benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











{May 16, 2018}   peaceful storm amid mid summer.

May 16,2018

dreamed in my hometown in a raining night. my mother locked a panther in house. my sinful 2nd elder brother tried to risk me to feed it. I feared and escaped, gathered in other villagers’ kids. my mother help me in the dangerous situation. we discussed together including infants in the village. when the panther released to us, we found safely treated it and enjoy ourselves each one. last night it drizzled, with thunders. in the morning it was sunny and I sunburned my quilt. then I busy with sorting my contacts in google accounts and on my mobile, till I found it drizzling. I hasted to collect my quilt but the dorm keeper woman shown me my quilt already shift by someone from yard to dorm hall sofa. it smells with sunburn crisp. seemingly I should grateful for the anonymous helper, but why he or she knew that was my quilt or at least belong to Dorm No. 1, not other dorms shares the central garden? last Sunday my son first time brought his new flip chromebook out when we dined out before shower. for he changed his bag, he forgot bringing wallet with. we penniless and without membership card we blocked from checkout the spa. I first haunted nearby barbershop to borrow ¥30, but the mean hair dresser to whom I tipped quite some times refused. my son had to return to his mom’s house to fetch our membership card. however, after returned home after the frustration, my son now more enjoys his flip chromebook, esp android games on it. that’s Mother’s day. my son’s mom’s girlfriend visited, with her son there to receive tutorial from my son’s mom. the sinful woman preferred my son’s bedroom and there recharging her mobile when I arrived the house when my son absent, in his painting class his mom arranged. I even doubting the woman spying my son’s gadgets there. she soon shifted to bedroom of my son’s mom’s, when I launched to prepare my son bootable rescue disk with ubuntu 18 and windows 10 installation iso. we dined in Japanese cuisine noodles restaurant. the boss’ son at a loss over my son’s new ultrabook, evaded gathering my son but sit neighbor table. his dad queried our new gadget and that’s all response we received in our gear’s first public appearance, except some gaze in public spa from graduates from nearby colleges. woz’s old dell notebook, aided by my Nankai alumni decade ago, shifted to his mom. still the vengeful woman tasteless, complained my eating her grapes her mom prepared at home, without least gratefulness. Dad God, so many shameless mob on the earth. like this monthly cinema experience, “avengers: infinite war”, we need cleanser, need decent extinguisher. the world of plants and animals, the nature already can’t afford human rubbish population. grant us vision to discipline, and unbearable pains of breed race, and disgusting of animality among humanity. grant us sooner vision to rid off nasty Mideast, African, Hispanic cheap human cattle. enliven again our mother earth, our nature sustainable human friendly. bring me sooner my Royal China to be pillar of world strategy stage. bring me sooner my Japanese Queen, Asoh Yukiko, to spread Merit of Japan, heritage of the Empire. grant me financial independence in this coming salary day. rid me off my mean younger brother, who promised to aid me to buy a pair of shoes then next day ate his words and cold shoulders to my adversity. let my teaching in air in wind and free any obligation between us. thx dad God, in this misty morning.

May 8,2018

dreamt at my hometown in my summer school vacation ran a startup, cake and dispatching shop, like pizza hut. the shop likely founded by our neighbor, the first son of village Mao era teacher and a long time secret copycat of my dad’s role model. later I found there is another established competitor, a cake shop ran by 2nd son of village’s CCP secretary. they both treated me with barbecue for the startup and trying invite my partnership, esp in the secretary’s house the CCP cadre and his first son, my once friend and now a bank manager, appeared, and soon I found the arena challenge, in time and season sensitive. its easy to rotten a new cake in your hands at your cost. last night I saw threat against my mean while stable income from QRRS, a SOE I worked for more than a decade till my breakup in an adventure to gain a master degree of politics. I saw nowadays PRC how people insanely reckless just for a job and its salary. I saw since Marxism and modernization, people earn from job and drove by money, and burning out of reserved. heritage and merit ditched, enthusiasm buried by post. I wouldn’t work for a job. I will commit in my vision, unshakable faith and inspire of reason and grace. I saw so many cheap souls, even in elegant complexion among nowadays VIPs in CCP and PRC main stage. the tyrant just whipping hardship of living to coerce obedience from weak mob. God dad, even myself under pressure of my son’s mom, to accept rule of jobbing, to support my family under her stinky guide, stumbling and crawling as PRC main stream. God dad, let me work independently, under your influence of life long career of stone works, regardless orders. let me inherit and abide with my nation. let my people self-rely and self-efficient. bring me my Empire of China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me my new baby, billingzhu. in this sunny morning and newly improving canteen breakfast, let me sing and chord in praises of Goodness.

May 4,2018

dreamt with my son woz on journey. we needed to return to my hometown. the ground very muddy & shitty. we managed to aboard, but soon the driver found tourists to my hometown too few so outsourced us to another bus. then we passed a historical famous Chinese china factory, yuyao汝窑(于姚)as Song Dynasty chartered china craft. that remind me my 2 once QRRS colleagues, a woman in surname Yao姚, and a guy surname Yu于. they both offspring of once PRC privilege families. Yao’s dad is the company’s deputy secretary of CCP, while Yu’s parents is scholars redirected to QRRS implies Mao’s training in rural policy.
this week esp busy with updating windows with April 2018 release, linux with ubuntu 18. it’s quite smooth, except during my installing necessary tools I was deadly blocked from vpn. last week almost all time waiting our Amazon China parcel, Asus flip chromebook. at first its vendor delayed several days to dispatch after our order accepted. then it went from British to Germany and Poland. then it traveled to HK. then soon clear customs and arrived Beijing, where it deterred 3 times and finally refuted by PRC authority and denied us our shopping. but amazon China didn’t disappointed me, I got my parcel next 2 days through a mid man. my son likely amazed by the gift, I accompanied him setup accounts and then left his own to play with the wonderful product. this Sunday I will check its charisma my own. in this meaningful April, my credit debt mounts to ¥1000, including 3 kinds purchases, cushions for my dorm’s coldness which results in my painful waist, pants for woz esp his mobiles portable, and wire k/m combo replacement of my wireless k/m which malfunctions possibly under nearby attacks. they all dispensable. dad God, what a beautiful early 2018 for us turns out in pressing environmental adversity!
God dad, PRC’s most fatal weapon against our secure informative web is to disable our down stream traffic, and it kills. in recent encounters it occurred more and more frequent, each time as soon as vpn once built connection. ugly dog just out of my door. our dangers in your mercy, God dad. free us from digital wasteland and brutal surveillance and disrespects in the last barking shameless China tyrant. God dad, let me cruise glorious founding of my Empire China, let me enjoy my Royal China with people concerned, esp my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring life vivid with my son, my new baby in my armful. in this summer, let’s wholeheartedly fly higher and atop. dad God, grant us ward free web in nowadays siege of ghost communism in China in deepest darkness.

Apr 25,2018

dreamt in my hometown village opens a new canteen, whose breakfast quite rich, including hundreds of dishes. I hangout there and sat aside a young couple to enjoy my meal. my coat accidentally got dirty with food stains there. It’s a brilliant morning, when I can’t help but first to do is check my parcel’s delivery status after got up. unfortunately it stopped by Beijing customs 3rd times. yesterday I let amazon China called me to assure my parcel on its delivery road, amazon did and assured the forecast of arrival: we will receive our parcel on Friday, Apr 27th, out of its website warning of returning our ordered chromebook back. this week I mostly relentlessly expecting arriving of our purchased gift, and 2 OS, ubuntu 18 and windows RS4, for preparing rebuild our work space. it’s not a torture but let you review your life in pale and constrained. my salary also first time delayed to 24th of the month, while usually it varies from 19th to 23rd. so many awaiting tasks makes April 2018 so special. after all time will win us a better world, equips us better in the world changed largely by Christian. God dad, pave our road the goods sending to us. let PRC surveillance attempting defies our purchase in vain. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, in time as they matter so much. grant me new monuments in building the earth a more fortitude portal of China Royal and world infrastructural of future. bring more obvious worldview of my visionary. thx dad God, in every ray of sunlight we are blessed with hope.

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