屬木,所以也是木星當年的年太歲。而在道教興起之後,這些四靈也被冠上了人名,便於人類稱呼,青龍叫‘孟章’,白虎叫‘監兵’,朱雀稱‘陵光’,玄武為‘執明’,而在眾多的朝代中也有一些君主取青龍來做自己的年號,如三國的魏明帝就是一例,而史記中也有關於夏朝是屬於木德的朝代,所以他有‘青龍生於郊’的祥瑞之兆的記載。

農曆的二月初二,民間稱“二月二,龍抬頭”,象徵著春回大地,萬物復蘇。天上“龍抬頭”的同時,春天也慢慢來到了人間,雨水也會多起來,大地返青,春耕從南到北陸續開始。民間諺語有:“二月二,龍抬頭,大倉滿,小倉流。”之說,把二月初二定為“春龍節”。

白虎也是戰神、殺伐之神。白虎具有避邪、禳災、祈豐及懲惡的揚善、發財致富、喜結良緣等多種神力。而它是四靈之一,當然也是由星宿變成的。是由二十八星宿之中,位西方七宿:奎、婁、胃、昂、畢、觜、參。所以是西方的代表,而它的白,是因是西方,西方在五行中屬金,色是白的。所以它叫白虎不是因它是白色,而是從五行中說的了。

除了道教中的四靈包括了青龍白虎之外,連在風水師探勘墓地時,在地形前方左右兩邊突起的地形,可以當作墓穴的地方,都有獨特的稱號,稱之左青龍、右白虎,取其護衛之意,而在公堂中也有相同的裝飾,在左右堂柱上繪有青龍百虎,以其鎮壓邪靈。而在道教興起之後,龍虎被借用為道家煉丹的術語,就是指"鉛汞、坎離、水火、陰陽",等的同意詞。而道家煉丹分內外(內丹煉氣,外丹煉丹藥,筆者才疏學淺不敢十分確定),內丹是就陰陽五行而言,龍陽,生於離,離屬火,故雲‘龍從火裏出’,虎陰,生於坎,坎屬水,故雲 ‘虎向水邊生’,兩者結合之後,一陰一陽,互相調和,稱為道本,都是元神、元精的代表。而另外一種說法是,性屬木,木代表東方,于卦為震,故比為青龍;情屬金,金代表西方,于卦為兌,金白色,故喻為白虎。金能夠克木,故情多損性,而用二八之真精氣,使之交合為一,則金木無間,龍虎自伏而成丹,在人體中則以肝為龍、腎為虎,而外丹則仍取陰陽之意,以龍為鉛,虎為汞。

在古人心目中,老虎是可怕的東西,又是可敬的東西。可怕的是,它會食人畜。而可敬的是因其威猛無比,能夠避邪。而在一些古書中,如東漢.應劭的《風俗通義.祀典》:‘畫虎于門,鬼不敢入’,‘虎者,陽物,百獸之長也。能執摶挫銳,噬食鬼魅。今人卒得惡遇,燒虎皮飲之。擊其爪,亦能辟惡。此其驗也。’古人還認為白虎是一種祥瑞:‘德至鳥獸。’

最初的西天星神是熊和貓頭鷹,但後因古羌族的圖騰在由熊變為龍的時候。而又到黃帝的向東發展時,龍的圖騰被帶到東方,跟‘東方蒼龍星座’合而為一,朱鳥則成了統一南方時鳳圖騰在天國的新居,因兩大部族融合而終於成‘龍鳳呈祥’。作為古代圖騰是東鳳而西龍,作為星象則是東蒼龍而西朱鳥。到周朝以後,封建制度正式確立,五行思想也成熟,把天像重新劃分,朱鳥放到了南方,和祝融火神一起崇拜了。而西方的就崇拜白虎。在部族鬥爭及遷移,西北方的龍向東移,東方的鳳向南移,南方的虎向北移,全國顯示一個大週轉的觀念運動。到漢代五行觀念成了統一的思想,再補出玄武完成‘四方之神’的配套。

在古時《史記.天宮書》‘東宮蒼龍、南方朱鳥、西宮鹹池、北宮玄武。’在這裡的不是白虎,而是鹹池。而鹹池是主五穀的星,主秋季,因五穀是在秋天有收成的,所以就把它放在秋季,但它不是動物,如何能和龍、鳥、龜配成四靈呢?在《正義》:‘鹹池三星在五車中,天演南,魚鳥所扥也。’所以在宋代己提出質疑:‘蒼龍、朱鳥、玄武、各總七宿而言之。至於鹹池,則別一星,自在二十八宿之外。鹹池還有一個解釋,就是太陽洗浴之所。在《淮南子.天文篇》:‘日出於旸谷,浴于鹹池,拂于扶桑,是謂晨明’。可見鹹池原是羌人視為日出之處,鹹池也就是鹼水湖,應是岷山地區的芋個湖泊,或是青海。由此可證明原始人所崇拜的星宮天象尚沒有青龍白虎的觀念。在《禮記.禮運》所謂:‘麟鳳龜龍,謂之四靈。’把不屬於動物的鹹池換成麒麟。後世有四靈有麟、四象有虎的習慣。

又由於白虎是戰伐之神,所以有多位的猛將被說成為白虎星充扥世的,如:唐代大將羅成、薛仁貴父子等人。除此之外,白虎又被道教吸放,被神化起來,成為了各廟宇的門神。

南方朱雀

朱雀又可說是鳳凰或玄鳥。朱雀是四靈之一,也和其他三種一樣,它是出自星宿的,是南方七宿的總稱:井、鬼、柳、星、張、翼、軫。聯想起來就是朱雀了。朱為赤色,像火,南方屬火,故名鳳凰。它也有從火裏重身的特性,和西方的不死鳥一樣,故又叫火鳳凰。

在古籍的記載中鳳是一種美麗的鳥類,而以它的歌聲與儀態為百鳥之王,它能給人間帶來祥瑞,同時也擁有‘非梧桐不棲,非竹實不食,非醴泉不飲’的特殊靈性,而由於它是‘羽蟲’之長,所以和‘鱗蟲’之長的龍在傳說中就漸漸成了一對,一個變化多端,一個德性美好,就成了民俗中相輔相成的一對,更由於龍象徵著至陽,而原來也有陰陽之分的鳳(鳳為雄,雌為凰)在跟龍相對之後就漸漸的成為純陰的代表了。

而鳳凰它的原形有很多種。如錦雞、孔雀、鷹鷲、鵠、玄鳥(燕子)等等…又有說是佛教大鵬金翅鳥變成的。鳳凰神話中說的鳳凰是有雞的腦袋、燕子的下巴、蛇的頸、魚的尾、有五色紋。又請鳳是有五種品種,以顏色來分的:紅是鳳、青則是鸞鳥、白是天鵝、另有黃和紫的。

而玄鳥的說法就是從《詩經.商頌.玄鳥》說:‘天命玄鳥、降而生商、它殷土芒芒。古帝命武湯、正域彼四方。’中,就是殷商說的後代說自己的先袓-契是由玄鳥生下來的,建立強大的商朝。因此玄鳥就成了商人的始袓了。《史記.殷本記》也記了這段歷史:‘殷契、母曰簡狄,有絨氐之女,為帝嚳次妃……三人行浴,見玄鳥隨其卵,簡狄取而吞之,因孕生契。’ 除了殷商之外,戰國時的秦,滿清的始袓和北韓新羅的始袓也是和仙女吞食玄鳥卵有關的。不論玄鳥或是鳳凰,都是隨道教的發展,而把它由一隻雀鳥,或孔雀或山雞等等…先變成一個半人半禽的、傳人兵法的仙女到完全是人的仙女,都是隨道教的發展的。

而在北京過去就有三座專祀玄女的廟宇,叫九天娘娘廟、玄女廟。在北方和南方的地方也都有玄女廟。

北方玄武

玄武是一種由龜和蛇組合成的一種靈物。玄武的本意就是玄冥,武、冥古音是相通的。武,是黑的意思;冥,就是陰的意思。玄冥起初是對龜卜的形容:龜背是黑色的,龜卜就是請龜到冥間去詣問袓先,將答案帶回來,以卜兆的形式顯給世人。因此,最早的玄武就是烏龜。以後,玄冥的含義不斷地擴大。龜生活在江河湖海(包括海龜),因而玄冥成了水神;烏龜長壽,玄冥成了長生不老的象徵;最初的冥間在北方,殷商的甲骨占卜即‘其卜必北向’,所以玄冥又成了北方神。

它和其他三靈一樣,玄武也由天下二十八星宿變成的:鬥、牛、女、虛、危、室、壁。而古時後的人對玄武它的解釋有以下的數種,‘玄武’即龜。《禮記.曲禮上》雲:‘行,前朱鳥而後玄武…’‘玄武’ 乃龜蛇。《楚辭.遠遊》洪興祖補注:‘玄武,謂龜蛇。位在北方,故曰玄。身有鱗甲,故曰武。‘玄武’為蛇合體、龜與蛇交。

《文選》卷十五張衡《思玄賦》曰:‘玄武宿于殼中兮,騰蛇蜿蜒而自糾。’李善注雲:‘龜與蛇交曰玄武。’《後漢書.王梁傳》:‘《赤伏符》曰:‘王梁主衡作玄武。’’李賢注雲:‘亡武,北方之神,龜蛇合體。’‘玄武’為水神、北方之神。《後漢書.王梁傳》:‘玄武,水神之名。’《重修緯書集成》卷六<河圖帝覽嬉>:‘北方玄武所生,…鎮北方,主風雨。’

但玄武被後世的道士們升級做北方的大帝“真武大帝”。有別於其他三靈。其他的青龍和白虎,只做了山廟的門神,而朱鳥就成了又天玄女。

玄武在宋代身價培增,並被人格化。這與宋代各帝推波助瀾分不開。宋初太祖時,即有真武、天蓬等為天之大將的傳說。未真宗天禧元年,在軍營中發生了一件事。在《事物紀原》卷七載:‘營卒有見蛇者,軍士因其建真武堂。二年閏四月,泉涌堂側,汲不竭,民疾疫者,飲之多愈。’真宗聽說此事,下詔就地建觀,賜名‘祥源’。這大約是中國最早的真武廟。
真武大帝的身世,後人多說是在隋煬帝時,玉帝將自己的三魂之一,化身投胎于掙樂國皇后,厭惡塵世,舍位入武當山上修行,成功飛升,鎮守北方,號曰:玄武

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{June 21, 2008}   heavy rain in the afternoon
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these days i really felt time rampant. in the morning i spent about an hour just watching downloading to finish. however after a nap they all finished. my baby cried miserably just after woke up. the grandma just slept near him and likely my baby’s dream bothered by the evil near him. he cried so loud that i had to stop my sorting disk to care him. but he in my arms still cried and the grandma took him over again. when i secondly attempted to take him he cling the shirt of the grandma. that let me lost temper and i beat his buttock at once. then baby gradually stopped crying. i then felt boring and started to play game "delta force" my own. soon baby asked to play game with me and we played for 2 hours and more. later he watched Taiwanese baby educational dvd till his mother returned. these days i fed up with the food the grandma cooked so i suggest dining out. the grandma opposed but ema supported me and we launched outside. we ate crisp pies, mutton, beef and shrimps. baby in full energy and haunted outside of the restaurant sometimes. we had a good time. the uncle of my baby near his final exam of junior middle school and had a break since today before taking the grand exam. baby shown extra happiness to hand in hand with his grandma.

that my happy life. ema these days more picky on her clothing. she might in seasons. i trust to my God to care my life, including my relation with her. i really hope i can be engaged with my cyberspace life as usual and find more funny stuff ahead.

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the sun burning this northeastern part of China for days. but it didn’t last. last night ema open the window in the mid night for heat in bedroom. but this morning the sun disappeared and after one or two hours in the morning it started to drizzle and turned heavier near noon. i dozed all the morning, for last night ema and baby haunted supermarket and returned lately. when i finished our dinner its already 11 pm. just after morning work time ema buzzed and let me stay in office now that it raining. i stayed in office, modifying my google group wrong feeds display on dashboards among my google sites. China Internet watch dog let it lagging, often long time waiting for return page, and err-prone on google gadget. it cost me 6 hours merely changing the settings of a same gadget on my 5 google sites, resulting in my painful neck and back. i have no cause to restrain my curses on the trouble-making China surveillance.
its now quite cool. after 2 hours accompanying baby watching baby educational material the rain turned louder outside of the window. i rushed through the rain to home and got wet all over. the baby educational material, original from Taiwan, attracted baby a lot. so i searched for more and found China mainland also producing under the same trademark of Taiwanese, but its taste really shabby and let me upset. there r quite some subtle difference in culture between the mainland and Taiwan. no doubt the winner is the other part of China, Taiwan.
its a nice day, for the blessing rain. i decided to strike a blog entry after baby let the pc idle. i love my life under God’s shine. i love to see more activities occur on my website. i live for better changes on China, the glory bond and scar bundled land.

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these day were bright sunny days since the Chinese traditional Dragon Boat Day. i slept a lot in office, esp. in the morning. i don’t know what frequent doze meant to me, but i decided to let it go, as God’s setting. baby these days liked to try a painting software, refused frequently my request to play large game in which he can’t master those keyboard shortcuts. last night i again dreamed of God’s way and baby moved from his bed aside our bed to sleep aside me. i know God sees. in office the guy who previously a blue collar worker, stayed on his seat reading and frequently challenged me. i sometimes had to defend and blocked his prevailing. the environment was united against me, all local hooligans. they sometimes aiming my baby and tried to threatened me via my baby, but i determined to trust God.
its a nice dusk. i wondering if i play some large game alone, or do some task ahead, and finally i chose latter. i really want to game, but just too busy with normal stuff.
ok , that my day. i will try some games alone, with free time. attached photo was baby in dusk.

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{June 8, 2008}   bright holiday
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its likely the first Chinese traditional holiday the China authority adopted to return to its culture essence. its dragon boat Day according Chinese calendar and said in the day we remember the passed patriot of Chu country, located in my home town Hubei Prov., central China, in about 300 BC. in this aspect i can assert that China history if not stemmed from then at least including history and culture of Changjiang river territory. i m proud of being an ancestor of Chu tribe and nation. my baby’s mid name also exactly Chu, to memorize our ancestor who love war and war machine. ema bought some zongzi, rice wrapped by leave. she then brought baby haunting her mother’s house recently just finished redecoration. i busy with sorting and catalog picture assets newly got from the p2p networks. pc hanged several times since i launched catalog. and now i had to manually adding folder by folder.
its a nice holiday. we enjoyed 3 days vacation. what i can afford for holiday is suffering online. any activities can correlate with expense, which limited me. i tried to chatted with home town folks via qq, a Chinese im, but these days they seemingly hated me and i only got cold shoulders. but i love this holiday. in the morning after ema left with baby i felt boring and dozed. that let me wondering if i was alone after baby and ema left me aside if i would bond with endless sleep. i in fact sometimes review my retired life, for i was left to be idle so many years under China surveillance. i proberbly

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{June 5, 2008}   cloudy days
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these days i dozed a lot in office, esp. in the morning. sometimes most of the morning sleeping sitting on chair. i gradually gave up defense against sleepiness, i even wondered dream was God’s bless for people imperiled. after sleep, esp. after enough sleep i felt peaceful and acute in mind. previously sometimes i doubted in the belief that if i sleep exaggerate then the beloved of mine will suffer sleeplessness. but now i gradually entreat my cares and anxiousness to God, God in my home and nearby me, i felt i should concentrate on my own task here on the earth and do it hard. last time before i fell into asylum, i mainly can’t afford the missing of the girl i loved, and my dearest baby whose suffering in my live imaginary broke my heart likes the last straw on the horse. i love my baby more than i can say. i know he was endorsed with God, all his being on the earth were perfect. but yet i felt i can’t see the evil around him and had to try to extend my protect rid him of dirt and insanity. we live now in a insane family, whose members mostly in dark of hatred and abnormal. they live in years in shadow and shrew and sins. even ema, my baby’s mother, can’t stand in shine. she live in deep dark and shut up for hope of baptism. i don’t know why my baby born in this strange family, where i was cheated and suffered so far. baby, my baby, i know u r God himself. i know u judge and continue to judge. let evil to hell and bright to shrine. God, i know my baby son, my dearest under ur cares and intact in any animosity and imperiled environment. he rise to finish the task of starting our dynasty of 1109 years and hell the evils. God, i m not crying for u help, i know u let me utter here my anxiousness and glorify the process of your son’s rising on this scarred silent land.
this noon when i arrived home, baby cried miserably in the arms of the grandma. he refused my open arms to hold him. i know the evil woman was hell dirty, i know only God cares and protects u now when ur mother and i absent. ema, ur mother, refused my suggestion to care u more in work time, she just too jealous and doomed to suffer losing now and then and forever.
God, show me ur shine and let me live in peace with my task here. i live with my baby and God in him. let he beam and shrined, like morning star on the sky untouchable.

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et cetera