benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉

{July 22, 2013}   gaining sands.


dreamed of flying. ^ my passed mother appeared in down dream. she likely welcome my son. then we hanged in a library, where warrenzh tried to hide his shoes among books. then the hero, the protagonist in dream flying over river styx with a branch of tree. he had to constantly cut off creatures attempting attach to the branch traveling high speed. he is legendary hero in the dream, like Titan or Apollo. last dusk I didn’t visit my son, but rested a long time in QRRS Dorms’ garden. I enjoyed the breeze and sky and trees on the bench. I reviewed experience when I trapped in asylum, where some kind woman doctor and nurses treated me well. I saw environment for mental patients decaying and more and more mental disordered patients canned in highly condensed space, worsen their recovery process. last Sunday my son enjoyed video game, "Heavy Fire Afghanistan", with company of 2, including me and visiting girl relative there for his mom’s English tutorial. we broke 3 levels, or completed 3 missions. God, hometown tour is near, grant us a successful journey as planed and budgeted. bring me sooner my Royal China, my family life after near 8 years’ singling out. thx Dad, God, in thise sunny morning.


dreamed of divorced with gay. ^ last night I again exploded with the bitch, my son’s mother, a cheap soul with bad tempers, when I tried to play video game with my son while his mom forced him to practice e-piano with which he always reluctant. the night is blessing, for new clothes for our hometown tour prepared by my nephew, who operates a shop online, arrived. we enjoyed short pants, son additional with his T-shirts, in great joys. after we put on, son suggested hangout, we caught in drizzle outside. I asked my son, Hope of China, God of Universe, his forgiveness if I misunderstood his ordain, and he allows it. the rain since then till this dawn. I dreamed in dawn I was engaged with a dog soul, my son’s uncle who once joined PRC’s army, and threaten me when I quarreled with his cousin, my son’s mom, when we just in engagement, for she disrespect my ring for her. his family prepared quite some fortune to bind his marriage, but I, in the dream protagonist, dissolved the engagement before wedding. the dog family all at a loss in their failure to cheat to maintain a relation. after woke up in dawn rain, I saw clear time to ditch my son’s Chinese mother turning riper and riper. my nephew’s help is a good start and an icon of change. my son asked to sleep when his mom monitored practice ended, just before I invited him to play game again but refused by the bitch woman. God, save my son from incompatible in his parents’ marriage, keep him united from conflicts &apart. bring me sooner my Royal China, esp. Asoh Yukiko, my Taiwan girl, my girl LYu, my girl Zhou, to home my princes and princesses. God, dad, haul sooner the dirty house off my son and I was set in for more than 10 years. thx dad, in this beautiful raining morning.
napped again after breakfast in rain rhythm, dreamed my parents, esp. my mother as hostess, welcome a world election of pongtiff among kids. I busy with something and later curious our kids, ie. my kid brother, my nephew, or my son, their luck in the election. the chosen is a kid of my other relative. when I teased my kid in my dream, he upset and throws steel lamp plate at me, which let me laugh till my sides split. I saw my hope in my son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe, in the end before I woke up. that’s my faith unshakeable. God, thx the plenty rain of batism. grant us a smooth hometown tour in next month.


dreamed of being prodigy. ^ recently busy with setup my son’s new smartphone and rarely nap. in this noon nap I felt loneliness as a prodigy, or my son’s, being incomparable gifted son. my grandfather saw us when I or my son experiences being genius and the huge sadness of loneliness singled him out. the protagonist learned to sew with the grandma, his great findings in math, his unable to be recognized by peers. he was constrained in loneliness within his family. fortunately his dad and grandpa both sees the situation of the son and help with his best. Its a brilliant afternoon. I’m recently so happy with our first smartphone, a moto xt778, that constantly in high mood. my son, equipped with his first gear and second cellphone, spent lots of time tried video games on the andorid smartphone. God, u see our passionate and merry in the world ahead of our pinched situation, esp financially. God, dad, grant us peaceful mind with elated emotional life, esp. in coming hometown tour, my son’s first since his bare open eyes. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to home my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, hope of China, God of Universe, and my children arriving. God, thx.


dreamed of preparing a wedding. ^ in dawn dream I programed automatic broadcast of a living wedding in a TV station, like I once did. the wedding is very important and I want it perfect. but before the firework session the transition was unsuccessful. I tried to make it work correct but my workmate gave up for their clumsiness, and switched manually to let it runs. I hate manual operation but admit chance of testing run out. yesterday I first time thought about how to make use of remnant of fund for coming hometown journey with my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, as after familiar with travel portal online like or, I found in time bidding can save lots from flight order. cheap flight cost only ¥1100, comparing regular price 1600 RMB. and my another senior middle school alumnus promised offer us flight of return for free. I researched tablet, smartphone and finally attracted by motorola XT778, with which I bought online soon and prompt. then I visited son with the good news, also hoping our new xbox wireless gamepad bought earlier online arrived. but it didn’t. my son peacefully accepted my gift for him, but he reveal his first consideration of wishlist is a tablet, among smartphone, digital camera and tablet I promised him in his youth. I beat him in video game "Might & Magic: clash of heroes" and he cried miserable, before his mom forced us to hangout, and glad to allow my leave after triumph over me when we returned his mom’s house and retried the pc game. I offered 2 homeless men some small changes on way. it drizzled when I on way returned to QRRS Dorms. God, this week full of hopes. pl allow feast of us reaches us sooner. thx God, dad, surely u grant us a smooth and graceful hometown tour.

From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze

{July 2, 2013}   far as central.


dreamed of bastard cousin.^ due to the coming hometown tour, this dawn I dreamed of my cousin, a long time bureaucracy after being dean of local elemental school for years. he is very sinful, cheating &coward in front of VIPs while bully the common, and made fortune in the poor village. I dreamed he want spoil my hometown plan with all means he has access. later he summoned his 3rd son and his only hope, to block our journey. the young beast did many bad things trying ruin our happy tour. last dusk I visited my son, who was brought by his mom to dine steaks. the rain started since I waited outside of her house and it kept me an hour watching the feast of nature before I reunited with my son. there I first time scrutinized price of our flights: more expensive than my impression before. my son’s mom queried the loan supporting the tour and at a loss in her bitter competition with me for gifted. my son played alone video game while I studied online. after returned to dorm, my anxious on uncertainty or failure in tour turns clear: we only need 2 hotel nights in Harbin, capital of our province, then we wouldn’t miss any plane either Harbin nor Wuhan, ie. we need another ¥1000 until we enjoy the travel graceful and enjoyable. God, dad, grant us a smooth tour to allow my son familiar with his old father family. bring me sooner my Royal China to homeland my relatives. thx God.


dreamed of hero’s sadness. ^ in dawn dream, I was a lonely hero, trying to protect his son and concerned. there r many brutal enemies hunting after him, fought me with herds of gangsters. a short bad guy leading them, his weapon is a short sting or dagger. the sadness of the hero, his love to his baby son, his kind to the world around him, is immortally large. but conspiracy of dark personnel was so huge that drove the hero in bloody &savage exiles. its all like a movie, so doomed that woke me up and see God’s saves in every lives that’s true and meaningful. I pray God’s mercy upon heroic people in sinking PRC, among sinful small Chinese. pray God that life is gorgeous after all hardness and harshness and intact in exists or survives.
this week meaningful for me. I finally got loan aids my hometown tour with my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, hope of China, God of Universe. he will 2nd time visit his grandpa’s house after 5 years, &his dad’s relatives in Hubei, central China. its really nice to see helping hands among my alumni, elite people in wellbeing and kind heart listening necessary of other ones of less fortunate. God, thx for I was allowed live with u, in faith and settled, with thoughtfulness and hopes. God, thx for ample rains in this summer, which revitalized my memories of hometown weather in central China. God, thx ur affirmative. gospels in birds’ song so chimes clear that Heaven more subtle and glamorous. God, dad, see us in coming journey homestay and anxious free.


dreamed of hell academy again.^ last night first time in summer 2013 slept without covering quilt. dreamed in dawn in campus near term end exam. while all pals busy with preparing exam, I updated my son’s and mine 2 dell notebooks, IE. video drivers, network interface card drivers. the mentor warned me but seemingly tentatively allow my loosing upon the tightened reign, in bad will or good one’s. I hated universal reign, like exams, so determined that I was separated by it from my pals. the nightmare must be put down. yesterday one of my alumni, of both senior middle school and university, buzzed me and we talked about our shared history and current situation. I first time reviewed my falling into asylum in my broken heart love in NanKai Univ back to 1999. God, I felt more secured with bond with my pals. my son sensed my high mood and refused to accompany me but played video game "monopoly" with his mom, who soon brought him haunt dusk market elsewhere and let me empty hand in return. in dorm garden I rambled more time than usual, echoes of my utterance in my heart allow me watch God’s mercy in my fate, inc moments I distressed. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to home my children. uphold my son’s linkage with his saint mother in Japan. God, Asoh Yukiko, address me to break curses upon my love and my girls. thx God, in this brilliant sunshine.


dreamed of flying again.^ in dawn dream with some kids in my hometown village, Zhudajiu. they reluctant to offer title I deserved and upset me, so I launched to surf the air, like swimming in the water but in air. my nephews and neighbor kids played together and sometimes makes me smile. Its a busy week and so grateful. my once and long time employer, QRRS again paid me low, only ¥1900, I had to ask help from my alumni in Hubei Province. its a meaningful chat before I got loan from those senior middle school alumni, I disclosed my life style, my family, my viewpoint and prospect. in the end, they not only loaned me amount I begged, but additional 500RMB, total ¥1500! its really a big gift, even I spent all in next day. we got our game gears replacement, treated together monthly in toast buffet, fruits &dico’s dinner I promised my son, and so on till we exhausted in elation of meeting end of plans. its also meaningful in coincidence in my hometown, where a sinful woman, my aunt, died on Friday. she and my uncle had so long in bitter jealous to my old family, my heroic father, God in Heaven now. my son’s mom, the cheap dwarf, still pompously desperately challenged me in front of my son, stupid like a mule. yesterday she cheated, claiming they will travel to hot spring spa, but in fact the bitch bastard let her dirty and sinful mother bring my son went to journey while she stayed at home. she never deserves mother of my son, nor anyone. she is so cheap! only testifies God places parents on my own over my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, hope of China, God of Universe. thx, God, dad, so nice this morning sunshine. grant us smooth tour to my kid brother in southern China in August, bring me sooner my Royal China to home my son and children arriving.

From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze
From 2013 in gaze

et cetera