benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉

{October 31, 2013}   being anticipation.


dreamed of Hongkong movie stars.^ last week full of anxious about broken download and harsher Internet censorship under sinking PRC. this dawn dreamed lengthy about 2 Hongkong movies stars and once couple, Zhang baizi and Xie Tingfeng. their broken marriage, their 2 kids, their mafia parents behind the curtain as backbone, the dark Chinese culture under closest management of English on the tiny island before 1987, history and future of Chinese society, etc. Chinese problem long time is my concern, I tried to find a solution for cheap mob of Chinese. in the dream I closed watched the 2 movie stars’ living, trying figure out metaphor of the living, but clueless. God, lead me in cleansed faith of change in bliss. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain my work here and there. Golden morning now, God dad, inspire me in ur holy presence.


complacent in warm indoor late autumn.^ last week totally awesome. my salary reached ¥2700, renders me in wilder joys. with it I finished improving my son and myself living budget to 650 RMB per month. I also increased payment for son’s mom washing my clothes to 150 monthly. I also offered the woman 50 in cash in her doubt, but buying not appreciation but resent: harsher curse upon my happy time with my son in video games, tentatively buy me a woman soap while I asked her twice to replace my worn soap with Safeguard which includes anti-virus ingredient for my sometimes itchy skin, and already with her promise in previous contacts. men in our contacts also got hurts. the fruits vendor with which I handed in ¥50 and so much each coming month for subscribe weekly ¥10 goods from the shop ran smoothly with the vendor herself, except her husband hurt and likely plotted to defied our kind proposal. the barber’s service also deteriorating or boycotts, in his clueless over self-proud likely boasted by lingering local mafia in the public bathroom. God, here is my prayer this pale dawn, nothing hurts me, in the light of glory bounded with my ancestor, with my vested Empire of China. God, dad, save my people from sinking PRC. bring me sooner my Royal China to attest presence of holy history and grace inside. thx God, dad.


dreamed of workplace. ^ Dreamed closely watching Li yanhong, founder of and an once oversea student. Dreamed I just released from restrained and picked my kid daughter and trying making a living. I visited my high school alumni for help. One of them, a Chao in surname, doing post-graduate research and likely operating a advertising company, ignored my situation in his office where a research paper on the desk and woman staff gathered upon advertisement design. Then dreamed in Li’s company, a search engine, interact with the founder, his recruiting, his personlity shows in his doing things. It’s a moisture and foggy morning, in which I saw bliss and gracious joy. God, dad, grant me sustainable workspace to enjoy growth or progress. improve my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, his common sense base on solid world experience. thx, dad, pl budget my new plan for living standard in coming years, in my salary due to release today.


a bluntly sunny day. ^ I’m enough thankful after the dorm’s water warming system satisfying, for chill in night still a clear memory a week ago. this dawn dreamt living in a Brazil middle school where including quite some Chinese kids. They compete with Spanish students. Then in a team to rescue hostage, likely a VIP-elect, I with 2 girl students thrown bombs to clear blockage. we tried it several times and I insisted save our tactics as a configuration file. after got up I visited my son, who recently a bit loose on video games we immersed so many time before. all the morning he tried his new favorite game from his favorite Japanese comics’ influence, card game, ie. "Magic: The Gathering 2014". I watched some time then busy preparing his pad with new andriod games. the Asus fonepad quite tricky, frequent hangs during copying files. we barely tried twice co-op missions in video game "foul play", before we headed to lunch out in dico’s franchise in nearby railway station. my son want sooner to watch 3D cinema with his mom so he reluctant to shower with me as usual. I insisted our routine till I mistakenly handled a paper cup of hot juice and spilt half onto my son’s pants. my son still gamed quite some time on his pad in the restaurant before we returned to his mom’s house. I prepaid fruit vendor ¥50 to subscribe weekly supply against my leaking and usually pinching purse on way, as planned recently after my salary last month arrived ¥2300. I prepared my son a fresh persimmon before went to shower alone. all day the sun is faultless but smoky air shadows. my mood is gloomy for I sensed my joyful reunion with my son weekends hurts demon eyes, which trying hurt us back. I also in dark of economic situation in this eccentric corner of sinking PRC. God, Asoh Yukiko, bring me sooner my Royal China to host my son, and my children to arrive. dad, God, in the smoky day I pray inspires on skyline from ur holy spirit. thx, dad.


Dream of computer exam.^ dreamt watching Zhou Hongwei, founder of, a notorious IT company in sinful PRC, and his work. he talked about his work and vision. then in computer exam he turned every question into lengthy exclaim, while I in my second thought only explained simply within the answer. the dorm got heat yesterday, much better staying indoor now. but tap water out of service for 2 days, so foul smell all over the building. beasts in the dorm frequently revengefully left their shits un-flushed after poo, so it might be a lesson for their shameless behavior. last afternoon I buzzed my 3rd elder sister in hometown, talked about family and my missing our last vacation so gleefully with my son there. God, pl allow me sooner host my guests, including my sister and our relatives. bring me sooner my Royal China to home my children. God, common sense is my only weapon against dark ahead. God, shine over my Royal China in the coming darkest night before dawn in PRC. thx God dad!

From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze

{October 14, 2013}   new height of skyline.


an Autumn night drizzle. ^ yesterday full of joys with my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲. I visited him on time in sunny morning, after the annoying drill noise waked me up when the dorm recently under refurnish. we played video games and made proud progress. we dined in Dico’s franchinse original from Taiwan. we showered. we bought dates, oranges and plums and enjoyed them very much. I also offered my son’s mom a favor by enabled wifi access point for her students get tutorials there. I also saw beautiful females I concerned. I first time in this Autumn put on a long johns and felt comfortable at once against chill. when I roamed outside of dorm, I saw pale half round moon in sky. after I settled in front of my notebook in dorm, it started to drizzle in dusk. most of the night I rambled in dorm and reviewed the wonderful day with my son, in the rain rhythm. God, u know why lucky my life with girl LYu, my love for rain and raining. God,bring sooner my girls to allow me satisfy them, enrich my life with love with my girls. God, dad, in bizarre and humming drizzle, my Royal China under ur shine. thx, dad.


my birthday. ^ Dreamed living in a Japanese home, in surname Koda 倖田. I was likely the son, talking with mom who in kitchen while I watching in waiting room. I found an undisclosed sex book or tape of a celebrity, who in a trade for convenience. When I tried to copy those erotic photos the book gone. But after some time or years the copy reappears. The dream likely related with Asoh Yukiko, I sensed my longing and dependence on her more and more stronger this years. Then dreamed in our hometown my brother-in-law’s nephew competed smartness with my son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe. Then dreamed with my cousin leading kids in village on our Hill, search gravestone to break. It’s about 4 am. I tried to blog & memorize to blog. 2 later lofty dreams evade me. one haunts again but finally evaporated. my son and my grand father appears in the dream. my son likely unsatisfied with our current situation but my dad inspired us with steady hope. its my birthday today, I will bring my son ate toast buffet for dinner. God, recent weeks it got colder, my heart also weighted with old clothes and insufficient heat in dorm. while I enjoyed so much video games with my son, God, dad, please allow me more time to accompany my son’s game play, not inverse. God, so splendid our life has been, please don’t spoil our expectation ahead. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girl LYu, Asoh Yukiko, my girl Zhou, my girl TW, bring me home to attend my son and my children arriving. God, dad, thx for this hopeful sunny morning.


Busy days. ^ these days busy fixing son’s notebook which recently virus infected. This dawn dreamed I try to invent 3 something. One for my work, the 3rd for the dorm canteen operator, a woman with her son first appeared in my dream. In crowd of a hall she invited me demonstrate the selling machine I invent. I also likely dreamed my Tibet friend, Bianbaqiongda. It’s getting cold, esp in coming national holiday for most residents left the dorms and canteen out of service, let me starve or spent more in restaurant. The bitch, son’s mom, accuses more and scorned harsher, a shame over my Royal China. The insane the little woman brought not insult me but my family. God, you know my situation and its history. You know what’s for all these cheap persons in my life. Bring sooner my girls into my new family, God, let my life easier with beauties! ThX God.


prepared. ^ Yesterday is blessing, my salary reach ¥2327,which allows lifestyles we planned. When I handed in deposit for canteen dinners & lunches, I felt healthy relation between those operators & me. I also treated myself fruits I always liked. This dawn I dreamed on heel of a professor who tried to design a teaching building in camps alone while his ability too green-handed for the task. he burned brain to copy others blueprint and I in the dream finally got insight on originality stems from knowledge. Then dreamed with my son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe, learning something together. It’s a due post & in days I prepared it. God, such a bright mooring during my blogging, ThX dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, esp Asoh Yukiko, my Crowned Queen from Japan. Last night I reviewed our days in Nankai University in 2000,God, since first encounter we belong to each other. God, these days gays surround me, block my sight of beautiful. Dad, save me from insanity, home me with my girls praying me so long like I did so long in my blog. Today I will be with my son, who in break on Tuesday afternoon. Grant us holy spirit in gathering, in video games we enjoy so much. ThX God dad.


strange dream. ^ in dawn a lengthy dream till I got up to pee. I saw the dream protagonist with his large relatives married Ma yun, founder of Ali group ( and a billionaire now, the wedding ceremony is very luxury, Mr Ma also spent lots of attention to make it a special spectacle and gorgeous. Then dreamed of my campus friend, Bianbaqiongda, a Tibetan and graduated from Tianjin fine art college where we got familiar with zealous on western fine art. I dreamed we enjoy staying, while actually we did not contact each other for more than 20 years, soon after I worked for QRRS, thousands miles from Tianjin. Yesterday was great, I talked with my son effective as usual. We spent more time in Dico’s franchise in railway station before went to shower. There among travels he played video games on his pad. I asked a neighbor girl shot a photo for us. Before I left his mom’s house, I persuade the woman leave our son alone to do his homework, for her companion & monitory is ineffective. It is so nice a day. Thanks God dad!

From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze

et cetera