benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











utterli-image
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family of neighbor.

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the road to zhudajiu, my hometown village.
it has been days since i returned from Tianzhen, the town my elder sisters,
including my most cherished family member, my youngest elder sister, live.
the decision to return Zhudajiu, my hometown village, was when i caught
sight of the burning sunshine outside of elder sister’s house’s window,
which is rightly my long time dream in Qiqiqhar, northeastern China, and the
cause of my hometown journy. another reason is the rain here, so plenty each
time it pours and times it occurs. this morning and recent days i reviewed
the love from a girl student under family name lǘ (in Chinese the syllabus
can also mean rain), when she regularly haunted emakingir’s house for
English tutorial even her English score quite satisfying in ema’s school.
she loves me and shown it with her best way she can adopt. she even
descended to fight with ema around the table in ema’s house to exam if she
qualified to win me aside her in her life from my old family. i today
learned from holy message that her love to me is true and divined. i would
grant her to make ways to reach me and live along me in my life.
that love also remind me a early love occurred in my senior middle school,
in a prodigious school, Huanggang middle school, Hubei Prov., central China.
a girl always with marvelous scholar scores and frequent the top score owner
in our grade, in the same family name lǘ, visited my hometown and slept in
our old house a night when we took occasionally, at least for me, the same
ship returning our hometown in vacation. i never second time receive the
same level of brave a girl can shown upon her beloved. at that time we r in
our fifteen’s and i never dared to attracted her fond, for in most of my
senior middle school years i was depressed by insufficience on score in
exams. i don’t know the night what happened to her, but she didn’t contact
me anymore after it, in the rest of our senior middle school years. i missed
her very much but never had the confidence to invite her interview with me
again. the last time i cared her up in my heart is when i saw she sat with a
guy from the same county of hers on the grass in the school in sunset and
talked. i then sure i was a loser and i put my long time love for her into
death pool. the guy later didn’t become her husband, but gracefully and
enviable for most Chinese young men migrated into US with a scholar career.
he is rightly the man help me get my first domain, be21zh.org, from American
domain registrargodaddy.com. while the lǘ, palely settled in a secondary
city, Yichang, within Hubei Prov., likely continued to research her major in
college, virus. i never had an insight of the life or psychic set of a
extradinarily able girl or woman, and also never got insight to the brave
and sudden visit she brought to me the quite early year in our youth. she
was a puzzle in my life, and i awared it before i first time fell into
madness, back to 1999 or so.

its a cool day, after 2 days of first wave of heat in the summer here in
Hubei Prov., central China. i enjoyed the dry and solid heat in burning
sunshine very much, as i long time expected and the meaning of my hometown
journey, the great gift from my Japanese girl and fiancee, Masheng. it
started to rain in sunset, a real surprise for me, for it don’t usually have
too many rains on the latitude in summer. most of my beloved, r strong and
powerful girls, i know, and i enjoyed my favored fate with so many beautiful
creatures of God, they r in fact one of my wife, but very different facets
of one diamond of the most beautiful. they live with strenth in my universe
in my shine, all the one and Mightiest God’s set.

its now just after noon, and breeze let me glad. with the help of Masheng, i
now befriend with wind, esp. breeze. quite some other sounds still kinds of
alarms for me, let me in fear of God’s rage, or enemies’ conspire that can
hinder the way toward my Royal or kingdom, but i will live with all power
from God, and live in joy forever gradually.

ps: when i posting recent 2 blogs, folks’ hatreds arriving, a weeping women
came to my old house to tell her being beaten by the same villagers. its all
the demons against my Royal, here esp. my past dad, the God. they surely
only one way to leak their failure and envies, that’s death, sooner or
later.

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i was asked to visit my elder sisters’ home before i arrived my hometown.
so, after stayed at hometown village, zhudajiu, for more than a week, i
visited Tianzhen, the town i haunted when i studied in junior middle school
some mile away, and my past eldest sister lived near the town when then
worker class in China society in rural area still domineer and enviable. all
my sisters married in the town but i most missing my eldest sister, who once
the proud of my old family, and commit suicide by jumping into Changjiang
river in a dawn after quarreled with her husband when her 2 children still
in their childhood. that’s the bravest deed i ever known. so many year i
still got courage from her, knowing that one thing anyone can pick, death.
in the week in the town, i slept in my youngest elder sister’s house, while
went to work online in my second elder sister’s house, where evils
frequently challenged me. the house owner, my elder sister’s husband, a
family name ruan (the same syllabus in Chinese can mean soft), just like my
baby’s grandma, is really a demon, the 2 nephews from the start peeking my
life and attempted to mimic me. God knows how they frustrated in the process
of stealth and envy.

this week, i almost did what i in view that’s important. my sleep was not
smooth, for weak sound, like crack or steps around, can woke me up. my elder
sisters, as well as their husbands, all in rotation of working time table,
cater to the full orders in the cement factory they work for. most of time i
was alone slept in the whole house, on second floor. in my hometown village,
even more sounds in nights, for the mountains and forest so close, and there
r cattle. so i usually listening till mid night exhaust took me into sleep.
quite some of them really holy message, God sees my life sounder here in
coming months.

its the first morning i returned hometown village from Tianzhen town. last
night i listen a lot, and dreamed a lot. i dreamed of God and his way of
evolution, from one to 2, to 4, etc. i also felt the perished environment,
including the ill will from my mother, my sister-in-law or my eldest
brother. i dreamed surveillance in college, and among the students of God
message, including that from my blogs. i also know my beloved suffering
surveillance exerted by the China authority nowadays.

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