benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











{June 4, 2013}   means heavy.

4/6/2013

blue days. ^ yesterday I was blue. it started with brilliant sunshine, drizzled at noon, pale sunshine afternoon, drizzled again when I returned from visiting my son in his mom’s house. in the day QRRS canteen shown ugly teeth upon its service to me: 3rd times or 4th times to tentatively cooked tasteless food, ie fishes I ordered. I knew enemies of my Empire of China plots it, summon all cadres or bureaucracy against me. when I reviewed the hostile my Royal China was set among, I felt deep sorrow for my son, Hope of China, God of Universe. his mom, I recently first time noticed how tiny she is bodily, almost a dwarf, a puppet of her vicious mother, a pair hardcore lesbians, more and more desperately occupied my son’s time by gossips to separate him from me, when we played video games. last Friday she brought sheerly him to watch a free movie in cinema during our routine reunion in weekends and my son got vomiting, likely insanity of his mom’s emotion hurt him. on Sunday night when I played a shooting pc game with my son, she stepped in and gossip with my son aside, trying intimacy that’s dirty over my son. I quit game soon and escaped to waiting room, where I rambled and looked back my once marriage with her and saw more sure I never and will not like her, such a poor qualified woman. during break after her usual accusation of my history of asylum, I told my son love is the most private affair and I have so far not such thing to teach him live. I urged him pursue love in his life ahead, and educate his children more sound and fruitfully. I told my son why his mom’s house doesn’t prepare him a space, the only 2 beds none for him in youth, but for guest or couples, both deep concern of the dark and pompous grandma’s. this dawn I dreamed I was in a formation between 2 contesting groups. Its hard to be standing above. God, dad, save my Royal China from poison and pollution. bring me sooner my girls to home my son warrenzh 朱楚甲, and my children arriving. thx God, in this blessing morning light.

29/5/2013

dreamed of paying a visit to my hometown.^ those days I usually sticked my feet out of quilt to sleep, and sometimes mid night cold filled my bladder more frequent. in this dawn dreamed I returning to my hometown village, Zhudajiu. I dwelt a lot on the dam, where nearby a cult temple attracted more visitors passing the bank. then under the dam some villager got a large lobster or something strange. then on way near the village, 2 women, one is my uncle, one is a wife of her neighbor, told me the loneliness of my parents and ate food I brought till the remnant of bread found sandy. likely my siblings adopted a boy soon died drove more usual friends of my parents away, left my parents suffer loneliness more severely. I soon woke up and got see how my parents looked forward me and I failed them in time. I saw enemies of my family constantly plots against the glory of my old family. God, dad, u see I was on way to accomplish this since years I fought for my love, for my due life’s satisfying story. dad, God, grant me more freedom in the forging new Empire of China of 1109 years. promise me sanity of my Royal China. thx dad God.

27/5/2013

busy weeks. ^ past week too busy to review. I finally got oversea payment method via tenpay, and renewed family domains twice, with borrowed ¥500 from the dorm canteen operator. then immersed in old game, ‘heroes: clash of heroes’, with my son. I told him about war, defense and strategy. my salary in the month arrived later, under expectation, only ¥2100 while last month its 2700 RMB. I had to manage to cope with all loans shabbily. however, my son still enjoy the Friday night with me in dorm. we ate KFC, warrenzh got a toy, a windmill. KFC doesn’t sell birthday pack upset him, but he soon cheered up after weeping. he again reluctant to join me bathing in public spa, where we had haircut. my kid brother who managed a small business of pins product in southern China. he let our sister invited me with my son visit him in coming summer vacation. God, we mean it, a tour includes flight and train highway. God, equip us with adequate travel preparation. God, bring me sooner my girls, my Royal China sooner to complete us. dad, I owe u in ur promise of peace and glory in coming 1109 years of China Empire reset ahead.
in afternoon nap dreamed of corporate and community media war among my colleagues and my old family’s foes in Zhudajiu Village. I witnessed merciless competition inside and outside of my social circle as well as tribal neighbors. Its a windy afternoon. God, dirty family of my son’s mom, as in visiting guests, pests now my son, guard my Royal China, God dad.

18/5/2013

safety of son.^ yesterday really busy. my backup index damaged again. it cost me rescan near 50 dvds till find backup, in my son’s mom’s house. the woman more and more revengeful in jealous and brought my son alone defying my reunion with my son. the afternoon I replaced av software on warrenzh’s dell notebook after previous license expired. I also immersed in assassination video game, Mark of Ninja, made proud progress till son returned outside and joined to resolve the problem in the game. we late played his recent favorite game, Sacred Citadel. returned to dorm, frequent abused children cases in sinking PRC lawless reminded me possible danger my son encountered. he recently already shown reluctance under my guide to ride his new bike. now it time to let go my severe coach once made my son cried last Monday over his new adventure with bike. God, now a sunny morning outside. I just dreamed stayed with my son longest for his real concern, for his sake. God, u know my concerns. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Empire of China to make it more hospitable. God, save my Royal China, people I concerned from murdering sea on PRC breaking apart.

13/5/2013

most beautiful dream, and soul soup.^ recently a bit busy with trying oversea payment. this dawn a special dream warms me a lot. dreamed my kid brother and my old parents sustained in adversity. in year end I returned to my hometown village, where my old parents lived through tough challenges, esp from my uncle’s family. their 1st son, a teacher then turned bureaucrat, lived well among sinful Chinese government, and his 3 sons brought quite some beautiful girlfriends and enjoyed the lunar holiday. I passed their house and congratulated them even bitter. but then I heard my parents worried severely about if my kid brother committed suicide, for his poor academic score and beat our elder sister, a cheap messy woman. I also felt anxious. then I found my kid brother returned from another road my grand father prepared on other side of the village to our house. he brought some soldiers to celebrate lunar new year together. I teared and swore to my parents we brothers will bring a legion of friends includes girlfriends when we realize ourselves in future. in that our family bond forges again. Its sunny now. God, dad, bless my Royal China, bring sooner my new family to home my son, warrenzh and his sisters and brothers to come.

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From 2013 in gaze
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From 2013 in gaze
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From 2013 in gaze
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From 2013 in gaze
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From baby’s works update
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From 2013 in gaze
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