benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…鸠昱隆嘉











after returning to the dorm i tried to rest some time in the threats of dog nearby.after 11 am i launched to see my baby.the grandma and the kid sister there with my baby walking at the waiting room.the lunch including a large fish,and i drank beer with it the grandma open to add flavor to cook fish.i also let my baby tasted some and the rest was taken by his mother not to let me fed my baby with it.soon she felt faint with its alcohol.she had to attending her school for its students now taking term exams in weekends.i commented china now use illegally the children labor of students overtimely.after lunch i busied awhile to sort my downloaded to pc and my baby hampered me.the old sisters left to shower,so i gave up pc and cared my baby.my baby slept in my songs and slept for more than an hour,which was overstated by the kid sister.after my baby woke up after 3:30 pm i felt very sleepy,likely threatened heavily,just before the sisters arrived.then the kid sister prepared my showering tools,including the mop and teeth brushed and towel she used.i ditched teeth brush and the mop,just picked the soup,shampoo and towel.i bought a mop at the common bathroom,costing 2 yuan.the bathroom increased its price to 3.5 yuan now.just when i uncoated myself,a doggie was let into the room and sniff around me.i strode to drive it away and know its a plot of dog.when i started shower,the dog of the nearby independent large house of former high rank ccp carder of the railway station barked for sometimes.after returned home i held my baby went out to receive his mother.we ate a ice cream,suggested by the grocer in response of shortage of what my baby asked type.its milk with dry grape in.my baby didn’t eat the grape each time he met.his mother almost miss us and we called her back.at dinner i drank wine and let my baby tasted it.after dinner threatens around let my baby irregular and his mother tried to attracked him with multimedia for baby,but he just bump onto the lcd of the notebook,and let his mother cluelessly.i watched aside and doubting if i should left to alleviate the ill wills cast by dog around in the residential building.his mother finally let me leave,and my baby farewell to me,likely not so welcome.when i arrived the dorm,its a quarter to 9 pm.and i felt so sleepy and i finally didn’t went to cafe to blog.its likely my first time missing a day without blogging it after my adopted my current life style.i turned agile near 0 am and wondered till about 0:47 am and then went to bed directly,with pills taken. i dreamed a lot.in a scene i beset in a daguanyuan (titled after hongloumeng,chinese classic literature)(garden of marvellous views) built by corean.i woke up after 12 am and got up after 2 pm.i wandered awhile in the room then went to renew my borrowed pc mag but the libray was locked so i moved to the workers’ palace.i read some magzines there and a newspaper,’world reference digest(cankaoxiaoxi)’.there r some reports about china’s out-extended activities among africa,to laundry its bubble money.when challenges turned thick with more dogs beseated around me,i finished my reading and haunted the beijing opera lounge.this time less women and man distorted.three old man sang,in the role of fortitude and lonely and enduring heros.the final likely sang in the role of emperor himself.in a moment i felt chinese tradition of history oriented and felt trust onto it,including common people’s witness all seasons as parts of history in the form of opera and folk story.after returned to dorm,i jogged in the yard with fresh snow for about an hour.a girl leaving with baggage and i followed her outside of the gate and felt she was blessed with her hometown,while i had idled for more than 15 years without my hometown.esp.after my grandpa’s leaving i was deserted on this earth.dinner i asked for additional food.that’s my only expense of 4 yuan today on board.in the dorm i just waited for time for cafe overnight.neighbor room started to introduce female.when i arrived the cafe i recently haunted a crowd jammed on the reception desk.i waited for some time.when i peer around and found its lcd was all occupied with 2 near the reception desk was declared booked i shifted to a nearby cafe.its space was highly utilized,very jammed.its front usb port was diabled but i tried the back usb port which working.but my ftp account can’t connected with the servers.so far i busy with blogging,and don’t know how to kill time without warez stuff to play around. bye.i love u.in the afternoon and night i heard lots of songs of goodbye to love.but i insisted getting u,i needn’t a love without u exactly being aside me in my life.i need ur hands in my hands.today is the memory day for the leaving of zhouenlai,the former premier of prc.and the sky was decorated with some clouds and blunt sun.and i know its a merciless day under dog’s threat. kiss u with tear and beer.
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last night i posted for more than an hours and charged for 2 yuan.my backup uploaded to my google group at http://groups-beta.google.com/group/benzyrnill succeeded after the last minutes in this cafe now i will spent my third overnight in it tonight with its enviable 19 wide screen lcd,but what i downloaded from the backup files on google all different in size of the original and can’t be unpacked,2 times from different cafes,likely dog broke in my download byte flow.now i registered myself an domestic web disk service provider and my upload now speedy.i also published 2 home movie of my baby today on the skate ground in first real serious snow in this winter and some pictures of my baby onto youtube.com and picasaweb of google.that’s satisfying.
last night i went to bed earlier,after 10 pm.i slept sound and missed urgent in love emotion.i got up at 0:11 am and went to see my baby at once.they had already finished their lunch and my baby insisted my holding him for some time before his mother accept him to let me eat my lunch.after lunch we played the cotton pots,his mother’s once students’ presents,as my baby’s pastime.he also tried to play with knife but later the kid sister took it away.the kid sister laid herself on bed reading.when we felt boring we went to outside.on the skate place in the sports yard,i first laid my baby on the ice ground and started to take out the camera but my baby cried miserablely.so i let him play,push him skating on the ice with his feet projecting forward.he enjoyed silently,and sincerely watched the people aound skating.i later shot some pictures and movies.his mother loathed to shot picture outside recently,refuted me sometimes,including my suggestion at noon.dog aound let me tired when i pust my baby half coutched,but i tried to arrived the other end of the yard and sat on a bench among 2 little girls.we then moved to the south garden.my baby asked for food but the grocer absent.my baby kept solemn all time outside.on the way returning home he asked for icecream.we ated it at once.and he urgent to return,and later i know he was urgent to make water or chill hurt his hands without gloves.after arrived home and finished the ice cream i went to urine with him,he made a abount water after me.and his hands and feet really cold.he enjoyed my holding him out and i love him so.when time near to receive his mother,he disliked to leave so we stayed.the kid son of the kid sister arrived and teased my baby to laugh a lot.when dishes ready,he asked me to feed him with potato and carrot slice.then the mother and the kid son also started to eat.then his mother returned.i explained his son first asked to eat dinner.she cared my baby to eat till my baby didn’t eat.i drank wine.after dinner she told me cafes nowadays insecure,there were incidence of criminal in cafes,including murders.after dinner i started to sort my downloads on the sd card on her notebook and the neighbor monitored me via wireless.my baby was milked and soon slept.so did his mother.i left after finished my work swiftily.i kissed my baby and his mother with sorrow for the challenges around i brought.the dorm room,challenges let me doze.till 8:55 pm i agile and decided to surf the net.on the way i decided to spent overnight in the cafe about 1 mile apart from the dorm zone.in the cafe i was asked to change computer 2 times.so far,i enjoyed my surfing.
bye.i love u.in this pure white world,i recently even eagerer to females,i don’t know which road
leading to u,i just skating in my fate to my destiny.kiss u with fear.i in fact sensed the snow last night.god knows the distance between us.i love u.kiss u again.

Son in first real snow in his first winter on earth

baby in first real snow in the winter



{January 5, 2007}   foggy sunshine all day

last night i felt enjoyable even i didn’t get workable orneta reader mobile and dog modified files on my udisk at the last moment i unpluged it.my 1g sd card was stuffed,which let me felt reaped.i ate breakfast with plaisure.at room dog bited heavily and i can only shallowly dozed.when its after 11 am i felt restore energy but i didn’t get up.when qrrsers returned to dorm i was bited heavily to doze again.i got up after 1 pm and went to renew my borrowed pc magzine.but he library was locked.so i went to read newspaper.a man ahead of me went to return book,so i avoid him and went to neighbor room to listen beijing opera.the singers were doing their best and i got understand different roles in chinese traditional social relation pattern.when a man sang in the role of female,i stayed there after he finished then left to newspaper room.a young dog with very short hairs sat in front of me biting.the librarains babbled.i enjoyed news about the changes internet brought to the world.after finished reading i again haunted the opera practise.just after a middle aged woman finished singing a man again sang in female role.i know some person distorted in soul don’t fear death,they just want to be gay and enjoyed to be gay.returning to the dorm i felt a bit relief about gay and lesbain.maybe american people right,just let the distorted persons to be distorted,let them be.they r dead,and they glad to fight with livings if condemned.so better way just let them to death.
at dinner i asked for additional amount,with adding 1 yuan as payment.a cop in uniform there already eating.
its a sad and resting day.i wondered a lot about my baby after gay push its way into my consideration.
bye.i love u.in misery.kiss u with beer.
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{January 5, 2007}   bright sunny day again

its really laughable,cop desperately retarded my getting oneta reader mobile for ppc 2003.it modified my pda os backup and let the reader can’t go to a page more than 40 or more pages and forced me to jumped over 10 or 20 pages times after times to arrive the location of ebook i last read.it ridiculed me but also shown the dog system had ridiculed to what a redicule level.they fool people in the way fooling its dog.

its second time over night in the newly open cafe,with which last time ruin my posting in the mid.the state spent money on this kind of rubbishs,these dogs to burn the deposit of chinese.i had alternative reader but i liked to equipped my pda with two.dog doomed to fail,times and times again.the harness they adopt doomed to break and loose.china and the world waiting a long time to see its ruin so far,till the day i cover them with earth on this futile land over exploited by dog and its dog-head host.i vow to kill them on the day.
last night i posted in a cafe where i can open my googlepages.com and succeeded upload one part of the rar series of my firefox backup.i find some download links within www.pxdxa.com which was blocked for quite some time while recently free of block for me and they edit the files on the fly online and on my harddisk.with a moment after i got it,or even at the time it sat on my harddisk,the cab file was modified and ill working while other files within the available downloadable pack working.dog right near aroud biting me,turning heavily when i started to backup and retrive links to download orneta reader mobile.they monitored me everywhere,just kept barking.they modified my post on the fly when i typing and copying and pasting.shit,god know who will win in the smart world equipped with software and democratic internet.they boast their harness just like last play of pests before the autumn.not only they lose in the smart soft,but they also lose in the social network.they doomed slept with legacy warez under earth,just like as being dog doomed to extingush in the tomorrow world.

last night i wondered in the dorm after 2 am.i got up today at 11:54 am.when i arrived the lunch didn’t finish.after lunch i started to move downloaded stuff to my pc.my baby was milked but when i finished works and went to see him in bedroom he got agile and i cared him playing since then.he played awhile tap water then cooking tools.then the grandma arrived.the kid sister had being slept in the room,left to shop now.the grandma started to tidy the house and manage the stored vegetable.after the kid sister returned my baby was bored into sleep.he slept for about an hour.the kid sister kept watching,they just want to see my baby had problem with sleep and humiliate him like humilated me in my 30’s.just after 4:38 pm i shoke my baby up from low sleep and went out to receive his mother,against the sisters warns and sidewatch.when we bought ice cream his mother missed us and returned home.we stayed in the yard for his mother and left when a colleague of his mother informed us.his mother returned and got angery with us when met us and left alone to home.my baby,however,enjoyed the ice cream very much.dinner was again dumplines.i drank wine and beer.his mother also resumed to normal mood.after dinner i continued my work of customizing firefox settings after updated it to newest edition.the kid son of the kid sister returned and soon shifted to balcony to show their sepreation with me while i working in the room they now occupied.my baby haunted me sometimes but was held aside by his mother and his mother gradually felt hard to deal with my baby’s need to bump and crack to shift the evil will around him.i finished my work duely and tried to pacify his mother.we then ate the remnant of the huge orange and we including our baby enjoyed it.then my baby let me push him riding his bike with which he still too little to operate the paddle.for i worried my bike outside of the building on the ground i left in advance after 8 pm.my baby and his mother all calmed down and farewalled to me gladly.

that’s my nice day.in the dawn i dreamed of liushuyun,my nankai unv.alumni and my one year’s college girlfriend,called our alumni to visit a professor,who had 3 dogs,2 big and a small.she bribed the teacher.she was enrolled by state security bureau after graduate and trickily turned her name in alumni of www.chinaren.com into blank in display while the placeholder visible.i just wondering why she not hide her name totally,not to boast chinese secret cop’s super power penetrating popular webhost among common people.

bye.i enjoyed the wide screen lcd so far in the night.i had nothing to worry about.read or not read on my pda not a question of being.dog doomed to play with its own shadow in the wind.for the summer and for the winter,they danced in their hell day to come.

i love u.with feeling in steering light bolt.kiss u with tear.



{January 3, 2007}   bright day

last night i finished update my firefox portable to newest version and also tried ftp client portable.i was charged 5 yuan a night.returned to dorm i ate my breakfast which fresh for hungery stomache.the rest of morning spent on bed dozing but can’t sleep.after lunch i wandered around the area outside of qrrs,esp.its eastern part directly connected to suburb.along the road mushroomed many small vendors,likely those lost their flat house to qrrsers’ residential zone and had to find a new living.then i wandered about an hour in the sunshine in the tree yard of the dorm area.the benches all rid,banished any open social contact method,like we saw in the summer u practised here.that’s machinery thinking,for their only interest.i met a beautiful young girl with her friend lingered in the road.the rest of the afternoon spent on bed,most time immersed in love emotion.after dinner i intended to surf but on the way a little boy playing cracks and let me felt sorry for my baby,so i headed to see him.there his mother’s kid sister again lean on the bed.she is in fact a prostitude,her most liked poise was laid herself on bed or sofa,like a sex animal.my baby was forced to try to lean against her and she just dirty willed every day.and when my baby crawled across her body she can’t help but open her cell phone.she is really evil and enjoyed being evil.she glad to show in front of us attracting my baby.my baby’s mother would rather stayed in waiting room,and i also soon left to operate the notebook in our bedroom to avoid her nasty show.the grandma and her kid sister watched aside,but the grandma soon left,likely can’t hold.the prostitude later left and proudly declared she would visit tomorrow.she felt she gained,but god know what won and continued to win.i never worry about my baby’s ability.when all challenges within the home settled,neighbors challenges let my baby bumped and made a lot of cracks,let his mother’s nerves almost broken.my baby felt a lot of joyes to strike the ears spying around in the residential building.when he tried he was milked and slept.i left in dark.his mother angery with me and slept on bed,don’t talk to me.but after i left she called me back and handed me a clean bedsheet as planned to replace the current one,and offer me 2 apples when i asked.
we r under stern challenge now.my baby especially threatened.but god’s shine forever cast on our soul and body.we doomed to brace the brighter and brighter future.
bye.i love u.i today sometimes felt ur hostility.kiss u with freer.

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{January 3, 2007}   special bright sunny day

dog ruined my works after 2 am at which i had worked on for 5 hours.there is no way to avoid its nasty.
last night posted here a newly open cafe successfully with 3 yuan for 2 hours.after returning to the dorm i was trentched by temptations and fought with it.rotten rat rabbled lately and first time ingnored my sleep and chatting lasted for about 2 hours after i went to bed.i went to bed after 0 am and got up at 11:14 am.my grand father appeared awhile in my dream.when i arrived,the kid sister first time shown in proper mood.i kissed my baby’s leg.soon his mother arrived.lunch was rich and she told me yesterday they prepared lots of delicious foods and some of them missed me.after lunch she went to shower.the kid sister slept in the room locked.the neighbors constantly probing my relation with my baby,my god,they tried to seperate my baby from me.my baby then started to play with scattering rice onto the floor,just echoed my grand father’s ask in my prevous dream.when his mother returned and catch sight of the mess she got angery and demanded my leave or cleaning the floor.i didn’t acted upon,but started to sort files on my udisk and sd card.when my baby and his mother woke up from bedroom,i started to clean the floor with air cleanner.then i emptied the stuffed cleaner and let his mother happy.then the grandma arrived and started to wash.the kid son of the kid sister also returned and cooked with his mother.later we ate dinner,including a soup.we drank wine.i felt in mood to share and turned talkative with them.my baby finished his dinner first then the kid son.we couples and the old sisters chatted on the table on balcony.then i visited my baby and found he was fed by the kid son peacefully.i stayed awhile and let the kid son unease and laid himself to bed.my baby later played with standing onto lofty stacked mats and stepped down and found lots of joyes.his mother or the grandma bought me a new thick trousers and i praised it.we all enjoyed  a huge orange his mother bought.my baby ate quite some.after returned to the dorm,i felt again temptations.i reviewed my love for the girl fang(square) when i there in nankai unv. preparing my entrance exam for master degree candidate.i don’t know if she got married or kept single,had a child or not.i had reiterate the process of my broken heart with love for her and the process of my can’t live with her after returning to my hometown and finally got sleeplessly and refused to trust anyone and being forced to be treated in asylum.in my view,each time i got mad was in fact i died in heart and can’t live with the routine life and still can live with losing all the settings i beset,to escape for freedom.i also told my story with qrrs,my once working place in the process of my second falling into asylum.dog clearly knew why they ruin my blogging in the mid.
i even more assured i m near my kingdom to reclaim and to recover.temptation never can hide the reality that the highly enjoyed now threatening me,and my threat to they,who had judged others’ lives so far so scar,for they r not the judge,but the object of judge.
dog in this new cafe allowed me accessed more warez stuff within domestic ftp sites,while foraign sites heavily blocked or retarded.they allowed my uploading a clip shot today of my baby with his parents but defied other 2.its liked a bargain but it didn’t start from tonight.temptation was one of its harness.
bye.i love u.in sunshine,in this overnight,in the bright moon light these
night.kiss u with beer.
my baby today.



{January 1, 2007}   sunny day till dark

posting to my blogs costed me 2 hours and more in the cafe at noon,till after 12 am.dog blocked my uploading to google and forced me haunted far to find a cafe in their casual absence to upload.so far i uploaded my user data to my yahoo account.but youtube.com still blocked.returned to the dorm i had to eat lunch at the nearby pub,costing me 7 yuan for 2 fishes.in the room i rest myself on bed and started to tired a pdf reader just got from the web on my pda.then dog nearby via wireless hacked my pda heavily.i tried several ways including registry editing and reinstallation but all in vain.they likely modified the installation cab on my sd card within a day.after i started to customize my pda’s connection setting in the aim to falsified it flocks of qrrser in the dorm launched to leave.i waited on bed till dinner time.i ate dinner in the canteen with a bottle of beer.then i walked a mile to a new cafe to upload.now dog blocked groups-beta.google.com not to let me upload while groups.google.com accessible previously.they just lost all their means and basic politeness to guise their ugly appearance.on the way a minicar of cop blocked my way and i spitted to it and cursed.in the cafe a cop in uniform sat right near the entrance.shits,what a laugh.they want to know their presence but also know nothing can change me,change my cling to my kingdom and my god.nothing can change the rule of heaven.what they can do,beside this?they just marched like a shadow gay around me and they did shadow me sometimes.that’s all the Sun witness on my march toward my brilliant future,my unity with u in near timespace.
i likely got what i needed.bye.i love u.kiss u with beer and fear.
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{January 1, 2007}   bright sunny morning

last night the cafe charged me 5 yuan after i surfed 2 hours exactly according my record,but the clerkwoman of the cafe claimed i surfed 2 hours and 5 minutes.i didn’t nothing but post.posting via post2blog or addons of firefox problematic,while quite sometimes succeeded without any problem.the only problem likely the dog captured my posting data package and modified it before it was sent to the world web.most of my google service blocked,esp. googlepages,and gmail where i can upload my files.youtube.com and bloglines.com blocked to death,never displayed a single line after times refresh.dog just need a play before its death.after returned to the dorm i wondered till 0:30 then read ’terrorism between vietnam war and 9.11’,an ebook i got several days ago from ftp stuff,till 1:20 am. i dreamed a lot.first lots of concernings about the health and safety of my baby son.then on the open yard of my hometown village near its entrance i met my second elder sister who arrived to let me know she want to let my baby join a tv baby show or make a solo show of my baby.i strongly opposed it for its would bother my baby.but she left to persuade my baby’s mother.then on the cross of the residential area of my baby’s mother’s home and the railway station,where nearby there is a islamic restaurant farer and a supermarket titled ’kanglefu(healthy marry and wellbeing)’ nearer on the northeast district the cross divided,and where there is a bike repairer whose owner is a thin middle aged man,and on its farest end of its northwest district of the cross divided sits the ’junzhengzhaodaisuo(hotel of army politics)’ where i with my baby and his mother ate once in the summer,i holding a little fish in my palms and tried not to spilt it onto the ground.but it did slipped from my hands to the ground,where a team of building gathered and spoke.the officer asked me about my house but i didn’t reply and walked toward the main street to the center of the city.then i laid myself on bed in a house just on the northwest district where the hotel of army politics sat,and my baby’s mother entered with a woman,i let her near me to tell her my dream but she just want to let my baby show public.the woman followed her likely busy aside to boast a real estate.so i lost my temper and started to chase to beat her,my baby’s mother,like each time she stupidly opposed me and after beat she just lived well with what i ruled.then a crowd of workers marched on the street on the east to west direction of the cross,and i found i sat on a lofty tables stack against the wall of the supermarket of ’kanglefu’ and tried to eat some pickles from a jar aside.the chairman of the workers’ association talked to me.then i searched all rooms for my parents in the old house when its still new in my hometown and only found my grand father weak on the bed of the room where first occupied by our newly married second elder brother’s couples,then where me and my kid brother grown up in the room,i found my grand father almost faint in the quilt and cried.but he ruthly demanded me offer him 1.5 kg rice,or 3 jin in chinese unit,if i can’t find it right hand i can borrow from the wife of eldest brother of him,or of his second elder brother’s eldest son,or of my eldest brother’s.i cried loudly and asked why he suffered starves so long even i remit to my hometown with 1000 yuan or more and my mother told me that’s enough,but he told me that’s not enough.so i hurried to borrow rice from the wife of the eldest son of the second elder brother of my father,her facial express was dubious but she offer a cup with countable rice particles in water.i intended to leave but i asked her why 3 jin rice results so few rice,she replied the rice her family cooking was not ready.that likely all i can remember about the dream in dawn.its my first time crying in dream in front of my grand father.when i open my eyes i found its 9:45 am.i put on and headed here to log it.
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