benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











{September 24, 2014}   without a desk stable.

24/9/2014

dreamt of my dad.^ dreamt in dawn in a summit I raised a question with audience that if philosophy occurs than any other science. then dreamt my passed dad, God in Heaven now, on a horse on meadow. he then with a rod tamed a tiger or any cat in front of crowd, including me. Its a sunny morning but my heart full of unease. this month my salary continues to decrease, to 1417, while my basic life support needs ¥2100. God, even I felt boring sometimes in days the web didn’t produce much free content, but I barely prepared for a second job to make ends met ahead. it took 2 days before I felt the urgency to fill the gap. last dusk I accompanied my son his swim lesson as his mom entrusted, I roamed in the other city of Qiqihar, in the municipal sports stadium, I considered possibility to find another job.several years ago the problem of relocating presented itself in front of me. I failed mostly because of unable to support interview and its travel cost. then I chose to return to QRRS, who graciously received me but without official job nor tasks. God, now I have 2 mouths to feed while my best job is cultivating my brand online, for emerging Royal China. God, help me out of the losing scene of balanced life. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain my interest and workload. God, blessing me ahead changing.

13/9/2014

dreamt of political experiment in campus. ^ dreamt in campus with master degree candidates to live in fundamental native condition, camping, hunting, collecting, fire-making, cooking, neighbor with wolves lair. later dreamt on my base meeting Deng xiaoping, the last prominent CCP politician, or Emperor of Qing dynasty, with his army. he visited my experiment and praised my research progress, and vision foresight. last dusk brings joys in my heart. son’s mom, a bitch, tentatively turned off my call when I asked to reunite my son after his school, near 4pm. I know she want to upset me and revenge. I prayed & waited till her school over. then I brought my son to dine out as usual. previously my son liked to eat California beef noodle, a fake American brand likely by Chinese overseas graduate, so called Haigui or sea tortoise group. but the cash woman too mean and contemptuous, after several tries to tolerate the bitch and her incompetence being an employee. this time a real Taiwan brand, Dico’s, offers grouponing in the same price of California beef noodle recently. we enjoyed it so much, except waited too long before my groupon been handled by the manager. main reason is the restaurant just opening and groupon service yet streamlined. I affirmed by holy to prepare a budget ¥100 to go shopping in nearby Rt-mart, also Taiwan retail brand, after dinner. but my son watching 3d blockbuster while eating hamburger there, delayed to near 7:30 pm to finish. I didn’t hurry up him. when I suggested him haunting Rt-mart after dinner, he rebuffed it. we took taxi home where his mom yet returned but soon did. when my son settled watching his favorite animations online, I bid goodbye to my son and returned to my dorm. u can call the day smart, but in my view it took hard brewing, planning, waiting before the fruits. God, dad, pay day of my credit card approaching, break barrier of debt and live us free heart.bring me sooner my Royal China to my life still energetic.bring sooner google, facebook, twitter service into PRC, the dying out of sound and fury land. grant me future of vision, simple of understanding state logic. thx, dad God.

7/9/2014

dreamt of driving license test. ^ dreamt crazily obsessed with driving test. son’s mom busy with her step father’s funeral, left me attending my son. I bought other resources to cope the exam. yesterday dawn dream I had my party. 2 of my once colleagues were invited. I occasionally found 2 men look like me and can be used as my stand-ins on open stage.then I made a formal declaration about historic Jun 4 collegians campaign, from CCP’s defame to its due glory and contribution modernizing China’s democracy. son’s mom’s stepfather, a bankrupted man who bankrupted the state owned company under his administrative, died before last weekend. my son was temporally attended by her neighbor in the night. when I waiting to reunite my son Friday afternoon, the neighbor grandma informed me and her grandson invited us to dine out dico’s. I paid the bill, cost ¥162, to treat the young family’s 3 members, and my son and myself. Saturday morning I accompanied my son made progress in video games alone in his mom’s house, till late afternoon she and her mother went through the funeral of the man whose dirty money facilitated them much, and returned. I had to endure starve for canteen, with which I monthly subscribe boarding, out of service and my purse too thin to support me dine out during the lunar Mid-Autumn holiday. God, dad, these weekends so brilliantly sunny, hope u see me through my financial barriers. bring me sooner my Royal China to grace of rebirth of Chinese in its history, to allow my fruitful works booting up new generations of republic of China, and Empire of China presets. thx dad, God.

1/9/2014

dreamt lingering in campus. ^ dreamt discussed thesis with alumnus Chen Xinjian,etc. then picked a young teacher’s bike & ride his little daughter in campus, when lots of alumni approaching for lesson, including our female mentor,Yang Kexin. at first sight I surprised by the bike saddle how small but soon got used. I left my coat somewhere and concerning fetching back. last week I seldom sit down routinely, for my son got heat and cough again. I accompanied him visiting hospital for treatment for 6-7 days, picking him by taxi he liked. one of his doctor said after my visits he turns energetic again. the girl doctor also claimed my son so sick that it takes more than 10 days to recover, but in fact my son recovered within a week since my attending. in the week, I had to ask my 3rd elder sister for financial help. my kid brother offered ¥2000 instead. my son witness the blessing and buy himself a new pair of shoes from amazon China with ¥250, dearest item I bought him. in the week I glad to meet nurses and doctors there, all of them female. I was proud what I do and who I am. but son’s mother, the small woman, at a lose and cursed me frequently. in Saturday I picked my son to watch 3D movie, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. we also registered a member card with the cinema, Dadi, with aid of a bonus ¥300 from QRRS, my once and long time employer, likely for lunar Mid-Autumn Day. son’s grandma stayed in her daughter’s house these days, likely helped pay the medicare bill and earned a position there, while my son’s mother had to sleep with my son on his bed. I always anxious about the insane family of my son’s mom. I asked my son to sleep alone many times. God, dad, these days so meaningful. u brought us safe through debt barrier. dad, attending my son’s steady growth and vital soul independence. now is his first day as grade 4 school boy. allow me to have all my namespace I spelled out. bring me sooner my Royal China as it budding. God, the reality nearer and clearer than never before.

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