benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











{March 26, 2015}   if have another life evergreen.

26/3/2015

dreamt of flying.::these 2 weeks in turbulence. I moved to new apartment, in QRRS Dorm 1st. at first I thought I was chosen only for improving environment, which neat but insufficient heat let it cold. then next few days almost all the dorm 3rd residents moved here. the criminals tentatively don’t flush toilet and bully again bring brutality and tensions here: frequent noises, savagery attitude in common bathroom. my neighbor room is the toilet, half built a shelter occupied by cleaner who is a fat woman and stupid peeking young men’s private life for her emptiness. the facing door resides a man with bone problem which let him can’t stand chest upright but cater to inflexible backbone and couch all time lest pains. he likely also enjoys alone his room, while most dorm rooms shared by 2 or 3 young workers of QRRS, but also more and more local mafias seizes berth here. my apartment windows a lovely small yard with some tall trees, but over a street there is 2 elders’ gate ball playground. in the past week those aimless elders remind me what futile life looks like. the room facing northeastern, never a direct sunshine enters, except in morning half of hour some small red spots on wall aside of my bed around 7am. I had to watch sunshine outside to sense the brilliance of fine weather if I trapped by the apartment coming year. the gay, last night an American Movie remind me his dwarfism like abnormal short legs, projecting forehead, pestered me a few days, by stalking me. some days ago it even followed me alone into washing room and stared at me when I fetched hot water. I cursed in air and it stopped the beast for a day. then next day when I daily rambled after dinner it pursued me again and again next day. it tried all means to annoy me, to frustrate me. in the process I gradually had insight plots from higher order, in QRRS, in sinking tyrant of PRC. these nights I also had trouble to fall into sleep. in this dawn I dreamt flying again. its like electromagnetic skating, demands smooth breath, balanced firm while steady boost. my passed dad, God in Heaven now, smiled and encouraged me by his present noticed. I later even can carry my son to fly. we passed a 2 or 3 boys dancing band in their school. one of them tried drug for his better performance and likely addictive. its a sunny morning and I enjoyed canteen breakfast without been stalked. girls in the dorm last night shared the washing room with me when I peed for sleep, its so sweet among shits of gays.isn’t it my nightmare to vanish? isn’t my private life, peaceful and fruitful, commencing? dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring my new family, my offspring when it matters most. grant us free debt, joy of being gifted. thx, Father.

16/3/2015

dreamt of PRC’s general & diplomatic minister, Chen. :: in dawn dream saw family life of Chen Yi, general and diplomatic minister of new PRC. he and his wife on vacation tour. his son likely friend of us. a film director, Feng Xiaogang, also appeared and commented like all his famous acid remarks. the freak gay in dorm still stalked me like a ghost. this morning he suddenly sit on my next table when I ate my breakfast, and tentatively walked in front of me when I left, even I lingered quite awhile after the insane left his table.God, the dorm director promised me I will move to another dorm among QRRS 3 dorms. any other dorm environment better than current one. the director said it should done latest in July. God, dad, rid me off these abnormal persons sooner. they broke hot water tank and other common utilities in the dorm, don’t flush toilet, slam doors in front me, humiliate me with gay signals for so many times. yesterday my son and I equipped first time with our own bath bag, which costs us ¥100 and stylish. we brought shampoo by them to dico’s to eat lunch before showering in public spa. we had good time in the Taiwan franchise restaurant. woz’s pad has more new games I prepared for his play. my son asked me to spend more time with him in Sunday and we both made proud progress in video games each. my game and gamepad skill improved a lot in these years with my son’s companion, who instills confidence and meaning of better performance in simulation like games as important as big business in the traditional world. the night in dorm I didn’t watch video, but just roamed. thx God, glory of Son fulfilled me with faith. dad, God, bring me sooner my Royal China into my new family. bring my girls and my new offspring under beautiful day light. grant me passing through monthly credit load successfully. thx, dad.

13/3/2015

dreamt of lesbians in my old family. ::recently I quite times reviewed my old family. my mother who had tendency of lesbian and later encouraged my dad adopted his young apprentice who accompanied my dad for more than dozen years and finally tried to slight my dad lately. she wanted the gay apprentice serving my dad instead of her, who long time rendered caring my dad as boring and loathed for chores. her usual trick was turning herself sick and bed bound. but my dad seldom noticed and scorned her to resume our normal family life. my dad told me the apprentice tempted to kiss him when I buzzed him. I called the sick apprentice next day as a warn and told my dad who reached out me my action to fix. my dad almost unable to believe my helping hand, assured twice by me the call in the phone. that was months before his passing by the world he manifests so brilliant to me, his 3rd son. so many years my mother selling her cheat: she claimed the apprentice treats my dad well, sent him gift money, usual ¥50 annually without break, and I never found the fog that she wanted my dad gay, to spare her lesbian inclination. my grand dad never took it, but just let it go. he usually don’t respond the gay apprentice babbles and fell into sleep soon, while the gay stayed lately in my parents’ room, esp when I returned to hometown during school vacation. my mother has a sinful mind. this dawn I dreamt of my hometown again, my sister-in-law, IE. my 2nd elder brother’s wife, a die hard lesbian, made our neighbor surrendered by her bitchiness. being a whore, a shameless dirty animal she drained my old family steps by steps. she also likely humiliated my first love, girl Lyu when she visited our house bravely without notification back to our senior middle school. for no spare room, she was arranged to sleep with my sister-in-law who just married my brother. my girl Lyu never returned to me after the night slept in our house. the sister-in-law even seduced her dog, which let my brother wanted to kill but it fled. these undercover events evaded me for years, but now emerging in the curse dooms my unsuccessful marital life. God, dad, in ur sunshine I baptized. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crowned Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring my girl Lyu, girl Zhou, girl TW, and our robust offspring. let us pave ur road on the earth, dad, God.

10/3/2015

dreamt of house and garden.:: seemingly lots time passed during these colorful activities with my son, woz, ending lunar spring holiday including cinema, shopping Walmart, dine out. I even less work log at rememberthemilk.com, for life so wonderful when U just taking things u like, with adequate financial support. woz previously less attracted by android games, but since last Sunday the situation improved, with new games I prepared him rather than encourage him hunting in google play store on his own. my sinful 2nd elder sister 2nd time told me she will loan me ¥1000 but the bait yet at large. so many cheap souls in my circle, God! meantime the weather, esp spring sunshine fills my heart with anthem of glory, and hope of new settlement. in dawn dream I busy with decorating our house, likely with once intimate 2 girls in my life, Liu or son’s mom. I again don’t act arbitrarily, trapped by financial dependence or son’s mom’s insane orthodoxy in guise. then with my son, woz, hope of China, God of universe, we gardening in our yard. my son enjoys the grass, bees, while I busy digging coins from soil where neat and solid. there is another kid unknown there. after breakfast in canteen, I reckon time to allow these golden memories harvests in my cyberspace. God, dad, these days more buffeting upon my faith. God, I cherish current golden silence before even greater glory ahead. God, don’t leave me idle, leave me engaged. bring me sooner my girls, my Royal China. let me raise my sons sooner. thx, dad.

Advertisements


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: