benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











Aug 22, 2017

This morning napped on chair before breakfast and delayed and avoided breakfast in dorm canteen. I dreamt long time secret chaser of my dad’s voiceless life coach: the husband of my mom’s close friend, also her niece under surname, Hu. the man over decades been cadre of his village and executed CCP planned parenting decades but he bred more than 6 children, contrary to planned parenting policy, just attempted to copy and overwrite my dad’s glories. I have sibling of 6, that’s long time the source of relentless hatred of the chaser of my dad as moral director. he sent his first son to CCP army in western China and always boasted bribery army leader with local feather food, via long distance parcel express. when my dad passed, the village cadre first hand attended my dad’s funeral and on air joined my phone call, told me I needn’t return to see my dad’s bury, after my mom’s dubious mourning voice in the phone some twenty hours after my dad left us. he chased my dad hard and attracted most of my old family, sometimes includes me, by his cordiality. he must uncomfort in front of my dad, his shinny hero, or mirror of his sinful, his life’s meaning. yesterday long time waited salary released. no more and no less ・3227. within half hour I dispatched and solved it. I managed paid credit debt less to spare to pay more local debtee, dorm canteen operator who claimed in urgent expenditure. I didn’t know if they satisfied for when I went to return money, they absent and his helping dad there accepted. God dad, I tending asking my kid brother to loan me to buy this month medicines. he long time attracted by the cadre relative, and envied my dad’s glories. he even hated me under God’s shine. in my first call back after my dad’s passed by, he talked to me and seemingly hardly hide his relief. now he cover my boarding, ・700 *13 yearly and hated cost even a dime more for my hard credit debt crisis. he took over my all credit cards and then told me he lost all of them. dad God, copycat or hidden enemies, graceless cheap souls, why it hurt us, dad, for they humiliate us? manifest me more on creativeness and sin of stealth. God, dad, my startup, zhone publication online bundled with 21 adorable domains, likely starts its life from my self-prove against my asylum trap. I never expected that, mental disorder after broken heart, or sleepless nights. my world ruined after the record of humiliating. I told my son’s mom when I left the asylum 3rd time and claimed my only job since then would be my blog, my murmur of my meaningful universe. now it all brought about. and enemies of zhone feared. dad God, let justice and revenge in time to wash me, cleanse my glory of dents and dusts. dad, even I don’t promise killings, I do promise righteous weightless baptism.

Aug 19, 2017

this is a sunny morning. I put my quilt outside for sunburn, while since workload I preparing for coming salary. this month I borrowed near ・800 from dorm canteen. and the operative woman urged me to return my debt more for they are in urgency to make use of it. I tried once to contact my elder sister for aid but so far didn’t connect successfully. last Wednesday after I made full backup of zhone publication online, I walked to visit my son midnight, in pains of not attend him so long in my solitary, against risk of unhealthy tendency the dark world trying assert on him. my son calm heard my fear and soundly chose maintain our current life unchanged, except my purposed new weekend reunion once a week, from 2 visits weekly. its the first new routine in place and now I still penniless. in the week the dorm lan administrative attempted to bring down my vpn and in 2 days I barely surfing freedom web. so I prepared for harshed surveillance, installing windows client which more robust and workable as new hub of connectivities. God, dad, I’m in such a pitiful situation that I totally under your mercy. help us and ensure our ward free web. this week passed smoothly, lest my bothering of looking out for my son’s presence, except now when I waiting for financial support to fetch him for monthly reunion in my dorm. dad God, sinking PRC step by step tighten rein over overseas purchase, among which my domain investment endangered for our registrar chosen godaddy against PRC’s lawless tyrant seizure. now they put alipay and tenpay, Chinese most domineer online payment tools, under its account, not only for monetary profit but also for its political advantage. my 21 domain renewal also heavier burden in shrinking civilian income nowadays PRC. dad, whatever is its fate with my namespace accompanies me decade, I choose abide with your putting me on the holy road of commitment and joys. dad God, 2017 summer now turns drier and crisp, golden moment in northeastern China under siberia. God dad, my job and agenda fulfilled so well that I linger here with thankfulness. guide me with larger target and brighter goal in time for achievement brought out by our endeavors already, esp by my son, woz’s. in weeks he will step into his junior middle school. in less promising PRC education system, what I can expect him out of rat race among cheap young Chinese? dad God, cater to him, Hope of China, to expertise of academy and physical skills. his video game skill quite considerable adequate, while his eyesight suffers. protect him from aimless and tasteless. thx, Father.

Aug 9, 2017

dreamt among my old family in my hometown gathering. my youngest elder sister told me my nephew, ie. my passed eldest sister’s first son, least person in my relatives capable of academy, also improving English by learning from his foreign clients, aside my eldest brother’s son who almost mastered English in his self-employed work in southern China. my nephew previously almost a hooligan in local factory. now he owned a small business and totally self-taught English and MBA, while the other nephew graduated from a common college and contacting English during promoting his uncle, my younger brother’s company website, faezrland.net, and engaged in sharpening it in career. I astonished by relation between my old family and English, likely since my passed dad once worked under invading Japanese army occupied our mountain and demanded labor for kitchen fire. In dream I felt urgency to boost my son’s English skill sooner, with blessing tools we now had esp fenceless web. today is my 2nd day employing new routine which seeking avoid sleepiness in morning by offering free morning nap instead. previously I arranged reading news in morning but mostly very sleepy and miserable in buffeting mind exhaust. now I shift rss reading to noon after lunch. after breakfast I just turning on radio and shifted myself to bed as will. my job now mostly concerning reading, watching, ie. informative process. quality of sober time matters more than quantity of time available, so I afford more napping and rest before jumping into work space. God, recent kodi brings so many qualified source of video and audio online, I felt so rich on our stock of information. promise us the viable of our ward free web, shift our focus from method of acquiring to quality of intelligence on which we enjoyed and worked so much. dad God, coming weekend my purse is empty while I try hard to prepare my son, woz, monthly cinema experience in his boring summer vacation. aid us toward the goal. drift our hard time in sinking PRC economy to new phrase of enjoyable staying alive or survival. bring my investment rewarding. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better management of my Royal China. thank you, Father.

Aug 5, 2017

first dreamt likely before graduation when we visited a temple. I got vision that wisdom like underground water resource, connected among different lakes and pools below. I talked with a nun and saw complicated world view. then we packaging for leave the campus after graduation. Xiao Jindong, my lower berth schoolmate committed suicide in his 30s’ for poverty and jobless after graduate and constrained lived on land of his old parents in rural, intended to sent his package via railway and his own traveled among common travelers. I liked traveling with my schoolmates and trying persuade Xiao join us for companions. after nearly a week drizzles, it now left cloudy. yesterday my kid brother buzzed in after near a month after I scorned him for his mean and comtempt to me, refusing loan me ・200 for raspberry pi, he approached for affirming that I still boarding in dorm canteen, and pay due to the small business after months delay. I guessed there must be some good news there in his life, otherwise he wouldn’t be so generous. for penniless I again begged canteen woman for loan to support my dining out my son weekends. she in surprise and asked me to turn in on Saturday when I asked her in Friday lunch. last Wednesday godaddy hosting support team buzzed me for my site infected by malware, I called back and talked twice with them. a man then a female staff received my call online. we talked about half hour, roughly made my claim heard that I was helpless and trust them to deal with possible intrusion and aftermath fixation, all with my poor English. next day my infected web app, forum at http://bbs.zhuson.com , updated to newest version when its due according the app’s official blog a month ago but strangely untouched and vulnerable in most July. I doubt why godaddy lost control so long but still I trusted them till this outbreak led them to fix. now with sounder update, I felt much securer and relaxed.
after returned to bed, dream still in family gathering. I persuade some pals among my relatives to loan me, telling them about my investment, esp 21 domains, and booming future.

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{August 22, 2017}   stand firm and see clear.



Aug 22, 2017

This morning napped on chair before breakfast and delayed and avoided breakfast in dorm canteen. I dreamt long time secret chaser of my dad’s voiceless life coach: the husband of my mom’s close friend, also her niece under surname, Hu. the man over decades been cadre of his village and executed CCP planned parenting decades but he bred more than 6 children, contrary to planned parenting policy, just attempted to copy and overwrite my dad’s glories. I have sibling of 6, that’s long time the source of relentless hatred of the chaser of my dad as moral director. he sent his first son to CCP army in western China and always boasted bribery army leader with local feather food, via long distance parcel express. when my dad passed, the village cadre first hand attended my dad’s funeral and on air joined my phone call, told me I needn’t return to see my dad’s bury, after my mom’s dubious mourning voice in the phone some twenty hours after my dad left us. he chased my dad hard and attracted most of my old family, sometimes includes me, by his cordiality. he must uncomfort in front of my dad, his shinny hero, or mirror of his sinful, his life’s meaning. yesterday long time waited salary released. no more and no less ¥3227. within half hour I dispatched and solved it. I managed paid credit debt less to spare to pay more local debtee, dorm canteen operator who claimed in urgent expenditure. I didn’t know if they satisfied for when I went to return money, they absent and his helping dad there accepted. God dad, I tending asking my kid brother to loan me to buy this month medicines. he long time attracted by the cadre relative, and envied my dad’s glories. he even hated me under God’s shine. in my first call back after my dad’s passed by, he talked to me and seemingly hardly hide his relief. now he cover my boarding, ¥700 *13 yearly and hated cost even a dime more for my hard credit debt crisis. he took over my all credit cards and then told me he lost all of them. dad God, copycat or hidden enemies, graceless cheap souls, why it hurt us, dad, for they humiliate us? manifest me more on creativeness and sin of stealth. God, dad, my startup, zhone publication online bundled with 21 adorable domains, likely starts its life from my self-prove against my asylum trap. I never expected that, mental disorder after broken heart, or sleepless nights. my world ruined after the record of humiliating. I told my son’s mom when I left the asylum 3rd time and claimed my only job since then would be my blog, my murmur of my meaningful universe. now it all brought about. and enemies of zhone feared. dad God, let justice and revenge in time to wash me, cleanse my glory of dents and dusts. dad, even I don’t promise killings, I do pr



{August 22, 2017}   stand firm and see clear.



Aug 22, 2017

This morning napped on chair before breakfast and delayed and avoided breakfast in dorm canteen. I dreamt long time secret chaser of my dad’s voiceless life coach: the husband of my mom’s close friend, also her niece under surname, Hu. the man over decades been cadre of his village and executed CCP planned parenting decades but he bred more than 6 children, contrary to planned parenting policy, just attempted to copy and overwrite my dad’s glories. I have sibling of 6, that’s long time the source of relentless hatred of the chaser of my dad as moral director. he sent his first son to CCP army in western China and always boasted bribery army leader with local feather food, via long distance parcel express. when my dad passed, the village cadre first hand attended my dad’s funeral and on air joined my phone call, told me I needn’t return to see my dad’s bury, after my mom’s dubious mourning voice in the phone some twenty hours after my dad left us. he chased my dad hard and attracted most of my old family, sometimes includes me, by his cordiality. he must uncomfort in front of my dad, his shinny hero, or mirror of his sinful, his life’s meaning. yesterday long time waited salary released. no more and no less ¥3227. within half hour I dispatched and solved it. I managed paid credit debt less to spare to pay more local debtee, dorm canteen operator who claimed in urgent expenditure. I didn’t know if they satisfied for when I went to return money, they absent and his helping dad there accepted. God dad, I tending asking my kid brother to loan me to buy this month medicines. he long time attracted by the cadre relative, and envied my dad’s glories. he even hated me under God’s shine. in my first call back after my dad’s passed by, he talked to me and seemingly hardly hide his relief. now he cover my boarding, ¥700 *13 yearly and hated cost even a dime more for my hard credit debt crisis. he took over my all credit cards and then told me he lost all of them. dad God, copycat or hidden enemies, graceless cheap souls, why it hurt us, dad, for they humiliate us? manifest me more on creativeness and sin of stealth. God, dad, my startup, zhone publication online bundled with 21 adorable domains, likely starts its life from my self-prove against my asylum trap. I never expected that, mental disorder after broken heart, or sleepless nights. my world ruined after the record of humiliating. I told my son’s mom when I left the asylum 3rd time and claimed my only job since then would be my blog, my murmur of my meaningful universe. now it all brought about. and enemies of zhone feared. dad God, let justice and revenge in time to wash me, cleanse my glory of dents and dusts. dad, even I don’t promise killings, I do pr



{August 3, 2017}   in rains and raining season

Aug 3, 2017

dreamt in army or in army training camp. in break my schoolmates asked me to write them a song for talent show but I really in brewing. a quick shooter schoolmate already wrote a song which exaggerate those propagated emotions. when schoolmates trusted my comments, I went straight and dislike promoting normal feelings to sanity. but without show to entertainment those who admire you, can be really
embarrassing. this week drizzled a lot. my quilt turns wet indoor. I continued to make well usage of my new raspberry pi. but buggy rtandroid made a hell experience with lagging and frequent exit and halts. I spent half day to realize its cheap toy and shouldn’t put more load onto it. isn’t its independent running os satisfying? isn’t it hardware essentially for handy computing a real alternative? I found the fact in huge relief and started to enjoy our dear kodi in the night. then I can’t help innovative re-config via command lines rather than GUI to spare nvram on my router for better performance. when all done and went to bed, I doubt how much it worthies while a dearer product will have much ample nvram not to considerate again and again. is my job cheap or funny? or I just educated? this morning when I launched to spare nvram on my router via escaping GUI saving settings, I even mistaken network down. I had to visit dorm lan administrator for help. the woman in charge of surveillance cold shoulders to me and I finally found my fault in setting. near 11 pm my target archived and I called it a day with bliss. while I busy with my todo, some of my environment turned hostile to me. the dorm canteen woman tentatively shown her despise. women in dusk jog also reserved for my appreciation. I’m getting old and they shame of my humble and empty promise. many secret plots against me among hooligans around. God dad, I didn’t see my farewell show and nobody deserves to probe. dad God, I was contented with my life here with hopes and distresses. bring me sooner my Royal China with my prosperous offspring. bring Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, for our better life and enjoyable harmony in daily arrangement. without Japan, without China in future world of economic and sustainable while gracious.

Jul 29, 2017

dreamt invited my son, woz and his mom to go cinema. his mom in anger and after movie abrupt brought my son with her horse left. I had to endure aftermath the reckless woman’s rage, find my horse and in dusk search for boarding. in my aunt, passed years ago without notified me, in her husband village I find a mid-aged villager in his yard offering help. he accompanied us find my aunt’s house, which is usual half empty and sedative. we talked about my family, esp my passed eldest sister who committed suicide in her prime and helped me a lot, her 2 children, her son and her daughter and my obligation and concerns. then I decided to visit possible home my son and his mom might might settled. on way my niece passed by us and offered some sweet famous local feature snack to us. I likely with my son with whom I felt so warm in heart. I recall and chat my son how I liked the feature food and each time never enough in my childhood. its warm pastime of the dream. its a late sleep till near noon for my relax after the week. I’m now penniless while hours late I will visit my son and bring him dining out. last Wednesday I again worked overnight, to settle 2 raspberry pi 3 before my additional case ordered on taobao arrives, and backup os images before put into usage. the week spent in understanding raspberry pi os availability before making our choice to adopt ubuntu, libreelec, and android. in the process I learned more and sharpened my linux skill, esp after 2 failures accidentally deleted home folder with hidden mounted external disks and ruined plugged usb devices most. I had to rebuild ubuntu and multi-bootable disks in the devastation. rebuilding rewards: new os ran smoothly installing gapps on my raspberry pi android, against disk space shortage previously frequent me and failed my many saving efforts. after almost thoroughly perceived the situation of the raspberry pi world and community, I closed my solution and brought it to see my son on Friday afternoon, after felt boring and sleepy in enjoying online stream our lovable kodi brings. woz arranged practicing e-piano at home and glad seeing his dad. in the vengeful small woman, son’s mom’s bully and scorn I arranged my son familiar with his new toy, including new os on it, and my own setup lunar calendar on his 2 android phones for informative lunar weather for the soon lapsing summer 2017. my son immersed in new experience of kodi os, linux terminal mode. in the exciting meeting, my sleepiness evapored and energy fills me with meaningful fullness. I settled like a bean. as to my raspberry pi’s android, I likely left some remnant bugs to fix, but I will cop it with conquering reign and leisure. God dad, this morning dream really strange and surreal. bring me sooner my new family when I enliven with it. bring my crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for our vested territory on eastern Asia, for our people and homeland. dad God, grant us affordable cinema experience this month and next around woz’s new school term, which his start year in Junior middle school. grant us to visit Walmart local market with adequate purse capacity. we enjoyed the sale giant trustworthy so much!

Jul 21, 2017

dreamt in my hometown in a camp. first our village under huge refurnish for tourism. my dearest passed dad, mom, both appeared in dream. there was a town hall just under my dad’s old house and in a row of houses there was performance and performers from nearby villagers. there were herd of visitors. then found I was in a travel delegation, in which quite some photographers members, inc girls. we managed to lift ourselves via a lever to higher level. in our team there was a girl film fan closely collaborated with me and we almost led to friend. my sinful elder cousin of my uncle’s family, who worked for government long time, again in his separation and kept aside from our villager’s ongoing emerging new business. its a sleepy morning. I felt sad why I recently so sleepy in the morning, which so
irresistible, arbitrarily and concludes without delay. that reminds me my 2nd elder brother’s habit in which he can sleep anytime and any occasions in minutes when spared. I long time wondering why he behaves so, and now the same symptom likely happens on me. and I more and more saw boring’s power overwhelmingly stops a working mind. Just now a cop called in for my PSBC credit debt. he urged me to call him back but I wouldn’t. God dad, they don’t wait another 2 month when I will clear bankcomm’s debt and starts to return ccb and psbc’s. as to recent works, its quite fruitful. my ordering woz a raspberry pi 3 leads me to research other oses like ubuntu, libreelec, rt-android, etc. the linux based home media center, libreelec at once attracted me, as I was in process equipping my son a better living experience including TV and other entertainment. sooner after found it working to provide reliable source of online stream, I deployed it onto my desktop wintel, chromebox, and raspberry pi. with knowledge of online community and powerful google, I soon turned my chromebox into dual booting chromeos and libreelec, cheap but viable. my nephew, ie elder son of my youngest elder sister, loaned me ¥230 to buy raspberry pi for my son, but refused me another order 2 days later to update air drier powders against wet dorm near toilet I laid on taobao.com. so I turned appeal to my niece, ie first child of my eldest brother, his daughter, for loan to buy myself another raspberry pi. it succeeded with some trifle exchange of view over credibility of PRC’s software mostly shamelessly preying its user base. and this month salary barely satisfying, near ¥3300. I mistakenly paid back ccb instead of bankcomm to whom there is a debt under ¥2500 and can be cleared at max 2 months within. last dusk jog I review my lingering naps and saw my wondering dream of a new family, a real family of my own in which I authorized, catered to my relatives. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to support my new family. bring my girls into new reality shapes new eastern Asia. grant me free of debt and joy of living.

Jul 12, 2017

summer 2017 turns much milder after many small rains. and my room window again gathers lots of bugs. yesterday I delivered our first raspberry pi 3 to my son, woz for his study. we managed install it. after 2 failures due to file system format misconfig, we boot it up with noobs 4 on tf card formatted by my chromebook. in the harsh process debug, we amateur damaged a 16GB tfcard and had to use his 32GB tfcard for his portable boombox instead. such a elation after saw raspberry pi interface! after let it downloading Rispbian I left it to my son and arranged he sit in front of TV and returned to my dorm. a thunderstorm just left and air outside freshly crisp. last week boosted by improved salary, we ordered several inspiring goods online, inc 2 seat cover made of cooler materials for summer, a backup vpn router, and raspberry pi 3. my own have an order for replacing used air drier powder made in Japan in my QRRS dorm, 3rd time replacement order with the same vendor on taobao.com. my credit debt near clearance to bankcomm.com after this month, and my total credit debt to other 2 banks mounts below ¥40000, a great relief for me. in this regard, I more and more thinking my long term ownership over zhone 21 domains I cherished so much and indispensable. I also saw decades hereafter my life and investment and intelligent property registered. God dad, put me anxious free upon stealthy CCP and robbing vicious human population competition pressure. promise me my vested Royal garden and shadow of trees and plants, song of birds and bees. this dawn dreamt a lot about prominent global topics, which now in evaporation. last night I in deep content after watched episode on amazon, for faith and pride. God dad, I’m in no one’s enemy when I in holy bliss. target me in your future mission all world gathering bravery. if cheap souls can’t discipline themselves, the chosen does. let America acts and makes adjustment at will, like Trump did for US, graciously and arbitrarily as whole family as vocation. dad God, people nation and shrine of Holy lending its way. grant me the breakthrough toward new land and territory that renew our old oath and blood bond in eastern Asia. God, bring me sooner my Royal China and Asoh Yukiko, my crown Queen from Japan. lives me another child and a family here.



et cetera