benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











read most time in night. comment on the CCTV party on National Day eve&hurt ema. later tried new games.

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{September 30, 2009}   sorted&dozed&read.

sorted stuff newly got in office. then dozed. dined outside, with beef pies&mutton soup. read a book on the difference among culture of Korea, Japan, China.



{September 30, 2009}   continued posting last blog.

push last blog entry to more family public channels after got up. read in greader. the google browser crashed for several times&quite some google service, like igoogle, trends, chrome dev version download home, etc., inaccessible. also let d/l but slow.



post recent photos, strike a blog entry for my craving for new life. created profiles for riveryog&warozhu at yahoo profiles&fine tuned it. sorted their feeds in greader.



From life as it extends

our city skyline under the brilliant Sun.

From life as it extends

baby son, warren zhu, hope of China, talk to his mom in football game.

From life as it extends

a visiting girl with her pet rabbit.

From life as it extends

baby in football game.

more than a week since my last post. this week seemingly main busy with larger sized games, like "front line: fuel of war", and warez's download. i addict to warez, ie. pirate software, like 0day's release, has been a long time. the warez help me a lot when i worked for my previous job, heading design for a enterprise's cable TV branch. after left the job, i tried to keep with the daily float of pirate warez, but finally got up, for too time costing, as well as source of release in China mainly constrained within forums, which i disliked gradually, in the process of my own identity grows, till today's my web presence. u can google "benzrad" or "benzillar", my most frequent namespace, and the result will show u my cyberspace activities. i had told others many times, here i can again assert, Chinese like intimacy, while western citizen more cherish independent open relation. in general, Chinese have more dark view upon social relation, esp. the society, and indeed they behave morally inferior. that's the reason of its culture's fall in recent history. their native born belief turns darker and poorer than God in Christian. they far less respectable than a civilian of the western.

in the beginning i felt anxious about my access to warez, but i felt the open cyberspace should be the larger reality. and now i see the day. now i quite enjoy web hosted warez, like rapidshare, upload, and lots among the net disk, including demostic. i really glad to see my works in these years rewarding, one reason based on its opening and independence, like my sites and domain. i really proud of them.

this week i more times felt the leaving off my old family, and pending status i beset now. i hope i can left my baby son, warren zhu, after he takes elemental school, and sleeps on his own bed. these years, namely, has been 4 years, his parents mainly holding him aside on bed in night, except in 2006 when i lingered in the dormitory of QRRS, my once and long time employer, a state-owned enterprise, just after i fired for divorce with my baby's mother. i all time praying for a new life, for i think from the start the family of my baby's mother is evils, and never fit for me, far less my Royal in God's glory. my baby's mother let me leave my baby several days after his birth, and the evils family, all left to be female, never enjoy sun light and kept in dark from me, including its financial situation which they likely close-mouthed most. in these years, i never gave up finding myself a new life, a new home for my baby to let him enjoy which house he likes to stay. i also felt i deserve a better routine life, esp. better food and enjoyable life style.

these days i sometimes felt gloomy, esp when its indeed cloudy. i reviewed sometimes my depressed love on beauty, on spiritual knowledge, i felt God wouldn't let me equipped with such a subtle eyes and mind of beauty while don't let me enjoy it and hold in constant reach. i believe God forges me and my beloved, just a case of time in search.

these days i noticed a tall neaty girl walked alone the road of QRRS, my once and long time employer, in its rush time. she likely a new employee of the company. i like her temperament. she likely has a long legs, and slim figure. my heart pumps more air and pray more deeper when i saw her each time, and i at once connect her with my missing girl zhou, the love ignite my web search and beginning of most of my cyberspace presence. i pray God now let me reunite with my beloved, and shift my life span toward a new landscape.

yes, that's it, i wouldn't leak more on it. only God know why i put my hope in it. i live for my pray, for my hope, for my bliss from God, my dad.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…



{September 29, 2009}   dream&read.

dreamed in dawn of gathering with senior middle school almni in hometown. surfed after restored os. read in office offline. roamed&reviewed ema’s family’s evils. hope for new family after again seeing the tall girl walk alone the road outside of my office. also sorted working environment in the os&recent photos. hopefully picasa 3.5 brings lots of handy features for offline operation&shorten time spent online to describe photos&albums.



{September 29, 2009}   os again hacked&gmail broke in.

last night av can’t update its database. this morning found it can’t boot up. last night my google altitude changed while i never touch it. so restored os this morning. p2p site, vercd.com, likely down&i can’t continue to download some stuff.



baby soon suggest to play football outside. i follow them. we played awhile with 3 little girls. then kick ball with his mom just arrived. nice moment. then read all night while ema accompany baby gamed on notebook&succeeded in 2 mission in the game “jets ‘n’ guns”. ema brutal to me when i ask enough food&shown her disgust upon my enjoying food. i pray God to remember her cold-blood&selfishness.



sally sms me last night. reply her. noticed a tall girl likely employee of QRRS, my once and long time employer, an old style state-owned enterprise, passing outside of my office these days. deeper pray for the gathering of my beloved, including Masheng, Zhou, Taiwan girl, etc.read after lunch. dozed before returning home. God, my hope now for a new family strongest, bring me a surprise!



{September 28, 2009}   got up late&let d/l

got up late&let d/l at once. read awhile, gamed with baby awhile. prepared offline reading for read in office where no Internet.



et cetera