benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











Jun 20, 2016

dreamt in our family’s cabin. we had a party, inc my niece and guest girls. then a guy spied us and joined our shuttercock game. we together beat the guy till he confessed his role. its late night, then we found in another room of the cabin, my niece lonely slept and fears darkness. then we sorry and visited her as companions. we competed with poems, including my nephews, for the peaceful night. yesterday I had good time with my son. since last week I warned him pedophobia he now loathed to hear my babbles, for my warn likely put his mightiness in constrain. but he is so selfless and soon accepted my companion again. I fed him with his favorite Chinese franchise restaurant, Seejoys dunplings, where I only have less than ¥50 in purse and constantly afraid of can’t pay our bill there. next day, Sunday we dined Japanese cuisine whose bill paid by our subscription digitally. after shower I escorted him all the afternoon now that his mom not at home, till the grandma prepared supper. I complained boring after we tried video games and waiting for downloading. then I massaged woz, whose neck and back under heavy usage in his frequent android gaming and my concern to keep its resilient. my son more or less enjoys it. after that I tried ice bag we recently ordered online for cooling our legacy game notebook and works perfect, we applied it on woz’s neck, head. later he wrote awhile his homework and I continued trying to sell the ice treatment. after returned to dorm, I busy restored my os which damaged by China surveillance, first time it tentatively disabled my vpn and forced me rebuilding it. the iron curtain previously constantly broke in but maintained my world web accessible. but they never gave up blocking my son browsing western video websites. God, dad, grant my son richer entertainment, esp overseas movies and TVs. forever win us broader access of world democracy and its media, esp google and twitter, etc, to ensure our source of sound news and judgement. help me cope my credit crisis with triumph, help my cyberspace startup succeeds.

Jun 18, 2016

yesterday dreamt snakes everywhere around me. this dawn dreamt borrow books from my 2nd elder brother and sister. then found in a month I will graduate and without job. so I go to Lhasa to work. but there my nephew, ie. first son of my 2nd elder sister and his son and other relatives electronic sucked and lots of panic, including some of evilous students I found from those paid my son’s mom to receive her tuition at her house when I visited son. at last I tried to rescue my relatives and entered the electrified room, consulted nearby kids about safe spots, jumped and trying to reach lever to cut down leaking power then woke up. this week a bit busy, upgrading my son’s intel nuc with new and larger ssd bought by my supportive credit card from PSBC even in credit crisis. China surveillance heavily attacked me when I prepare clean OS and backup on it. they desperate broke the minipc and blocked my son from enjoy American movies and videos through VPN I prepared. each time within a week after my clean built they ruin the encrypted tunnel, make youtube and amazon video inaccessible. and this month my once and long time employer, QRRS, likely busier with orders. my purse almost empty but now new salary would improve it and better. credit card issuer bank buzzed but now we are more polite, except PSBC didn’t call in so far, on air. and some of them threatened shift me to its law enforcement department but yet happened. but the dorm canteen operator who lent me boarding before my promised pay, turns complainful. last night a heavy rain loudly sang when I bought dine out groupon by PSBC credit online. its just so blessing, so I dropped my son a phone even I doubt if its too late around 9pm. but he is agile to pick the phone, as holy affirmed. this noon I will reunite him in champion of new availability of entertainment. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to host my family. bring lifestyle we enjoyed so far. help me alleviate credit crisis in this month salary. grant us happy weekends every week.

Jun 10, 2016

dreamt in campus with my Nankai Univ alumni again in practice lesson. I lost track when team launched. on half way I met some kids, I rewarded some coins to a smart boy. when I caught up with the team, they were leaving. I confused why these physics lessons so hard to learn and discussed my problem with others, like ballistic track, pounding force, etc. some of my alumni told me and I gradually grasped it, for human have right to know what’s going on in their life. so science sometimes knows as curious as fun, doesn’t always mean to change courses, to fix something, but it tells truth even boring truth. I met lots of classmates including girls when I arrived the camp. on farewell party I suggested a toast and lots of biddings echo from my classmates then I woke up. a rain in dawn turns clear even in my dream. its a mid size rain, raindrops make happy rhythm like my hometown central China summer rains. last night I first intended to suffer starvation with the only noodle meal, for my only have 30rmb in purse. near 9pm, hunger let me blue, I tried to shift focus from it but failed. then I gave in and intended to watch and dine out my son today, for according PRC calendar the Sunday will be a workday. I will have to shower on Saturday rather than usual Sunday lest my son has no vacation to do it for schooling. then I relieved and ate a candy I prepared for my son’s visit. later hunger even urgent and I had to cost ¥5 for a street vendor snack nearby in the night. God, dad, when is we in no want? when our enjoyed lifestyle makes us heartedly settled? bring me sooner my Royal China to host my guests and under Holy glory of plenty we cheer up. grant me my cyber startup booming and credit as safe and likes a breeze.

Jun 9, 2016

lunar dragon boat day holiday slides in before my notice. this morning missed canteen breakfast among dreams and naps in early wakeup, or the dorm canteen already closed service in holiday like usual. in boring morning I felt all world pales out in others’ celebration, left me alone and lonely. I felt cold and napped in quilt for warmth. near noon I ate noodles in nearby restaurant after found canteen out of service. the sunshine is faultlessly bright, but it a bit too stinging for sunbath. I missed my son very much but decided follow Christian calendar to reunite him in weekends, ie day after yesterday, and for the sake of my poor wallet, which left no more than ¥30. this week my credit card issuer bank buzzed several times, and I promised CCB whose clearance clerk woman quite sincere that I will pay it first with this month salary. bankcomm confirmed my unable to pay in time more than 3 times, likely will adopt next phrase operation to secure its property. PSBC still helping me with its credit, allowing me to buy what I need, like SSD harddisk and other item online, but its clearance clerk man too coarse to handle, just cursed me times and times likely repulses me with disgusting or maltreatment. in the afternoon I napped again to avoid boringness, I dreamt my shared workplace visited by 2 pals of my colleague, likely one of my Nankai Univ alumnus now lives in Canada, or the youngest son of my uncle, who both tall and bigger build. they invited me to name their company and trying using office computer to find solution. I was a bit afraid them using my computer, so I tried in mess and harsh to logout my computer but can’t find keyboard in piles of paperworks prompt. then I suddenly shout out my answer, Tian’an in Chinese, totally safe or heavenly safe. my alumnus approached me to cheer up before I woke up. its sunny now outside. with classic music rather than podcast recently I listened more on google play I felt in right mood under bliss. God, dad, my income shortage now weights me down. I saw in decades my earnings from my blog and websites hardly supports lifestyle we enjoyed so far including my son since powered by credit card. dad, God, only your Mightiness covers our incomplete of life support. grant us freedom of financial independence. bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain the brilliant way ahead. boost my web presence and traffic that means. catalyze my cyberspace startup to success. dad, I’m so complacent with my web assets. secure them and let it deserve our effort to bring it out.

Jun 3, 2016

in dawn dream reviewed my passed mother helped my aunt’s last child with her 2nd husband preparing his wedding ceremony. I regarded the 2nd husband humiliated my dad and hostile toward my dad and our family’s success. but my mother always tried her best shown her hospitality to the man and my uncle who admired her. my mother likely hurt my dad much with her charm unselective and spare no expense. I was asked to join the wedding ceremony in my summer vacation and according customs carried bride’s gift to fiance’s family with other young relatives in our old family. on way a steep wet slope a heavy truck almost can’t brake itself and dangerously slip downward and almost brought me down. I narrowly escaped the truck with load of gifts and many years after I thought its a holy salvage. the marriage didn’t last 3 years and the wife left. my mother just can’t trust her husband and fought with all her resources in her interest. then dreamt I made 3 portable devices for data mobility. the design so effective that I intended to shift to my son. this week began with idling then gradually engaged. yahoo informed me to logon to keep account active. when logon it require verification from backup mailbox, ie. google account. in the process quite some of zhone google accounts suspended for suspicious activities, likely PRC backed hacking. I tried several means to report to google, which likely doesn’t support human individual handling, but machinary rules. but 3 days later, last night my accounts unlocked and I rearranged them as planned. its such champion like a breeze, I sang for the heroic giant public company. this week my credit card issuer bank buzzed 3 or more occasions, we agreed to shift my unable to pay back to next phrase, even I don’t know what will be. my youngest elder sister offered me ¥500 and I used it for weekend reuniting my son, ie. dining out, and my medicine. I also tried to reach out to my teenage friend, now works in college, but in vain. the teacher felt guilty upon his empty hand and tried to assign me in some agenda to whitewash remnant of his redemption. God, dad, life here runs deeper now. let’s enjoy peace of everyday. bring me sooner my Royal China to host my guests. bring me glory of Son. grant me independent finance in my startup. thx for the descending summer heat.



May 26, 2016

dreamt of students protest and negotiation. after woz 11 years birthday gathering, last night I slept deep. dreamt likely in Peking Univ I gathered support students and went strike against ruling authority. my passed mother likely there cooked for canteen and listening my appeal for student’s right which is vivid in dream but after breakfast untraceable. yesterday I finally told dorm canteen operator that my salary freezed by bank and I penniless. she admitted my loan for boarding. my support son’s living cost also cancelled, his mom already informed by me when she inquired how I will handle the loan crisis last Sunday, but even worse, I unable to hand over son’s educational plan deposit, 200rmb/monthly as promised. she refused joining celebration I prepared for woz’s 11 years birthday. locked herself in bedroom with her mother. I let my son waited for his mom return from her workplace is a waste. when kindles in position on cake by my son, we ran out of match, nor lighter. I previously intended asking son’s mom to live cast the party via twitter’s periscope but in reality I had to using woz’s nexus cellphone live stream on our own. its aweful clumsy but at least its our first live show. I quickly left my son after the reporting, in the air of contemptuous the evil woman casted upon us. in the night I published our video of the cake party, our monologue. its a chill summer, now its cloudy again in the morning. but its far from clueless. God, dad, bring us lifestyle we enjoy. grant me financial independence, esp supportive for my son’s teenage. bring me my Royal China and my new family to save the broken and sinking PRC in its shrink of deterioration. prepare me for greater event in my life.

May 25, 2016

first dreamt I have extra flesh loosely attached around edge of my feet. I carefully cut them off and my 2nd brother found worms in it. I watched it and saw 2 worms alive and my brother claim he saw more much smaller I didn’t see. then I thought now that I long time can’t gain my master degree in campus I should consider a job for living. I reckoned teaching English and perfect my language skill as mean. my niece asked me shift my tool, a picker to her, I admitted but loathed. then the ground floor of the building, an office of editors of a publish house, full with staff lately returned. when I retreated, I saw a guy on way and though him too poor, so I intended to offer him ¥5 in charity. but the guy shamelessly chased after me and impatiently peeking my purse and attempted using his picker like thief to take bill from it. I took too long to find ¥5 bill and enough by the harassment of the guy and canceled my offer. by a shallowly underground well, some woman murmured what a pity, seemingly I lost a chance to gain from my last kindness. I thought they know something I don’t know but too many possibilities or conspirations led me indecisive and woke up. previously in dawn dream I painted and let my artist friends, esp. Tibet artist Benba Chungdak, check it. he likely respects it. this month my salary reached a historic low at ¥1468, which even can’t cover our living expense, ie. my son and myself. I have anticipated it restored to normal, around 3000rmb, so hard. God, dad, what’s the hell ahead for falling with sinking PRC, poverty and beyond protection of social welfare or civil war’s cannon fodder? dad, God, what challenge I was set in? bring me sooner my Royal China for the salvage. bring me painless through adversity currectly emcompasses me. remove the crucifixion the Son reraised from. I with happiness with the Holy in the unprecedented glory.

May 20, 2016

dreamt of social motivation. in dawn dream I was in team to allocate social resources. I assign reward/award for every personel enrolled, encode frequent used amount into quantity unit, embed short code replacing frequently used long terms like compression in propaganda slogans, which includes Zhao Benshang’s northeastern Chinese folk ballad, 二人转. civil war’s fog topmost heavy in the dream, we do our best to prepare for it. my old family’s enemy, the second husband of my aunt and his offspring, one of them is our neighbor in hometown village Zhudajiu, tempted me comment on his youngest brother’s performance, I said he is kind and popular. my passed mother in dream then asked me about myself, I said anyone knows me respects me. the enemy agreed. my mother glad upon my reputation. the dream is very clear and I needn’t hurry to blog after I woke up. this week I mostly peacefully enjoy silence before change. I watched more movies online, esp love stories which remind me of my broken love in Nankai Univ with a tall Chinese girl collegian, and faultless escort of my crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, when she studies abroad with us. I also bathed more in noon sunshine now that summer weather gradually steps in. Qiqihar this summer peculiarly cold among world report of increased temperature most places on the earth. last night I watched a Japanese episode, life in additional time. first episode about a youth values vocation more important than family and died on site and regret for his family he even didn’t know still loving him. second about common family how hard to find a better commodity like a richer meal in routine life. the good wife risk her life to bring a beef meal for her family before her decrease on rush road for discount meat. that reminds me of my burden in my trying best to support my son a better life so far, lends us to credit deficit. but I don’t regret, and only Christian saves China and Japan. only YHWH blesses world of no shortage but plenty and glory in plenty. out of him poverty and chaos breeds like rats and murders like norm, esp. in Buddhism, confucianism and Islamism, in Asia and Africa. God, dad, thanks for the holy sign of rejoice. grant us a peaceful reunion this afternoon when I dine out my son grill mutton. dad, God, grant me more agile growth in my cyberspace existence. bring me my Royal China and its outline from distant view when I moulding Empire of China. fill my heart with love and brave. thx for the summer morning, God.

May 15, 2016

dreamt of summit. yesterday is exhausting for me after reunited with my son, woz, my most concerned. I told him my new source of confidence, new strategy to cope current hard finance. I brought him dine out with Islamic cuisine with which I again groupon and paid by my credit digitally, our favorite mean of dining out but forgiven this year for credit crisis and slump economy. my son less surprised but maintained acknowledged. I also tried to prepare his smart TV with more functions the android os powered. in dorm in the dawn I dreamt assigned to write speech for boss who will lecture on the summit. I managed separate headline and body of the speech, embed my family domains’ site each part, for more appearance of zhone cyberspace existence. when the summit gathered, the keynote didn’t take place, I only saw the labor union chairman of QRRS, a guy almost same period enrolled by the SOE and more or less acquaintance. I watched far from the hot circle of audience among the party and some QRRS staff playful with me nearby. we gradually retreated upstairs and I woke up lately. I don’t know why I felt so sleepy, but I now have more time to sleep while my whole business stable and in early stage which means more patience. I likely wouldn’t find myself another job to make a living, for I resolved to sit and dwelt with hardest situation in sinking PRC, my vested kingdom. I needn’t another option to flee from my people, my land which so fertile and sustaining. I have vocation and proud of it, which is not weak one nor too feeble prone to protection of peer stable source of feed. I don’t need a second occupation for sacrifice in my main concern, my kingdom and cyberspace startup. that’s my rebirth of confidence from void in wane of hardness these weeks. God, dad, save my nation from broken, save us from starving and scatter of exile. grant me regal life with my son, my girls I entreated so far online. bring me life style we enjoy so far, remove my debt burden step by step when beholding my enterprise online. dad, God, help me live healthy and resilient in my mid-age.

watchwoz 11 years birthday video online

or https://youtu.be/dSJNS8yCMb4

https://youtu.be/fQVEUagAaTM

https://www.periscope.tv/w/1gqxvARDdzqJB

#God #AsohYukiko #dream #life #love



May 7, 2016

dreamt first about resort in farming field to treat insomnia. my once colleague in QRRS, Chi, a shameless bureaucracy career chaser, also in the farm resort and likely surveillance me. then dream being a rebellion, with his 2 comrades, one titled cloud blade, äºé in Chinese, one titled period blade, èé in chinese. the latter likely betrayed to and murdered by our enemies. I with cloud blade probing the missing of our comrade, among risky mob of rebellions and counter rebellions. its a pale morning since last drizzling night. I missed 2 breakfasts and kept awake earlier not to miss it again. yesterday PSBC local branch buzzed again that its his last call before possible seizure of my salary card if I unable return credit deficit in time in last chance. if so, I would have to make a living alone beside salary offered by my once and long time employer, QRRS, an old style SOE, whose poor salary forces me to loan and miserable. I yet configured the ethic aspect of my financial status, but likely change occurs now, for surviving myself and my son. finding a job always daunting challenge for me, used to be casual and common. lower salary or lower skill intensified, that’s likely a balance I will strike. God, its not easy for a man in his near 50s to be relocated. grant us life we enjoy so far. grant us balance between personal achievement and social contribution. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to boast sinking PRC. bring me affordable entrepreneur for better life and time management.

May 1, 2016

dreamt of Islamic woman and fantastic scene. yesterday dinned in a Islamic restaurant we haunted a lot and where I especially amazed by the hostess by her exotic beauty. in dawn dream I with the woman on a giant dam control unit and watching huge flow. I then on guestbook chose a heroic name as my name. then in a comic movies scene I chatted with female partner and experienced adventure. I again chose a historic name as my signature. I tried to blog but its too cold to open my pc right the moment after woke up. I napped again and in dream I wording details for blog in dawn time. when I actually started to blog on my chromebook half put on, most memories gone. last week busy with reinstall os on wozâs 2 pcs which lagging and likely hacked by government of PRC. lots of data, esp. online games, await to restore before we enjoy the fruit of a cleaner system. one of my credit card issuer, ICBC, warned of possible freeze my salary card before I fully return its credit due. I reported danger of the scenario to my hometown relatives, ie. my elder brothers. they likely mobilized to try to help, but so far result unknown. I badly need ï¿¥9000 injecting to my bad debt to re-enable currency of my credits quota and living cost, while my relatives insisted disabled all my credit card forever, for they donât want to respond with my debt, esp credit anymore. I love my credit card, my websites online. they engage me with workload and manageable. God dad, please allow me cultivate on my vested land. allow me grow vegetables in my backyard. Iâm now in my prime light while aging makes daily work more definitive personally. rid me off anxiousness of living expense, focus me on building and expanding cyberspace reality under Holy affirmative. bring me sooner my Royal China for the better China Empire in 1109 years ahead. bring me my girls and offspring thatâs vital for my destiny.

Apr 24, 2016

dream of my new wedding ceremony. my passed parents prepared me for new marriage. my 2nd elder brother trusted to manage custom and celebration team from the village, Zhudajiu. I saw my parents-in-law, my fiance, who is shy free and visited us the night before rite. I saw clear I never saw here. last week banks’ call for returning credit deficit were frequent. I buzzed my 2nd brother, kid brother and 2nd sister. my kid brother, likely the only one who affordable to help, always felt frustrated upon my conversation or appeal, refuted me 2 times, but finally called me back last Saturday. he got all my credit card number, likely trying to cancel them. he said banks’ call disrupted him a lot and can’t bear it without actively dealt my problem. God, no matter how large the problem, I always look my business bright in the end. but I really don’t know how to return the Â¥70000 in my so pinched situation. this month my salary in 3 serie months as low as Â¥1800. I had to borrow to live up. my son woz last Friday night visited my dorm. we ate grilled mutton as scheduled. I don’t feel like to put him in panic of economic slump. he more and more silent upon my trying insistent life we deserve. God, dad, I want get through hardness alone, with hope and prayer. God, I’m confident my debt, Â¥75000, is not a big sin. help me re-revifying it. this spring chill lingers, and put my dorm quite uncomfortable. bring me sooner summer heat with life we enjoy. bring me sooner my Royal China for grace. save Japan from earthquake suffering, save my crowned Queen, Asoh Yukiko, and show us the union fastenes our 2 nations in close eastern Asia.

Apr 17, 2016

dreamt of my once brother-in-law. this week I restored my 3 dynamic sites powered by web apps. cleaning data costs some time, but godaddy’s cpanel quite helpful and setup quickly. yesterday I demonstrated my work to my son, woz, Hope of China, and confessed how I love my own hut of commmunication, my own publication like the website. this dawn I dreamt visiting my passed eldest sister’s house. my eldest sister commited suicide in her prime time, likely after long time disharmonious with her husband. I love my sister very much and my old family in debt of my sister for her marriage with a worker which life much easier than our in early hardest time of PRC. I dreamt my siblings gathered to visit my eldest sister’s house. on a fork road stop we reach her house, we met our brother-in-law, a widow then in dream and re-familied in reality, trying repair his tricycle. his son, my cousin grew up his teenage in my old family after his mother’s passed by and under my parents’ custody with his younger sister, offer a silent helping hand in the house and delayed there after most of my siblings left for his mom. I tried to blog after got up but memory scattered and I napped again. then dreamt I was forbiddened to communicate with the brother-in-law, but get a “matb” certificate of permission to create access with the past. I also dreamt I on my website considering published a worker’s poems. he is an employee of my once workplace, QRRS. his poems mostly old styled and mirrors PRC old custom. I likely then attending a site owners’ seminar. last week PSBC bank urged me to return overdrawl of my credit card. I contacted my senior middle school alumni and one of them offered me Â¥1000. even I badly need Â¥5000 to facilate fluit of my credit, I can’t blame my alumnus’ poor kindness. I hope step by step break barrier of locked credit. God dad, my web site, esp powered by database and web apps, is my contribution to the world voices. pl help me maintain it and let it booms. grant me renew my hosting plan graceful and reasonablly secured duration. grant us the cosy workspace we enjoy now. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls and my offspring in time. dad, let my dearest eldest sister stays in my heart and forever in love. let the coming history witnesses the blessing her concerned.



{April 8, 2016}   would rather not let loose.

Apr 8, 2016

So I napped again after a sandstorm noon. I dreamt using water as fuel and a pair of light wings. I flied over a slop and carefully calculated fuel consuming. on the hill of my hometown, I finally ran out of water fuel and woke up. in the past week banks called me several times but now less burning. I hope my business outruns the ever accumulating profit in addition principal in a decade. this week financial hardness embarrassed me so miserable that sometimes humbled me to bite, esp occasionally an old cop near retired age ate his rich lunch in dorm canteen with his pal in canteen. after restored hope of life, my dinners in canteen even delicious since then, from complain of loan from its operating woman. this week my restoring dynamic sites also makes proud progress. backup partially imported to new database, and fresh web apps targeting new domains tried and satisfying. our new site gathers thin traffic but God, plenty of holy world, let me feel capable of the online presence now and then. my own especially glad to see these beautiful huts of interactive, of hospitality, of service, regardless sunshine nor turbulence. they will be history and morality, will be testimony of holy commitment. previously I tried hard to build them on google infrastructure, but now financial situation hardly support it, and compatibility with php less satisfying. now I found cheaper hosting at godaddy. and free hosting at byet.host. God, dad, let the freedom of cyberspace persistent, let the internet affordable forever. above all of them, I gladful upon hardware upgrade last year I pushed recklessly. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China to foster good world closing the sinking PRC, bring me sooner my children, my girls with whom I prayed so long online. in coming salary pl allow me to alleviate more or less my credit overdraw burden. grant us purchase power among my dear credit cards. thx, dad, in this chill afternoon.
Photo Description: woz, Hope of China, has painting lesson arranged by his mom. here his talent artwork in early stage.

Apr 5, 2016

dreamt first time of youth friend, Qiuxiaolin. yesterday I napped several times but still today felt exhausted. after canteen breakfast I satisfied and napped. I dreamt Qiu xiaolin, my Nankai alumnus and close friend of literature, visited me in my hometown. some neighbor kids, Zhudehua, Zhuhongying, etc, played our pingpang ball. sometimes they asked my judge for who can play. I told them there are several balls and enough for them. Qiu must discuss our favorite literature and also relaxed with kids and fun. I had 2 friends in campus. one is Qiu, another is BianbaQingda, Tibetan artist I never contacted soon after I stepped into my empirical career in QRRS. that’s nearly 20 years ago. Qiu is now likely a professor in his hometown, southwestern China. Bianba’s paintings getting gallery public and must also return to his hometown, Lasha. and that’s all I knew. they have my best wishes. yesterday is lunar mourning day, dorm canteen out of service again. I ate KFC breakfast and a cheap but consolidate lunch. the additional cost made my reserve for reunite son in weekends in April turns even poorer. God dad, grant me freedom of living dignity. empower me rent hosting service online for my business on the earth in holy affirmative. bring me sooner my Royal China to enlighten the eastern sky. thx for peaceful moment of nap and crisp air after last dusk drizzle.

Apr 4, 2016

dreamt of my Nankai schoolmates visited my house in their study. last Saturday I worked overnight to install ubuntu on my son’s computer which frequently hacked by China surveillance. so this morning I napped. in dream when I returned to my house likely also my woz’s mom’s, to my surprise, all my Nankai alumni there resting, playing card, chatting, etc in their travel, just like when we studied in campus. they likely in their 2nd field practice except without me who is old and trying hard to make a living. I saw Chenxinjian, Chengfeng I recently contacted for help, also saw Muyunhe, Wangyanping, alumna whose comment is acid and sharp, saying I getting old. they all settled in my house at home. this month my salary in serial was around ¥2000 while my living cost for my son and my own is that amount and additionally bank charges ¥1000 for my credit overdrawal. in frequent banks calls, I felt more or less burnout. I contacted some of my senior middle school alumni for help. most of them evade me, but a promising guy, our once unbeatable academic score champion and financial institution crew since graduation, acquainted my hardness. last Sunday reunite woz, my dearest son, Hope of China, is quite warm memory now. we dined rich, played games heartedly, chatted on profound far sighted topics. upon my shortage I offered him 2 options, less visit or dine cheaper, he chose the latter, which made me prouder. its sunny spring now, fine weather these 2 days encourages me putting on my best clothes. God’s mercy, my nephew, elder son of my dearest youngest elder sister, who operates an online clothes shop, prepared me some alternatives. God, dad, my life so far is enjoyable. pl don’t deprive our leisure and pleasure in the moulding of our Empire of China of 1109 years ahead. only living happy deserves our vested kingdom. pl help me step by step relieve my burden of bank loan, and grant us of purchasing power continuous. thx dad, bring me sooner my girls when we matter each other. enliven me by my children I breed and attend full heart. thx for this silent morning after KFC breakfast.

Mar 21, 2016

dreamt of international cargo. in dawn dream, I prepared my packages to Sweden where I will study. on half way I found my packages missing. then found I mispelled and hijacked by malware. on half way where there is crowd watching soccer world champion, I miserable search all hijacked packages’ label and corrected them to my designated destiny while maintained hijacked address untouched but move it to lower propriety for forensic and wouldn’t executed for trial and test. then in remote country I possibly waiting for the only missing package uncorrected, and doubting if its a serial compression in which missing a member package will ruin all others, or all independent compressed packages in which missing one will only affect itself content. the dream likely an echo of what I saw last night I returned from visiting my son. on the bus stop I noticed railway station setup its cargo handling office where previously rented to 3rd party business likely small hotel, etc. its likely now has their business booming and office restored. I saw 2 young couples leaving from the office and likely they fetched their cargo. I enjoyed online shopping last year so much. now the PRC government installed higher tariff trying smoother overseas purchases booming among Chinese middle class. its a whole pack aiming prevent Chinese better informed shifting from poor Chinese quality to world including political, life, society, ethic all aspects. dictative PRC attempting stop losing customers inland by monopolize their poor official offer like north Korea where people lame generations and generations of prey. how I cherish overseas purchases last year and cozy of online shoppings which now almost impossible under my current hard financial situation. God dad, PRC sinking dictation want harness domestic consuming boost economy and employment while never afford losing control on market, the most important role in industrialized production chain, and through which American people and world economy help China in past decades so much to allow diligent Chinese labors, mostly peasants engaged full fledged and improved their lives nonstop in more than 40 years. the ccp is a bitch, grace never sheds light in its stoned heart, and relentlessly sinking China with it when times ditching them with their poor quality and means of troublemaking. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China and my beloved children, my queens for peace and pleasure of now. please ease my credit deficit and allow me shopping online as usual. in the coming salary allow me make use to alleviate my debt burden more or less.



Mar 17,2016

dreamt of once enemy in old work place. these days daunted by difficulty in setup web apps on google app engine, I rested myself and enjoy reading online more routinely. it can be boring and I napped after noons. this noon nap I dreamt with my son fought against punishment in game in which I trid to gain network administrator job while the cable TV network equipment exporter company from Beijing teased me with my QRRS cable TV director, with whome the battle since put me jobless. they disliked me and blocked me with quizs. I also dreamt of my Nankai alumni with whom I begged help before my 2nd flight tour with my son, in bank’s urgency to confirm credit positive, and informed with my cyberspace brand searchable. in weeks my domestic blogs at lofter.com cencored. he likely a part of PRC surveillance, and likely by his effects my custom domains with lofter.com all removed, blogs’ access resumed after near a week’s prohibition. in the dream I also saw why once colleague in QRRS cable TV, assigned accountant still prefered spreadsheet, excel, to automatic database software I long suggested, to manage customer’s fee. he might co-operated with the director using primitive tool to obtain more control on departmental sales for their profits steathily. recently I dreamt my son more occasions and sometimes in sexual dreams I even can’t defferentiate him from my beloved girls. that reminds me my sins of being single so long and female around fondless. God dad, I never stopped praying for my true love, my beautiful girls I called upon my blog so long. I admire young girl in time for marriage so long anytime I perceive with my eyes daylight. grant me Asoh Yukiko, my TW girl, girl Lyu, with whom I still in profound aspiration. grant me new family and more children. God dad, I don’t compete with anyone for offspring, like most Chinese and Arab do, but I feel 3 or 4 children will prefect me and nature. dad, this world, our family duty under oath to Holy, makes it necessary to maintain the Royal prosperous. help me achieve the sweet task I won’t gave up before destiny. lower my deficit to bank and enable their purchase power. God, help me enjoy the cosy of dynamic website, free my frustrations during building on google computing infrastructure.

Mar 13,2016

returned from abruption. nearly a month after our 2nd flight tour I busy with restoring my work space and our dynamic sites. this morning I slept sound and dreamt of my passed mother. in first phrase I dreamt of windows’ encryption. I found myself among Hubei Province folks busy with building its provincial hall. on the roof unfinished, I found windows encryption is a system function that can be called anytime, not likely previously presumably through compressing password encrypted. one of my Huanggang alumni, Huang Linzhong, stood under the building site and talked with me. then dreamt with my son and my mother in hometown village. I bought my son a huge ice stick which almost as big as my son. he likes it and enjoyed it on way and somewhat dirt coats it for too large to hold. passed month I was so busy, several overnights on system restore that made my ear vulnerable and painful. through the process I quite familiar with windows setup via hard disk, with aid of windows pe environment. Google is an indispensable helping tool for problem solving. with it I safely assert here that English world community’s informative quality much better than Chinese counterpart. China surveillance no doubt interfered amid my efforts, but God’s bliss lifts me from trouble and hopelessness. these days they even targeting my only pleasure in night, English TV programs. I have 3 days apart from my favorite episodes due to media delivers too lagging. they also times and times broke down my son’s computer VPN, aiming evades him from English and Christian I endeavored to put him forth. they shamelessly sent their children aided by their dirty earns abroad, but banned domestic English access and bound Chinese with their tombstone sinking in sins. what they losing is not a battle of new world and new life, but a hope of survival in their doomed warfare and division. from now on I will try to resume my old dynamic sites, zho.io and forum of zhuson.com. financial situation is huge hard, I pray relief so hard to live affordable. after all I have faith in my building Empire of China in my title. I believe I endorsed to continue my brand promotion cyberspace. I didn’t change as to shoulder the responsibility of Royal China. God dad, bring me sooner my new family with my children forsaked when I productive. bring me sooner my girls in our happy time and vital. grant me purchasing power among my credit cards, and sustain my assets, esp English world one, I bought in online gradually. in every cent I spent shows my decision’s value and precise. thx, dad God, in this sunny morning.

Feb 16,2016

research election campaign in dream. dreamt of modern election exercise. this dawn dreamt detailedly in a election campaign. I carefully watched classes of people brought afore. the result not so sure and caucus hard to judge for win. after got up I had to breakfast in KFC a bus stop away second time after landed from the flight. the dorm canteen operator returned from lunar vacation but lack impetus to open service. my dorm working environment quite intactly kept, in a day I settled most necessary updates and instalment. in face of unclear financial difficulties in 2016, I pray solely my job here may complete. credit overdraw urgently need return for fluid, but I now haven’t cash to facilitate the process. last night after shut down pc, I casually peeked the possibility of hostility and ill will in my kid brother’s family treated us in our 2nd flight tour. they might hate us and attempted hurt us. there is possible battle among my old family upon dad’s inheritor. after all 2 KFC breakfast is delicious and my focus improved. Dad God, grant me bonus this salary day to ease my credit crisis. empower my credit card’s purchase and readiness in its mobility of currency. bring me sooner my Royal China when it matters. grant us adequate life style we enjoyed so far. thx, dad God.



{February 10, 2016}   like a new dime after the vacation.

9/2/2016

time to reckon back way. dreamt of madly promoting my Royal of China. first I appeared in campus canteen. I found my spoon missing. I afraid it was contaminated and search it. my Nankai Univ alumni, Zhang Chongfu appears. then in the crowd of leaving school students in campus, I turned more and more desperately promoting the message that I was the Emperor owning the country. some parents, including a parent and also likely a teacher, heart me carefully. I then acclaimed I will pay her triple times her cost even I doubt it would be costly for the throne. then I saw Peng Jinglei, one of my Huanggang senior middle school alumni, just in the crowd, I acknowledged him, “how is Peng Dehuai in ur family?”, his sweats dropped like tears. I then woke up. Its first dream in which I dreamt of confronting my alumni truth I declared so long in cyberspace, my Empire from my ancestor, and madness in persistence in adversity. my 2nd flight tour with my son, woz, near its end. even now I felt sleepy, for my brother’s family usually went to bed around mid night. in lunar new year they crazy with gift cash and video talk with hometown village folks. I spent lots of lessons to alter his complacent upon his current messy work flow and badly organized work space, his loose income should replaced by well planned, economic production profit. I urged him read daily to maintain thinking and vision. he dislike my preaches but more or less he understand his small enterprise not so rosy. his wife made many delicious meals, left my stomachache frequently secrets acid burning liquid in dream for overfull dinner. now time to foresee return flight. last night I showered woz and myself. my brother promised will drive us to airport. I enjoyed so much the journey. God, dad, I hope I didn’t hurt my brother’s ambition, his sense of visionary. I hope our grand father’s Empire brings him confidence as my holy spiritual wake up. I hope his mean habit, his premature entrepreneur grows unshakeable plenty of our Royal China. dad God, I didn’t mistaken holy completion in this lunar holiday vacation. bring me sooner my girls, my crowd Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, into my new family. bring me my Royal China when I productive. spare useless bets on robust of my offspring and Empirical inherit. grant us smooth flight returning to northeastern China where I fought for freedom and better world so far.

1/2/2016

dreamt of Japanese prostitutes. in dawn dream I visited brothel with a Japanese friend. I first time accepted prostitute service. I chose 2 girls, one younger and one taller. but sex seemingly not successful. nearly a week past since I brought my son visiting my kid brother in southern China. I tried hard to perceive his situation and offered lots of innovative suggestions which unpopular and repulsive. I also want he loan me ¥5000 aside flight tickets which costs him 10000rmb to fluid my credit overdraw. till now he complained economic hardness and refused to loan. ICBC previously extended me a week to return debt otherwise possible disabled my credit card but fortunately till now they didn’t buzz me after a week’s probation. in the week my brother lingered in his mill daytime and lately returned around 11pm. I accompany my son and first son of my brother at home aimlessly. in such a inhospitable circumstance I eager to flight back to Qiqihar, my 2nd hometown. we ate spicy cheap food and lost appetite soon. but last night my brother treated us dining out and I swallowed there. before the dinner we arranged to play arcade console games in the shopping mall. my son competed hard in racing game against his cousin, 2 years older than him. lately we shopped for lunar new year. my notebook finally got its power sock converter and my son and me both watched our favorite online videos after mid night before went to bed. here drizzled since we arrived and coolness in house kept woz staying on bed while gaming on his pad. my brother’s house is elegantly spaceful, but badly untidy. I blamed him for several times and now I don’t intend to preach more for a narrow minded man. its not wonderful as what I imagined but my tiring battle against PRC surveillance healed. after the Spring festival, my financial situation might worsen steeply but God dad, I have faith in the way leading me through. dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my girls in new year in new family. grant us debt free and purchase power among my credit cards.

17/1/2016

prepare to launch. dreamt building house with my alumni. A teacher led us to push down a wall. Chenfeng, Hunan graduate in my Nankai Univ alumni, push so hard that fell with the wall and startled me by possible tragedy. then dreamt with my son before flight tour, which demands detailed list of future activities to prove innocence. I burned brain to cover all possible agendas in the list to satisfy censorship. last weekend fulfilled with joyes when my son unpack new purchased goods in my dorm. we have first compute stick for portable computing, for securer storage. my son less gamed on pc while immersed in his pad games. on Sunday he first time forgot bringing his gears for spa. he likely grows and looking into more wonderful world other than video games. his mom now less intervenes my work in her house for my son’s living standard. in our gathering I complained a lot about closer surveillance PRC tyrant exerts upon us. now the last week before we cruise our 2nd flight tour together. that’s likely the main concern we seldom touched. 2015, esp lunar 2015, brings so many surprises we hardly counted on. in cheerful 2016 we eager to gain its preview and outline. aboard will do the job and alienate curiosity. God, dad, grant me return some of my credit deficit, ensure my credit’s purchase power and readiness. prepare us a happy journey in southern China. bring me my Royal China when I productive.

14/1/2016

dream of military talk. dreamt first play go with an alumnus, with his friend, a PLA commander of PRC as side watcher. I discussed with the battalion about military organization, claimed on battle field a battalion is a standard unit, rather than squad nor company. I also discussed CCP history and its strategy. during the chat, we saw a huge ant lair in building. these days peacefully enjoyed English world online after half settled vpn router app. intensified contacting vpn support team under PRC surveillance led to draw: I can’t access vpn from router, but its desktop version grants me youtube and open world as first time I was amazed by. yesterday I trying to deploy the vpn service on my second router, a Chinese gee router, its again blocked at once, even previous HK based vpn servers unable to connect, too. the sinking PRC bitch too weak to afford anything extra, and tries all means to honey pot domestic users with infected hardware and software, just for sinful espionage and breaking apart massive angers before last straw weight it down. this week I also ditched my 3 dynamic sites on google cloud engine, after misconfiguration locks myself outside. I will try to make full usage of google sites, and zoho sites, which both elegant product line. In holy Urgency, I bought myself another gadget, intel compute stick. I’m so complacent after seeing last year’s upgrade of intelligent gears brings about productivity. God, dad, grant me remove credit deficit more or less in lunar new year. enable my credit with purchasing power and sustainable capacity. grant us smooth flights between here and our vacation destiny, my kid brother’s house in southern China. bring me sooner my Royal China, Asoh Yukiko, my other sweet girls, as well as our best fruits, into my new family. dad God, led me to new level of glory and grace.

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6/1/2015

bell rings for victory. its like an essay. I dreamt I was a little small girl who orally cites in dream world. she works in a chemical factory or company. she said many old chemical materials after years turns like a thin paper, a blow can destroy it. she has me as her husband and another girl colleague. one day she found her or her colleague had great discovery and turns famous. the girl admires the celebrity so much she decided to show her love. her husband agree to her plan. she bought the celebrity gifts, who accepted and drank with them in the party. the little girl drunk and had to release herself. but mistakenly wrapped shits in huge tissues and stuck inside her clothes and slept. her husband found later the huge shits and help her clean it. her mother-in-law also offers a hand. the shits seemingly not so foul, like bull shits. its likely a small town, small changes in life, steady while boring improvement socially. its likely a victory dream, after so many days hard working against PRC heavy espionage and breaking attempts upon my setup new vpn routers. for deploying the vpn router, I almost pound son’s mom, a stupid moll, with fist, when she forced my leaving while I just in heat fixing. the small woman buzzed police station demanding cop’s visit but delayed or refuted. I waited some time till found hardly able to continue work, then I left. those 2 workdays each almost 18 hours non-break till late night I fought online to get update for the vpn router while sinking PRC surveillance blocked all means. I contact support team of the vpn and got tips quite helpful. last night near 1 am, everything works well, including claimed 2 auxilary mobile phone numbers from Chinamobile for my son and myself, but this morning turn on one router found it update again ruined. God, when I can get rid off this scam in PRC, my vested kingdom? grant us new open cyberspace with aid of new vpn, dad God, grant me access English world and world view of united God’s kingdom on the earth. thx for all breakthroughs and task on going.

27/12/2015

dreamt being in media industry again. dreamt my old career, media. my once colleague, Xu Chuanyou, appeared in office and brag his investment. then I worked as chief editor of media company whose boss is Li Ka-shing. I made lots of efforts on designing skyline scene as new cover image of our new campaign. Li heard my report and arranged support for my promotion. then on roof of the office building, I arranged crew, reporters onto world affair stage. our business booming and I woke up. these days constrained by mis-configuration and can’t access my google cloud engine. one of my site, zho.io, went offline for week after succeeded to patch new security, and then went wrong strangely. I searched the web for fix but misled by tutorial with faults, put my all site and security key vulnerable public. likely the automatic protective mechanism prevents me logon since then. lacking of linux administratiive skill upset me deeply, even sometimes online community quite helping and growth of learning inspiring. the canteen operator’s family gathering again, his old mother, whose manner always repulsive for me, might urge her daughter-in-law, the only woman in the operative team of the canteen I admit, refuse to loan me for return my credit deficit. the operator and his wife both lied when I asked for loan. in holy confidence when I bathed in sunshine after lunch in front of dorm, I decided time to book flight for scheduled son’s winter vacation in my kid brother’s house in southern China. soon with my credit I got 2 ticket of airline. my kid brother generously sent me ¥5000 to cover the expense. with it, I returned historical loan, ¥1400, to the canteen at once and likely let the operator at loss. with year end closing, my son and myself cheered by coming visit southernly.
God, dad, after so many tries I more and more got familiar with securer Internet access. now I enjoy boarderless cyberspace so much. I try my best to cover my son with best education and entertainment online, esp from US. thx for the solid improvement, thx for peaceful workspace here around us. bring me sooner my Royal China to educate more freedom lives on the scarry land in sinking PRC. bring me my girls and our offspring for joy of heavenly. thx fiancial support, esp my respectable credit cards, changes my life so much.

22/12/2015

dreamt of alumni.dreamt just after entrance exam. I frustrated upon my test score and didn’t want to check how it is. then Wu Jiang, my Nankai Univ classmate and long time class leader, berthed upper me, now a professor in US, murmured my enrollment admirable. 3 university enlisted me, including Nanjin Film Academy, which he claimed the only domestic acting school allows students not have to stand to learn every lesson. likely a famous accounting university also enrolled me. Yang Jin, also Nankai Univ alumnus now Canada citizen, also show his envy. then I boost his dignity in his choice university, likely accounting specific, too. I claimed nowadays most important companies employ accounting company for their financial report to stock market, so the accounting market open,consolidate and capable. Yang glad to hear my affirmative. I then enjoyed my success I almost mistakenly overlooked. then Wang Yunqing, a Nankai annumus from northeastern China and now a manager in state mine company in his hometown, whose major is accounting and enterprise management, asked me something and I inspected for him. last Sunday I told my son, woz, Hope of China, God of Universe, my decision to move farer from him, against his mom’s manipulation of his timetable for her profit. I will only visit him on Sunday and just spend time with him for shower and lunch weekly. my son didn’t comment upon the change which will leaves more time alone on him, at least from his dad. we ate toast buffet I enjoyed more and more grilling on my own, but he only ate first several slices and full. in bathroom I bathed him mostly, left him clean shampoo himself. when I alone showering, I felt dizzy and worn arm almost unbearable. escaped from the spa, his mom waited us at home. the woman in unusual weak voice ask my son’s companion after we tried awhile pc games. I left previous before they preparing to leave. in Monday I tried again to add google ads onto my site, agarten.in. failed but knowledge increased on the web app. China surveillance recently frequently hard reset and cut down my physical network about half hour each time, and so on when they can’t afford. the miserable bitch relentless insults frustrations. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China to family my children. bring my girls when I empowered for tender and beautiful. grant me pay back more debt to bank, foresee my journey with my son to southern China with my kid brother’s family in lunar new year. thx for the snowing, dad God.

19/12/2015

dreamt getting trouble in hometown of been loved as same gender. dreamt I enjoyed school term vacation at hometown, Zhudajiu. my passed mother appeared in dream. the one of my cousin, quite older than me, punished their daughter who acclaimed in love with me as gay. I was at home and absent from the troubled scene where the rebellion daughter shamed and admitted guilty, but at a distance where I can hear and discuss my confession with crowd around myself. in the mid, the gay I engaged turns to be a handsome elemental school teacher in family name Liu lives neighbor village and whose sister married a villager just near my old house. I defended my emotional innocent. that was dream when I napped after sent my son, woz, to his custody, his mom after a night ported in my dorm monthly. this past week I busy with restore layout and adsense element on agarten.in, one of my dynamic sites hosted on google cloud engine. I made hard and slow progress in situation where frequently programming skill needed while I seldom gained in past career. but it almost done before I fetched my son after his swim exercise near 7:30pm in downtown Qiqihar. waiting since the afternoon put me relentless. I also tried new steam games before my son can join in his descending my dorm. in the chill on bus stop I witnessed so many young persons in their prime time while I prayed for a young wife so many years. with my son we did quick shopping in Walmart, in which slumppy economy put less customers at scene and we first time didn’t queue to check out. we still spent near ¥300 there, including foods, pillars, and hardware tool I admired long ago. in nearby KFC, we ate deliciously and left prompt. settled in dorm, my son tried games I prepared for him and myself. he forgot bringing glasses with him, so I took him away from screen soon and urged him played his pad games for the sake of his sight. he has huge update list and till 1 am I got up powered down the dormroom. I also found his quilt needs rearrangement lest uncover his back and body. its my fault to urge him put more of rest quilt between us on same bed rather than allowing it slides onto ground which usually dirty and spilt with water for we clean our feet with hot water before bed. next morning I sleepy while my son got up early around 7am after a late night before 11pm. he urged to leave first for he dislike the tentatively separating us tiny woman, his mom, would arrange electronic music lesson again upon his late return. I took taxi after KFC breakfast and at his mom’s house, he soon took away to swim exercise by visiting grandma’s companion. returned to dorm again I tasteless and gave up fixing site’s adsense problem and napped, after cleaned my room, ventalized indoor. dad, God, my life here lends where for glory? I don’t know. I cherish moments so much with my son, and prepared them heartedly, but more and more an even brighter shift ahead turns clear. dad, God, let me fulfilled with joys there when the Son’s glory deserves. bring me sooner my girls when I mates, bring me my Royal China when that matters the earth event. thx for the cover of dream, dad, God, for message in this sunny afternoon.





15/12/2015

1st post on my new intel nuc. recent bare expectations almost all settled, after relentless checking package status from website and dorm reception desk. last Sunday my shower water a bit cool and almost let me get cold. So I decided change my old woolen sweater after a sweating night and restored health. the new clothes were bought from amazon after my wrest too painful to stand straight and doubting what’s wrong with me or my clothes. new under clothes very fit and functional, even thin as it is. my nephew, who operates a clothing shop at taobao.com, sent me some clothes, but the parcel was cut half a large opening when it arrives me, no if nor how many items stolen. the express service might highjacked by a midaged man I got known. I first attracted by his wit comment upon huge heap of Chinese holiday parcels, then found he alcohol additive. then found him holding my parcel and delayed, I complained to amazon. he soon informed and buzzed in threatened me with referred my once workplace pals in QRRS, unveil histroical hate and grudge. he then bumped into my dorm room attempting intimidate me. this time he torn my parcel is obvious clue the hate even acide and dangerous. I hope the ill patient soon find himself home if he treats his work so badly. this week also saw 3rd shoes I bought from amazon US fits my son well and he enjoys it.after 2 previously wrong sized and kept in my stock. his lounge smart TV, powered with windows 10, also at his disposal. after all these wonderful gifts my debt to bank ammounts to ¥60,000. I looking forward year end bonus ceases awhile urgence and ready my family expenses spaciously. this dawn dreamt with my Huanggang senior middle school alumni, Wanglewen, leaving my hometown Zhudajiu. someone likely deceased in the village and on way we met monsters, bestility. the latter likely echo of a BBC report on Chinese girl graduates likes web exotic literature. after made water and noted my dream, I returned to bed and dreamt mostly with my son, we likely trying test something. last night was snowing. in the dusk I visited my son with KFC, with his parcel, 3 thick Japanese woolen sock for his boots without inner fur. the grandma claimed without fur it should be cold, so I equipped him with the expensive socks to make use of new boots as soon as possible. when he returned from his swim lesson, I accompanied him ate KFC and unpack socks, then I returned to my dorm in the white world. God, dad, here I pray coming year end, including the month, allow me returning more my credit deficit. grant us a smooth holiday travel to my kid brother’s house in southern China. grant us full power of credit to harness up. bring me sooner my Royal China, my crowned Qureen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me my girls and our offspring graciously.

7/12/2015

dreamt chasing a girl Japanese graduate. later I met her in supermarket, where we found common topics. when she found her lost socks appeared in other 3 Chinese bucket, a parent and his son-in-law, the Japanese girl weeped. I hold her tight and made clear the stealth. when we left, our hearts fulfilled with love. I had to get up to blog the dream, near 7 Am. Yesterday was a great day. amazon surprised me in 2 or 3 days delivered a Led TV I ordered to woz’s house. I settled it yesterday, with son’s cooperation during installation. It works perfectly with intel nuc, new vpn my family adopted also works steadily. in dusk, my youngest sister and brother both buzzed me. my sister now caring her 1st son and daughter-in-law after her grandson born recently, offered me another ¥1000. my brother dropped to see if I need more clothes against winter chill. I told my sister how her children strongly blessed, urged her measure merits more valued than fast rich. I also disclosed my wrest painful in past week and I tried to fix it by bought myself new looser woolen pants. last Saturday I brought my son watched 3d movie, “SpongeBob SquarePants”, its a great relax for son, woz, who loves icecream, popcorn and formosa dinner through the cinema. after replaced trousers my wrest pains dilated, I lunched again in Taiwanese cuisine restaurant with woz as Sunday lunch. I tried pc game even not so energetic, and made progress indeed. woz prepared his homework, paintings for new year’s day. when I returned my dorm, his new boots, pants we ordered on amazon US, arrived, after so many weeks we expected. today he will open the parcels and cheer up. that’s how today, Dec 7 starts a blog about my Crowned Queen from Japan, the love still warm after I got up. in doze again near 7am, dreamt my oldest niece treated me in Zhudajiu, our hometown village, with her pocket money and chicken of free range. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to host my girls, my children so beautifully gifted. grant us joyful life we enjoyed so far. in coming salary helps me return credit more and capable. thx silent moment in this dawn when I mistaken 6am as 7am.
Photo Description: woz, dearest son’s homework painting celebrating new year 2016. he painted his proud dad with badge in it.

2/12/2015

new spending for consolidating warehouse. in 2nd snow in Qiqihar 2015, thanksgiving mood allows me executed due task, purchase longest term of ownership over zhone 18 domains. last month renewal partially extended but due insufficient finance anxiousness, this time closes up the regret in the beautiful 2015.
visited son at once after the purchase, but found intel nuc yet compatible with old Haier TV, the os, windows 10 definitely working, but video card crashes each time after bios logo appeared. I was exhausted by difficulties in the bug after google the problem. so bought woz a new smart TV from amazon. hopeful it works perfectly with intel nuc as lounge media center.
God, risk of deficit might hurt me, result in my painful neck last week, and now my wrest, which times and times so painful that I can’t stand straight right after sitting. grant me healthy lifestyle we enjoy so far. young dogs in the dorm can poison me, sinful woman in son, woz’s house can curse me. the insane daughter and her mom, my son’s custody now, more and more hateful toward my resist to cohere their cheating and dirty way. the bitch, son’s mom, sneered me every time I visiting my son, while her disgusting mom, tried to show me the aspect of carrot. they r in fact couples married, like brothel trap for innocent young man. my civil marriage with the tiny woman no way a chosen, but harsh reaction upon challenging reality in my 33 years old after busy learning and working for living all times mostly setup by enemies of my Royal China.
God, so meaningful 2015 brought about that I never fully grasp ur holy idea. this year means so much for my business here on the planet. save me from debt in coming monthly pay day of my credits. thx the saint snow, dad.
Photo Description: QRRS Dorm’s new member, dorm 4th newly built, in 2nd snow of winter 2015. peaceful as it is, substantial attracting in its design and fresh appearance.

28/11/2015

boring gift season in China. when napped before visiting my son, dreamt played with a rifle. I missed first fire and mistakenly fired the second bullet, which likely on the target, and dissected the 3rd bullet in harsh to avoid been found at scene. these 2 weeks boring in waiting for my parcels ordered online put me in sadness. the gift season, esp the faked 11.11 by alibaba.com, hijacked most express delivery into paralysis. one of my orders, from amazon China, a day later than its longest scheduled deliver date yet kept me waiting, ie. 5 days it still on way from Beijing to Qiqihar. waiting made me vulnerable, emphasized my tender status depends on trifle pleasure of shopping, like reckless Mideast creatures. in the weeks I napped more and more in the morning to escape meaninglessness. I napped so hard that my neck hurt and painful. I hope the motionless of my pinched life turns again fluid after the suffering weeks. now time to visit my son, woz, Hope of China, my dream can be vivid again under sunshine in the featureless winter.
God, dad, its Black Friday and all its news hurries me to purchase while I hardly affordable. grant us financial plenty to have fun in year end of 2015. grant us smooth holiday, including lunar Spring festival in sight now, when deserves us right mood for new year 2016. bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls in new family, when I still enjoy companions. thx for 2015 we harvested so much!



{November 16, 2015}   heaping loans weight gift season.

16/11/2015

1st snow of winter 2015, Qiqihar. this dusk arrives my dorm when I napped in boring. ICBC sms urged me to pay back overdue credit in £5 for my family’s localphone bill. I previously received and paid 1000rmb at once hoping it will cleared automatically. I now buzzed the bank’s phone service and got known I had to clear 2000rmb more before I can order the bank paying foreign currency after PRC currency. I have only 1000rmb at hand so I sms my kid brother who has a small workshop and has foreign currency in business to help me clear my English debt. his sms arrived during my nap, like his mean style first investigate my usage even such a small amount, £10. I felt tasteless for dorm canteen’s dinner after half hour emptily waiting my brother’s help, and half way left to withdraw only 1000rmb from PSBC credit to return ICBC. the I jogged routinely. my breath in the winter first time freezed above my lips and kept me wiping. with so lovely pure white world, I felt blessed. after returned to dorm, I read an article about Russian, ie. the Soviet committed large scale rapes on battle field it won and undisclosed. the tyrant, Stalin, even abused his young wife and likely murdered her. that reminds me of gay’s attitude toward woman, and long time no sex life results my possible insensitive upon woman’s feelings. I recently really upset, even raged by son’s mom’s frequent scorns and despisement during my weekends visits my son. I felt the woman lack of due violent lessons to be such a bitch. God, reinforce me with merit of respecting women, instill confidence and patience upon my new family anticipated so long, my beloved girls. this night is my blogging rarely not in day time, save me from hopelessness during hard time of financial and emotional. coming year end helps me paying back my credit more on my own, free me from burden of my despicable relatives and alumni. bring me sooner my Royal China and my second child for the future of Empire of China. thx, dad God.
Photo Description: snowing night QRRS front square and training people after work over. 1st snow of winter 2015 not so heavy but next dawn will tells the scale.

13/11/2015

dreamt of survival training. in backyard of campus, with my Nankai Univ alumni entered a wasteland when we tried hard to search for water, food and solving puzzles. Chen Xinjian singled out hiding in a shelter and made progress in philosophical readings. a strange classmate used his flag language communicated with a far end mountain and found rescue. a poor elder shitted on my shirt as trick so I had to tolerent him harmlessly. then we found breakthrough to escape the dumpsite and back to dorm area in the campus. then dreamt again trapped and a teacher taught mathematics. gradually I felt hard to follow and asked classmates to help but didn’t work. most of alumni have difficulties but some brilliant minds grasping. I felt so frustrated and woke up. these days waiting for my second intel nuc, after successfully installed first one painlessly. I just feel insatiably upon computing portable, and I can make my research double profits with copying first trophy. this one much expensive with more powerful cpu, larger ram and ssd. its price almost triple as the first one, but I hope It rewards me that I can try some old games on it besides heavy office tasks. credit issuer banks friendly didn’t warn me of over-withdrawal, likely year end bonus in its anticipation same as mine. with the order I previously shifted my first nuc to my son’s usage, shown him how is home building step by step, rather than his mom’s pure poverty in decades, when nothing improved in home hospitality, only bare shabby table and stools for her prey likes CCP and PRC’s orthodox, esp. its education beauracracy compensated China non-constructive instritution since Open Policy but just for the ruling’s teeth and mouth, her class students summoned forth for homework and tutorial with charging years by years. my son’s mom’s mindset is Islamic: suffering, zero accumulation but scattered predating. their life just means killing for living, never planned, systematically social gathering and distribution, no progressive achievement in pattern learning and integration, this render her tuition always screams scenario like kids. she indeed these years treats my son and me like pupils, scorns, rages, compulsive exiles, etc. unstable emotional and trifle facts, like nowadays Arab on world stage. she is a terrorist indeed, a muslim in guise. with mounting digital gears in 2015, I hopefully taught my son Christian world of accumulative innovation, holy plentiness, and constant building with cherish and self-esteem. God instills mercy among us, urges sustaining before change. God teaches obedience and dignity in every common person. with merit of inheriting, our society grows and enrichs.
God, dad, pl bring me sooner my Royal China to sustain the momentum China gains since Ming Dynasty under my ancestor. bring me new family to cultivate flourish forest. thx for message in this blog, and grant us financial capacity to have a joyful new year within months.

4/11/2015

dreamt of aimless. in dawn dream I again lonely dwelt in railway station. 2 women likely proxy there arranging their cargos, mainly clothes, transferring plan, while I tried my best to prepare different plans for versatile future scenarios, like jammed textbooks for exam. these days dreamt less clearer, and sad for burdensome credits.witness so many people enjoy their lives while I brewed as penalty for lifestyle we enjoyed so far, I even felt a bit bitter and unfair. I reached out to a alumna of Nankai Univ but she treated me despicable, promised buzzing me back to let me hang the phone but never hear from her since. I sent her 2 sms later, list my financial data persuading her loan, but never answered. my happy time reuniting my son weekends also under deprivation, his mom tentatively arranged him more activities driving my son away from me.God dad, maybe its time to save expenses for dealing debts to bank but I so much enjoyed expense with aid of credit card hanging out my son.
recent news made me sadder. China should first cover all its citizen social welfare, identified whole society as national object, responsible to care its people’s lifetime wellbeings, end separation and enslave of peasants and miniority, which agonized, humiliated and dissolving Chinese society so long, before allow again any couples to have 2 babies, recently modified outlaw to shift from one child prohibition, once and forever empower civilian has full authority over their nature privacy of family. resume freer birth policy just protect bureaucracy’s interest to produce more human cattle to feed the greedy predator, who never allow least proper defence of their prey, no freedom of speech, no gun trade, no coordinated gathering. China now in the between of united society in Christian, and wilder predating Arabian in which everyone scattered except their fake God, where killing/torment is a norm and no standard for social unit equal, harmony of caring and love, where hate/fear in everyone against everyone exaggerates turbulent wilder birth rate and male supreme female while ironically the latter weight average there. social dissection catalyizes compete of human weapons, brings far more dangers and wastes among human than necessary, devastated nature resources and renders themselves helpless and self-destructive beasts. only mercy and mutual love confined society in Christian saves human from animal, from climate catastrophe on earth. without obligation for the life of the earth, without obligation of earth of life.
another news about elemental school abuse, frequently occurs in sinking evil PRC, never addressed by state but led me dwell. sinking CCP original from violent mob, and now it turns more harmful toward innocent human lives, including pupils. teachers half as bureaucracy, viciously predating students. the dark of China society sadden any mind independent.God, dad, save China youth against massive brain washing, immersive selfish, aggressive exploits, which even obvious in most Chinese colleges and universities.
dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China, my girls when we able to love and productive. bring peace and warmth in dying Chinese society slipping itself into brutal and bloody muslim.God, no one could save China nowadays except the Son. grant me the authority and the task to extinguish the draining darkness shadowing Chinese society. let Christian ignites torch of model for sinking PRC’s following. thx, dad, in this silent morning.

20/10/2015

brutal reality in PRC for kind people. what a terror being in China mainland. last night I read news about intel’s new product, nuc and attracted. after researched some time, I decided time to equip myself this kind of portable computing device as redundancy. computing power so important for me I never felt enough. within an hour I placed my order for an intel nuc at amazon, during my harder financial time when almost all my credit runs out and income base history unsupportive. with the exciting mood, I read a terrifying story in sinking PRC where the dominating CCP bred: 2 dogs ate out limbs of a woman who trying help a little girl endangered by the dogs at large from near residential area. no one responses for the tragedy, not the baby girl’s family nor dogs’ owner. the miserable woman hurted so hard she ran out of tears in hospital, upon frozen chill reality in sinful PRC. what I can do to help the poor victim? angers long time gathered in my mind against dog-a-like CCP who since its birth targeting human and people as prey, and only thing they care is shotgun and bullets controlled to disarm and disabled common Chinese. when Obama yarned his failure to ban American people buying guns freely, I laughed the stupid and treator-a-like partisan his ill will never means to strongthen herotic American but the contrast. only weak Chinese prohibits arming themselves against evil, acted like worms and crippled in dust. tools, not human, changes the world on the earth. but some nations, like Chinese in sinking PRC, still in primitive fighting with bare hands and fingernails. they r enslaved by their sinful leader and government like labor ants or bugs neutralized for worn out, left the latter weaponized to teeth and monopolized. dogs in PRC mostly a second weapon for most of richer persons, who mostly insanely hostile to their patriots, neighbors, or citizens counter. those dwarfs competingly admire large and brutal dogs. most terrifying de facto nowadays is disabled news/media utility in society, allow the mob destroyed credit or memories about people’s behavior. bad guys not need pay their hurts and killings, good people suffer for their properness and merits. the whole cycle/community darkly doomed, for no sight, no focus, but devastatingly scattered and erectless. the charging hand, CCP, itself a beast, a dog whose only doctrine is meat and corpse. only proof it accepts for their wrongness is their bloody death, their turndown by massive violent outburst. their mindless has to be preyed by mind, by soul which is holy. this dawn I dreamt blew half chest of a heavy nut by planting bomb in it. the bomb successfully clear half room for my usage. some of my once colleagues in QRRS appeared in my dream. when I mindly blogging on bed, the brutal story of the poor kind woman attacked and fatally damaged by loose dogs filled me with sadness and angers upon sinking PRC. the event happened 4 days ago, yet no formal reference in public nor official. CCP usually annually promotes national moral idol, why not this case? for they fear the failure of social enabling, failure of dangerous animals’ control, failure of unity of citizen, fear failures harms their fake well-organized social architecture. they fear of frustrations Chinese people gathered in these decades. they fear responsibility and its consequence. God, dad, only Chinese government tried all means to disable its people for maximize its interests. guns only righteous when it used to defend oneself and should defend one’s independence forever. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China to straighten holy way for tormented Chinese. bring my girls and our offspring for the glory ahead. grant me financial plenty to cope my expanding business here. thx, dad.
Photo Description: snack with son, woz, Hope of China, in Qiqihar Supermarket, before join cinema at its 6th floor. we had favorite Taiwanese ice drink. here benzrad, the proud dad, in his son’s focus.



et cetera