benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











{January 3, 2007}   bright day

last night i finished update my firefox portable to newest version and also tried ftp client portable.i was charged 5 yuan a night.returned to dorm i ate my breakfast which fresh for hungery stomache.the rest of morning spent on bed dozing but can’t sleep.after lunch i wandered around the area outside of qrrs,esp.its eastern part directly connected to suburb.along the road mushroomed many small vendors,likely those lost their flat house to qrrsers’ residential zone and had to find a new living.then i wandered about an hour in the sunshine in the tree yard of the dorm area.the benches all rid,banished any open social contact method,like we saw in the summer u practised here.that’s machinery thinking,for their only interest.i met a beautiful young girl with her friend lingered in the road.the rest of the afternoon spent on bed,most time immersed in love emotion.after dinner i intended to surf but on the way a little boy playing cracks and let me felt sorry for my baby,so i headed to see him.there his mother’s kid sister again lean on the bed.she is in fact a prostitude,her most liked poise was laid herself on bed or sofa,like a sex animal.my baby was forced to try to lean against her and she just dirty willed every day.and when my baby crawled across her body she can’t help but open her cell phone.she is really evil and enjoyed being evil.she glad to show in front of us attracting my baby.my baby’s mother would rather stayed in waiting room,and i also soon left to operate the notebook in our bedroom to avoid her nasty show.the grandma and her kid sister watched aside,but the grandma soon left,likely can’t hold.the prostitude later left and proudly declared she would visit tomorrow.she felt she gained,but god know what won and continued to win.i never worry about my baby’s ability.when all challenges within the home settled,neighbors challenges let my baby bumped and made a lot of cracks,let his mother’s nerves almost broken.my baby felt a lot of joyes to strike the ears spying around in the residential building.when he tried he was milked and slept.i left in dark.his mother angery with me and slept on bed,don’t talk to me.but after i left she called me back and handed me a clean bedsheet as planned to replace the current one,and offer me 2 apples when i asked.
we r under stern challenge now.my baby especially threatened.but god’s shine forever cast on our soul and body.we doomed to brace the brighter and brighter future.
bye.i love u.i today sometimes felt ur hostility.kiss u with freer.

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{January 3, 2007}   special bright sunny day

dog ruined my works after 2 am at which i had worked on for 5 hours.there is no way to avoid its nasty.
last night posted here a newly open cafe successfully with 3 yuan for 2 hours.after returning to the dorm i was trentched by temptations and fought with it.rotten rat rabbled lately and first time ingnored my sleep and chatting lasted for about 2 hours after i went to bed.i went to bed after 0 am and got up at 11:14 am.my grand father appeared awhile in my dream.when i arrived,the kid sister first time shown in proper mood.i kissed my baby’s leg.soon his mother arrived.lunch was rich and she told me yesterday they prepared lots of delicious foods and some of them missed me.after lunch she went to shower.the kid sister slept in the room locked.the neighbors constantly probing my relation with my baby,my god,they tried to seperate my baby from me.my baby then started to play with scattering rice onto the floor,just echoed my grand father’s ask in my prevous dream.when his mother returned and catch sight of the mess she got angery and demanded my leave or cleaning the floor.i didn’t acted upon,but started to sort files on my udisk and sd card.when my baby and his mother woke up from bedroom,i started to clean the floor with air cleanner.then i emptied the stuffed cleaner and let his mother happy.then the grandma arrived and started to wash.the kid son of the kid sister also returned and cooked with his mother.later we ate dinner,including a soup.we drank wine.i felt in mood to share and turned talkative with them.my baby finished his dinner first then the kid son.we couples and the old sisters chatted on the table on balcony.then i visited my baby and found he was fed by the kid son peacefully.i stayed awhile and let the kid son unease and laid himself to bed.my baby later played with standing onto lofty stacked mats and stepped down and found lots of joyes.his mother or the grandma bought me a new thick trousers and i praised it.we all enjoyed  a huge orange his mother bought.my baby ate quite some.after returned to the dorm,i felt again temptations.i reviewed my love for the girl fang(square) when i there in nankai unv. preparing my entrance exam for master degree candidate.i don’t know if she got married or kept single,had a child or not.i had reiterate the process of my broken heart with love for her and the process of my can’t live with her after returning to my hometown and finally got sleeplessly and refused to trust anyone and being forced to be treated in asylum.in my view,each time i got mad was in fact i died in heart and can’t live with the routine life and still can live with losing all the settings i beset,to escape for freedom.i also told my story with qrrs,my once working place in the process of my second falling into asylum.dog clearly knew why they ruin my blogging in the mid.
i even more assured i m near my kingdom to reclaim and to recover.temptation never can hide the reality that the highly enjoyed now threatening me,and my threat to they,who had judged others’ lives so far so scar,for they r not the judge,but the object of judge.
dog in this new cafe allowed me accessed more warez stuff within domestic ftp sites,while foraign sites heavily blocked or retarded.they allowed my uploading a clip shot today of my baby with his parents but defied other 2.its liked a bargain but it didn’t start from tonight.temptation was one of its harness.
bye.i love u.in sunshine,in this overnight,in the bright moon light these
night.kiss u with beer.
my baby today.



et cetera